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Clips from Lucifer - Infernal Guinea Pig (S03E03)

We can't rewrite history.

"We can't rewrite history."

Lucifer

Detective, you're a genius.

"Detective, you're a genius."

Lucifer

You've just given me my idea.

"You've just given me my idea."

Lucifer

Once upon a time,

"Once upon a time,"

Lucifer

there were two brothers... Cain and Abel.

"there were two brothers... Cain and Abel."

Lucifer

They fought, as brothers often do, over everything.

"They fought, as brothers often do, over everything."

Lucifer

What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands

"What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands"

Lucifer

or holding spiders?

"or holding spiders?"

Lucifer

That's you and your brother

"That's you and your brother"

Lucifer

pummeling each other over a pet rock.

"pummeling each other over a pet rock."

Lucifer

And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake.

"And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake."

Lucifer

That's not how it happened.

"That's not how it happened."

Lucifer

Well, artistic license, my friend.

"Well, artistic license, my friend."

Lucifer

The point is that you were always at each other's throats.

"The point is that you were always at each other's throats."

Lucifer

Until...

"Until..."

Lucifer

...you fought to the death.

"...you fought to the death."

Lucifer

You killed Abel

"You killed Abel"

Lucifer

and became the world's

"and became the world's"

Lucifer

first murderer.

"first murderer."

Lucifer

Now, the part where my father marks you,

"Now, the part where my father marks you,"

Lucifer

cursing you to walk the earth for eternity,

"cursing you to walk the earth for eternity,"

Lucifer

- it's tricky to draw. - Now, um,

"- it's tricky to draw. - Now, um,"

Lucifer

I've heard this one before... the ending sucks.

"I've heard this one before... the ending sucks."

Lucifer

My point exactly.

"My point exactly."

Lucifer

We all know how your story ends.

"We all know how your story ends."

Lucifer

But what if we change how it begins?

"But what if we change how it begins?"

Lucifer

What if you never killed Abel?

"What if you never killed Abel?"

Lucifer

What if we did...

"What if we did..."

Lucifer

this?

"this?"

Lucifer

Clean slate.

"Clean slate."

Lucifer

That's impossible. How would we do that?

"That's impossible. How would we do that?"

Lucifer

Oh, simple.

"Oh, simple."

Lucifer

I shall fly down to Hell,

"I shall fly down to Hell,"

Lucifer

pluck your brother's soul, and drop it into a vacant body.

"pluck your brother's soul, and drop it into a vacant body."

Lucifer

This would make Abel technically alive,

"This would make Abel technically alive,"

Lucifer

and therefore not murdered, and you innocent.

"and therefore not murdered, and you innocent."

Lucifer

Wait, back up. My brother is in Hell?

"Wait, back up. My brother is in Hell?"

Lucifer

Yes, of course. In fact, he's our oldest tenant.

"Yes, of course. In fact, he's our oldest tenant."

Lucifer

I knew it. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people

"I knew it. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people"

Lucifer

Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.

"Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me."

Lucifer

Right, can we just focus on my genius plan?

"Right, can we just focus on my genius plan?"

Lucifer

If we bring Abel back to life,

"If we bring Abel back to life,"

Lucifer

that would erase your crime.

"that would erase your crime."

Lucifer

No crime, no mark, no curse.

"No crime, no mark, no curse."

Lucifer

You'd be mortal and can finally die.

"You'd be mortal and can finally die."

Lucifer

This one's good.

"This one's good."

Lucifer

Oh, this one's even better.

"Oh, this one's even better."

Lucifer

Yeah, a bit past its sell-by date, I'm afraid.

"Yeah, a bit past its sell-by date, I'm afraid."

Lucifer

Wait till Abel wakes up in this body.

"Wait till Abel wakes up in this body."

Lucifer

I never thought I'd say this,

"I never thought I'd say this,"

Lucifer

but slow down, Lieutenant.

"but slow down, Lieutenant."

Lucifer

Time to lay down some soul-dropping rules,

"Time to lay down some soul-dropping rules,"

Lucifer

or what I think the rules are, at least.

"or what I think the rules are, at least."

Lucifer

You have done this before, right?

"You have done this before, right?"

Lucifer

Not exactly, but based on a sample size of, uh,

"Not exactly, but based on a sample size of, uh,"

Lucifer

one crooked cop and one goddess,

"one crooked cop and one goddess,"

Lucifer

I can only drop a soul into someone who's recently died.

"I can only drop a soul into someone who's recently died."

Lucifer

How recent?

"How recent?"

Lucifer

The instant after death.

"The instant after death."

Lucifer

So we need a fresh one.

"So we need a fresh one."

Lucifer

How are we gonna find that?

"How are we gonna find that?"

Lucifer

Hey, guys?

"Hey, guys?"

