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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Shamrocks and Shenanigans (S01E01)

"‐what you did today. ‐SAMANTHA: Okay. All right, Kate."
Single Drunk Female
"You know what, get out of my store."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, got it. (laughs) ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(whoops) ‐We're in."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, I didn't kiss the mezuzah. Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"It's all right."
Single Drunk Female
"‐It's okay. All right. ‐It's St. Patrick's Day."
Single Drunk Female
"St. Patrick's Day, yes. Tomorrow for the mezuzah."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Methinks milady"
Single Drunk Female
"‐likes a good Irish jig. ‐Oh!"
Single Drunk Female
"I love Irish jigs. My feet hurt."
Single Drunk Female
"Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm..."
Single Drunk Female
"Are we, uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"Are we alone?"
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha!"
Single Drunk Female
"I guess she went out."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Or she's deaf. Mm."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, should we, uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"go to your boudoir?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. (grunts)"
Single Drunk Female
"I have something to tell you."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"It's been a while for me."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh... two and a half years."
Single Drunk Female
"To be exact. (chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"(short chuckle)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐I know. I know, I know. ‐God..."
Single Drunk Female
"It's okay. I've..."
Single Drunk Female
"never even done it before."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, what‐what... what can I do"
Single Drunk Female
"to make you feel comfortable?"
Single Drunk Female
"Make me 30 years younger."
Single Drunk Female
"Why would I do that?"
Single Drunk Female
"I want to make love to this you."
Single Drunk Female
"You take as much time as you need."
Single Drunk Female
"And I will be right here."
Single Drunk Female
"Not going anywhere."
Single Drunk Female
"How about a foot rub?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh, so now? All right, great. ‐Yes, now."
Single Drunk Female
"‐♪ ♪ ‐(indistinct chatter)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐(shouts) ‐That's them."
Single Drunk Female
"James!"
Single Drunk Female
"What's up?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Can I get the keys? ‐Who's this?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐This is Mindy. Uh, she's my... ‐Fiancée."
Single Drunk Female
"We're engaged."
Single Drunk Female
"Wow, James. You played this one close to the vest."
Single Drunk Female
"Right, and we have a hot date to, uh, put away groceries,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐so can I get the keys, please? ‐Oh. Oh, yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"The keys... Ooh!"
Single Drunk Female
"Bro, you are only getting these keys if you play us."
Single Drunk Female
"Beer pong. Winner gets the keys."
Single Drunk Female
"JAMES: Oh, come on, man."
Single Drunk Female
"Don't worry. I got you."
Single Drunk Female
"‐BLAKE: Dude, you know he's sober. ‐But he's here."
Single Drunk Female
"Maybe he, like, changed his mind?"
Single Drunk Female
"If they make one, what are we gonna do?"
Single Drunk Female
"Pour it out on the ground. This place is a shithole."
Single Drunk Female
"Come on. This is the final boss battle."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"(cheering)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐No keys. No keys. ‐No keys. No keys."
Single Drunk Female
"‐No keys. ‐No keys."
Single Drunk Female
"You did it!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Did y'all see that? ‐Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
Single Drunk Female
"(cheering)"
Single Drunk Female
"Thanks."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You guys are gonna go straight home, right? ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐No doubt. ‐Okay. ‐Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Thank you. ‐Bye, babe. ‐You're welcome. Bye."
Single Drunk Female
"DANIELLE: Bye!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Wow. ‐Hi, sorry."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hi. ‐Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"I just wanted to know which one you ended up with,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh. ‐'cause they're all so great and so beautiful."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Well... ‐I mean, truly spectacular options."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm. Yeah, you don't really have to lie about it. It's okay."
Single Drunk Female
"I know they're all really, really bad."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, they're not great. ‐Like 27 Dresses. Honestly."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, I just also wanted to say,"
Single Drunk Female
"you know, if you ever need,"
Single Drunk Female
"like, another set of eyes or something,"
Single Drunk Female
"uh, when you go to another place, I'm around"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and I'm... I could‐I could come with you. to the next spot ‐Yeah, ex... Yeah, no..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐if you want. Like... ‐Uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"You know what, thanks, I‐I, uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"That's a really nice offer, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you. Bye."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm around. ‐No, I know. Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"No, of course. And, uh, have a‐have a good day,"
Single Drunk Female
"and I... and I'll see you another time, and if I don't,"
Single Drunk Female
"that's totally fine, too, but, i‐in the meantime,"
Single Drunk Female
"you know, stay well and take care of you."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. I... What?"
Single Drunk Female
"Can I have a small black coffee, please."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Thanks. ‐MINDY: I recognize that person."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hmm? ‐MINDY: (whoops) Sammy Fink!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐JAMES: All alone on St. Paddy's Day night, huh? ‐Oh, hi."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hi. ‐Didn't realize you two were hangout friends. Nice."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, we weren't. Now we are."
Single Drunk Female
"‐It's complicated. ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"He's the cishet wingman of my dreams."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(phone vibrates) ‐Ah. Oh, hang on."
Single Drunk Female
"Dispatches from the trenches."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(indistinct chatter) ‐Sammy!"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm so proud of you"
Single Drunk Female
"and your sobriety."
Single Drunk Female
"‐And we got a message for you. ‐(whooping)"
Single Drunk Female
"Sam. Don't come in here."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Don't do it. Don't‐don't do it. ‐Don't... don't do it. Shh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(whoops) ‐I love you, Sammy. Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'll see you in, like, two days when I'm done being hungover."
Single Drunk Female
"Mwah! Have a good one."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, they're about to start the butt cheek race!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐TINA: Butt cheek! ‐Oh, I got to go."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, I'm gonna do a toast."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I'm a toast guy now. Uh, to us."
Single Drunk Female
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