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Clips from The Great North - Beef Mommas House Adventure (S02E02)

"some cheese sauce for her pretzel.""
The Great North
"MRS. TUNTLEY andAw..."
The Great North
"So you two are both divorced?"
The Great North
"Yup. We're just a couple of D-bags."
The Great North
"I thought I was the only dad here and the only divorcé."
The Great North
"Well, you seem like a great dad, Beef."
The Great North
"No one blames you for what happened with Kathleen."
The Great North
"Yeah, it was tough when she left."
The Great North
"And it's been challenging being a single parent ever since."
The Great North
"I'm not really much of a socializer."
The Great North
"The only parent friends I've ever had"
The Great North
"were some hummingbirds that lived outside my window"
The Great North
"with their hummingbird baby for a while."
The Great North
"Before I started hanging out with these two,"
The Great North
"I spent a lot of time talking to my bathtub reflection."
The Great North
"She's fun, but she's crazy."
The Great North
"As a single mom, sometimes I feel like"
The Great North
"someone's always asking me to take over flying the plane"
The Great North
"at 35,000 feet."
The Great North
"And you have to get all the passengers into their pajamas"
The Great North
"and convince them to eat the in-flight meal."
The Great North
"- Exactly. - I always feel better when I talk to the girls"
The Great North
"after a couple of Dorothy's famous rum and pokes."
The Great North
"I hand you a glass of rum and then I poke you in the shoulder"
The Great North
"and tell you to get talking."
The Great North
"Well, maybe I'll come back next week."
The Great North
"Ah, look at us-- a classic foursome,"
The Great North
"- like Sex and the City. - Or like those poor trash cans"
The Great North
"in front of the Burrito Barn."
The Great North
"I'm the blue one. She's super hot."
The Great North
"Okay, everyone, I have deeply investigated"
The Great North
"this haunted pot holder situation,"
The Great North
"and I believe your pot holder is being haunted"
The Great North
"by our ancestor Eugenia Tobin."
The Great North
"She was a suffragette who hated traditional "women's work""
The Great North
"and was the first lady to work at the docks."
The Great North
"And then she died when she fell into the oven"
The Great North
"while trying to burn her burlap pioneer brassiere."
The Great North
"And now she's in this piece of fabric?"
The Great North
"What a world!"
The Great North
"Well, she sounds very fun."
The Great North
"I'd love to pick her ghostly brain."
The Great North
"Me, too. And that's why I, AbracaJudy,"
The Great North
"have decided we must have a séance."
The Great North
"Uh, are you sure you're up for a séance, Wolf?"
The Great North
"What do you mean, Ham? My husband loves haunted stuff."
The Great North
"Yeah. L-Let's have that séance today-ance."
The Great North
"Wolf, no! We need special herbs and a Ouija board"
The Great North
"and themed snacks, like haunted hummus"
The Great North
"and possessed pita chips."
The Great North
"Oh, and I'll bring otherworldly onion dip"
The Great North
"and some cursed crackers."
The Great North
"Maybe the ghost will eat some snacks, too."
The Great North
"I would love to watch a pretzel rod fly through the air"
The Great North
"and then get chomped by an unseen presence."
The Great North
"I know this is very catty,"
The Great North
"but Stephanie at the post office said she had no tape"
The Great North
"for me to use, but behind her I could see tape."
The Great North
"Oh, Chumbo's been going to the post office in Death Cliff."
The Great North
"That way he gets more time with his fancy new snow machine."
The Great North
"He tricked it all out. It has a new sound system"
The Great North
"so we can go on smooth jazz rides together."
The Great North
"Oh, that's so romantic."
The Great North
"You guys holding on to each other,"
The Great North
"listening to Kenny G."
The Great North
"Jamie plays the flute for Russell and I every morning."
The Great North
"Here's the snow machine and here's Chumbo."
The Great North
"I know he's a bit of a wild man, but my ex was a real drip."
The Great North
"Chumbo makes me forget"
The Great North
"I'm a 47-year-old lady with a mortgage,"
The Great North
"a weak pelvic floor, and a slight--"
The Great North
"I mean teeny-tiny-- kleptomania problem."
The Great North
"- He sounds great. - To Chumbo and Carissa!"
The Great North
"Well, if it isn't the famous Chumbo."
The Great North
"And it looks like he's fetched a soda for Carissa."
The Great North
"He is complete"
The Great North
"boyfriend material."
The Great North
"Baby, you want a piece of ice?"
The Great North
"You know I do."
The Great North
"Give me that ice. Give me some ice, baby."
The Great North
"Uh-oh. That's not Carissa."
The Great North
"He's the other type of"
The Great North
"bad man."
The Great North
"So, you saw your new friend Carissa's dude"
The Great North
"kissing on another lady in a parking lot."
The Great North
"Yes, and indulging in--"
The Great North
"and pardon me for being so graphic-- "ice-play.""
The Great North
"And you didn't call her right away to tell her?"
The Great North
"No. Carissa really likes this Chumbo,"
The Great North
"and I don't want her feelings to get hurt."
The Great North
"But imagine how she's gonna feel"
The Great North
"if she finds out he's cheating and that you knew."
The Great North
"The thing is, back before Kathleen and I split up,"
The Great North
"my friend Gordon told me he walked in on her and Marcus"
The Great North
"making out in the bathroom at the library."
The Great North
"And for some reason, I felt mad at Gordon"
The Great North
"and never talked to him again."
The Great North
"What if I tell Carissa, and she gets upset with me"
The Great North
"and kicks me out of Moms' Night?"
The Great North
"No more bonding? No more dirty mom-tinis?"
The Great North
"No more insulting Nancy Smith's bushes?"
The Great North
"Her bushes are so disorganized! You know,"
The Great North
"I once had to tell my friend Cheesecake"
The Great North
"that his girlfriend took out a life insurance policy on him."
The Great North
"And at first he thought I was just jealous"
The Great North
"that they were spending so much time together."
The Great North
"And I was. But then he found a machete"
The Great North
"under her bed that had his name on it."
The Great North
"Yeah, she'd stuck it on there with a Post-it note."
The Great North
"And once he saw that, he understood."
The Great North
"Part of the reason we're still friends today"
The Great North
"is because he didn't get murdered."
The Great North
"So you guys think the best thing to do is tell Carissa?"
The Great North
"- I do, Dad. - Beef, yes."
The Great North
"I better give this a think."
The Great North
"Perhaps I'll make another canoe."
The Great North
"Dad, there are already seven in the shed."
The Great North
"And three in the basement."
The Great North
"It's time to put on"
The Great North
"the ceremonial robes."
The Great North
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