Lucifer

There's been an explosion at a high-rise downtown.

"There's been an explosion at a high-rise downtown."

Lucifer

There's one dead at the scene, one on the way to the ICU.

"There's one dead at the scene, one on the way to the ICU."

Lucifer

Oh, that's promising.

"Oh, that's promising."

Lucifer

- Excuse me? - He means that's a promising chance

"- Excuse me? - He means that's a promising chance"

Lucifer

to question the witness at the hospital.

"to question the witness at the hospital."

Lucifer

Mm. Yes,

"Mm. Yes,"

Lucifer

where loads of people are on the brink of death.

"where loads of people are on the brink of death."

Lucifer

So you want to question someone who's unconscious

"So you want to question someone who's unconscious"

Lucifer

and in critical condition?

"and in critical condition?"

Lucifer

The witness may recover, have some intel.

"The witness may recover, have some intel."

Lucifer

- Can't hurt to check. - Hmm.

"- Can't hurt to check. - Hmm."

Lucifer

Okay, we'll work the crime scene.

"Okay, we'll work the crime scene."

Lucifer

Lucifer, you coming?

"Lucifer, you coming?"

Lucifer

Lucifer's coming with me this time.

"Lucifer's coming with me this time."

Lucifer

Shall we?

"Shall we?"

Lucifer

Bomb squad did their threat report.

"Bomb squad did their threat report."

Lucifer

Ruled it as a homicide, handed it off to us.

"Ruled it as a homicide, handed it off to us."

Lucifer

Looks like the bomb came by messenger.

"Looks like the bomb came by messenger."

Lucifer

And, uh, an assistant opened the package, triggering the bomb.

"And, uh, an assistant opened the package, triggering the bomb."

Lucifer

Huh. Is that the messenger?

"Huh. Is that the messenger?"

Lucifer

Yep. Rest in peace, dude.

"Yep. Rest in peace, dude."

Lucifer

We tried to track who sent it, but they covered their tracks.

"We tried to track who sent it, but they covered their tracks."

Lucifer

One thing we do know

"One thing we do know"

Lucifer

is that the assistant wasn't the target.

"is that the assistant wasn't the target."

Lucifer

Package was addressed to her boss.

"Package was addressed to her boss."

Lucifer

Producer Alexa Lee, she just came in, she's pretty shook up.

"Producer Alexa Lee, she just came in, she's pretty shook up."

Lucifer

All right. Let's go talk to her.

"All right. Let's go talk to her."

Lucifer

Where were you when the blast occurred?

"Where were you when the blast occurred?"

Lucifer

At home.

"At home."

Lucifer

My Tuesday session with Paolo,

"My Tuesday session with Paolo,"

Lucifer

my Pilates trainer.

"my Pilates trainer."

Lucifer

You have any idea who'd want to hurt you?

"You have any idea who'd want to hurt you?"

Lucifer

Any past enemies, grudges, anything like that?

"Any past enemies, grudges, anything like that?"

Lucifer

How much time you got?

"How much time you got?"

Lucifer

Come on, this is Hollywood.

"Come on, this is Hollywood."

Lucifer

I get way more hate mail than fan mail.

"I get way more hate mail than fan mail."

Lucifer

Did any one threat stand out at all?

"Did any one threat stand out at all?"

Lucifer

Uh, my assistant will know.

"Uh, my assistant will know."

Lucifer

Bree Garland.

"Bree Garland."

Lucifer

She deals with all my mail and...

"She deals with all my mail and..."

Lucifer

oh, my God, did Bree open the box?

"oh, my God, did Bree open the box?"

Lucifer

She's in the ICU.

"She's in the ICU."

Lucifer

But we haven't heard word yet.

"But we haven't heard word yet."

Lucifer

Oh, no.

"Oh, no."

Lucifer

It should have been me.

"It should have been me."

Lucifer

Poor Bree.

"Poor Bree."

Lucifer

Bree Garland?

"Bree Garland?"

Lucifer

- She won't do at all. - Why not?

"- She won't do at all. - Why not?"

Lucifer

Well, how much do you hate your brother

"Well, how much do you hate your brother"

Lucifer

on a scale of one to ten?

"on a scale of one to ten?"

Lucifer

One thousand, infinity plus one.

"One thousand, infinity plus one."

Lucifer

Right, well, if we pop Abel into a body this young,

"Right, well, if we pop Abel into a body this young,"

Lucifer

you could be stuck with him for another 70 years.

"you could be stuck with him for another 70 years."

Lucifer

That's a lot of quality time.

"That's a lot of quality time."

Lucifer

Copy, not her.

"Copy, not her."

Lucifer

Now, what we need is someone ancient,

"Now, what we need is someone ancient,"

Lucifer

someone at death's door.

"someone at death's door."

Lucifer

Someone...

"Someone..."

Lucifer

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