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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Shamrocks and Shenanigans (S01E01)

"(indistinct chatter)"
Single Drunk Female
"(indistinct announcement over P. A.)"
Single Drunk Female
"Hey. Clock out for your break."
Single Drunk Female
"And when you're back I need you to cover for Doris."
Single Drunk Female
"She called in sick, but you know what that means today."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't. What does that mean today?"
Single Drunk Female
"MAN (over P. A.): Shoppers, stock up on all things green."
Single Drunk Female
"Visit our bakery department"
Single Drunk Female
"and pick up your St. Paddy's Day treats."
Single Drunk Female
"(indistinct chatter continuing)"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, no."
Single Drunk Female
"Yep. Happy St. Patrick's Day."
Single Drunk Female
"Or, as I like to call it, The Purge for Sober People."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Don't back down, I don't run for cover ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ And the crowd goes... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Wait, wait, wait, my baby, let me help you carry that."
Single Drunk Female
"Baby, the doctor said not to lift anything."
Single Drunk Female
"My baby, I think she meant, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"not to lift anything after implantation, but"
Single Drunk Female
"‐I can... Yeah. ‐Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense. Why don't you"
Single Drunk Female
"‐put the snacks in the front seat, honey? ‐Okay. I can do that."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Ow! ‐What?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my gosh, it's so heavy."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't think I can have a baby now."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hilarious. ‐I know. I'm so funny."
Single Drunk Female
"(phone rings)"
Single Drunk Female
"Hey. Sam, how you holding up?"
Single Drunk Female
"It's like being the only Jewish kid in town on Christmas."
Single Drunk Female
"Which I was. But I didn't like that either, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. Today's gonna be tough."
Single Drunk Female
"You don't have to thrive it, you just have to survive it."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Where are you guys? ‐Oh, we're packing up the car."
Single Drunk Female
"We are going down the Cape with, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"Vinnie, Allegra, Molly, Brenda."
Single Drunk Female
"Sort of our last hurrah before we have a baby."
Single Drunk Female
"Wow. Sounds like a rager."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Blast some "Closer to Fine" for me, okay? ‐That's a good idea."
Single Drunk Female
"Babe, can you get the playlist ready?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, I have it. Yeah... No, it's ready. ‐Cue it up."
Single Drunk Female
"Wait, are you alone?"
Single Drunk Female
"Seriously?"
Single Drunk Female
"Isolating on a day like today is not a good idea."
Single Drunk Female
"If you... Yeah, Stephanie's saying if you want to"
Single Drunk Female
"‐come with us you can. ‐No."
Single Drunk Female
"No, no, no, come on."
Single Drunk Female
"Seriously, I've got, like, plenty of options."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, I don't want to ruin your weekend. It's all good."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, well, if you need a meeting go to Club 24/7‐‐"
Single Drunk Female
"they're having meetings all day. Just stay off of Instagram."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm gonna send you this great meditation app."
Single Drunk Female
"And if, you know, you feel lonely"
Single Drunk Female
"or any feelings come up, just"
Single Drunk Female
"give me a call. Door's always open."
Single Drunk Female
"‐No, no, no. The door's closed. ‐Stephanie's saying that"
Single Drunk Female
"‐the door's also always open. ‐The... Oh, my..."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, I love you. Hang in there."
Single Drunk Female
"Love you, too. Okay, b... bye. Bye."
Single Drunk Female
"Ow!"
Single Drunk Female
"Why? I still have five minutes."
Single Drunk Female
"You're not wearing green. Also, I need you"
Single Drunk Female
"to mop up that puddle of festive‐looking vomit."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"You bet. I'm gonna have, like, three green beers"
Single Drunk Female
"the second we get off."
Single Drunk Female
"I hear one more time about"
Single Drunk Female
"the green beer, I'm gonna scream."
Single Drunk Female
"Sammy. What are you doing here?"
Single Drunk Female
"SAMANTHA: Yeah, I was just thinking, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"maybe, you know, you and Zack could come over,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐we could make cookies or... ‐Oh, yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Today's got to be a hard day for you, huh?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. No, I mean, it's fine."
Single Drunk Female
"I just feel like I owe the kid after Roller Land"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and it could be fun, right? ‐Aw, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"I love you and your journey,"
Single Drunk Female
"but today is the day of my people."
Single Drunk Female
"‐St. Pat's Day is like my Super Bowl. ‐I know."
Single Drunk Female
"It's actually better than the Super Bowl."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't have to watch Maroon 5 shirtless."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You know... ‐Yeah, I get it."
Single Drunk Female
"What are you gonna do?"
Single Drunk Female
"Um, well, Zack's with his dad"
Single Drunk Female
"and I'm gonna go out with Tina and her crew."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh. ‐Check it out, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"I bought a new shirt."
Single Drunk Female
"Tina, stop showing off your titty window to Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"She can't come out with us."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Ay, really? That sucks. ‐No, it's okay."
Single Drunk Female
"It's a great titty window. I'm happy for you guys."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Thank you. ‐SAMANTHA: Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐She just got 'em done. ‐Uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"Hello. That was a secret."
Single Drunk Female
"Sorry, oh, I... You..."
Single Drunk Female
"You let me touch them."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I would have never known. ‐Okay. Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"MAN (over P. A.): Shamrock cupcake special:"
Single Drunk Female
"two boxes for only $3.99."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey. I know you."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey. That's a lot of almonds."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Looks like you're stocking up for a very healthy end of days. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Locked myself out of my place, so"
Single Drunk Female
"just waiting to hear back from my idiot roommates."
Single Drunk Female
"They're very lucky if that kale is all for them."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah. Right. ‐MAN: Attention, shoppers."
Single Drunk Female
"‐For your St. Paddy's Day cookout, we have ‐(phone vibrates)"
Single Drunk Female
"a special today on sirloin strip."
Single Drunk Female
"No."
Single Drunk Female
"Shit."
Single Drunk Female
"‐You okay? ‐Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"It's just..."
Single Drunk Female
"They're at a bar."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, I haven't been to a bar in, like, a year. You know?"
Single Drunk Female
"They always forget that I'm sober."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, lucky for you,"
Single Drunk Female
"my shift just ended, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"let's go find some drunks."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
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