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Clips from Arrested Development - Best Man for the Gob (S01E01)

"Here are the new Euphorazine side effects."
Arrested Development
"Ah, the solo. That is for my lovely and talented daughter."
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"Delayed irritability? What do they mean by delayed?"
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"It means it comes later! This is ridiculous! Why do we even have to do this?"
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"We are doing this to keep our family together."
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"No, I'm serious. We're dressed like we're in the '60s."
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"- It's the 21 st century. We should be dressing like it's the '80s. - Lindsay..."
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"I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating."
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"If you need me, I'll be at the bar."
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"Well, fine, Lindsay. That's fine."
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"- Maeby and I'll just do... - Yeah. I'm out too."
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"You think you can handle it alone? 'Cause if you don't perform, we don't validate."
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"Back in Michael's hotel room..."
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"the guys were settling down for the night..."
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"so as to be ready for their 4:00 a.m. wake-up call."
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"It sure sounds like they're having fun out there by the pool."
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"Oh, they think they're having fun, Son, but it's not lasting fun."
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"It is fleeting fun, like a bachelor party."
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"What we got here is lasting fun. Okay? You think about that."
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"- Good night, Son. - Good night, Dad."
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"- Marco! - Polo!"
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"Marco!"
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"- Polo! - Marco!"
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"- Hey, Dad? - Polo!"
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"- Dad, are you still awake? - Still awake."
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"It's just, um..."
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"I mean, this is really fun and everything..."
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"This isn't even the fun part. Tomorrow..."
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"Yeah."
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"The problem I'm having is, uh..."
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"- I have a pretty finely tuned internal clock... - Mm-hmm."
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"which is why I'm actually such a good natural percussionist."
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"And, um..."
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"I'm just worried that I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep..."
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"for another two hours and 45 minutes."
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"So, I was thinking maybe I would go down and check out Maeby's band..."
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"and you could go see if Gob's bachelor party has started."
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"Shh, shh, shh. I'm right where I want to be."
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"Gob had his chance to have me there..."
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"but if you're sure that you can't sleep."
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"It's just... I don't know when I'm gonna get another chance like this..."
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"- you know, to be there for family. - Right."
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"- I'd hate to miss it, because I was too proud. - Right."
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"Wait a minute. Too proud? What does this have to do with too proud?"
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"Actually, that part was kinda just for you."
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"I was just worried the whole thing wasn't gonna land unless I included the pride part."
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"Upstairs, Gob was preparing to set up the accountant..."
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"under his father's helpful gaze."
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"- Who called the cops? - And with the aid of some helpful gays."
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"You told me to hire people to look like my friends."
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"They're Hot Cops. They're entertainers."
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"Although I specifically asked them not to come dressed as cops."
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"You better change now. He's gonna be here soon. Butch, guys. I want it butch."
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"Hey, uh, you got the blood. Right?"
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"Yeah, I got two buckets full right... Hey! What the hell happened to the blood?"
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"- Hey, Brother. - Whoa!"
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"- Somebody put on his lipstick in the car. - I love juice!"
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"This next number is the only ballad that the Solution ever attempted."
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"And I must say I feel a bit like a Mary..."
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"without a Peter and a Paul, but I suppose it's worth a shot."
Arrested Development
"Teamocil is no longer available."
Arrested Development
"Please try either Grouphug, Bondat or consult your own Wellness Guide."
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"Teamocil!"
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"You're out of the band."
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"And, back at the bachelor party..."
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"Gilligan had arrived, and the con was in full swing."
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"It's Ira, and I'm fine."
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"Come on! Have a drink!"
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"There's some stuff coming up you might not be able to handle sober."
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"Speaking of which, where's Buster?"
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"In fact, Buster had finished thejuice..."
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"and was desperately looking for his next sugar fix..."
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"when he discovered the cake in the next room."
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"Unfortunately, he was unaware of the narcoleptic stripper confined within it."
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"Yeah, I better go in the back room and have a look for him."
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"- Ira, have a drink! - I'm not thirsty. I want some food."
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"Ooh."
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"Okay. Keep it together. Don't go all Michael here."
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"Knock, knock! Where's the married bachelor?"
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"Michael, I thought you weren't coming. I thought he wasn't coming!"
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"Well, I wasn't going to, but he's my brother, and I'm here to support him..."
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"like all these, uh, hot men and Ira."
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"Well, you're not gonna stay. I mean, this isn't your kind of scene."
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"Dad, please, stay out of it, all right? I'm here for Gob. Now, where are the strippers?"
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"- Well, l... - Mmm! You got a little back room going, huh?"
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"- Well, l... - Mmm! You got a little back room going, huh?"
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"- Huh? Huh? - Well..."
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"just relax. I'm as fun as anybody. I can handle a back room."
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"- I'm calling the cops. - No! - We're changing again, guys!"
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"- No. No cops. - Well, what is this?"
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"She died. She's dead."
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"- It was Gilligan! - What?"
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"Gilligan killed the skipper... stripper."
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"I didn't kill any stripper."
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"- You're drunk. You don't remember. - You're pulling the rip cord!"
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"Ira, take my honeymoon tickets. Get out of the country. Save yourself."
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"- I'm not drunk. Bix made me the designated driver. - Bix!"
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"Just then, the stripper woke up..."
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"saw Buster with what appeared to be blood around his mouth..."
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"- and thought she had killed him for groping her. - Not again."
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"You were setting me up."
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"You're trying to get me to leave the country."
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"Well, the hell with you, sir. Bix, we're leaving."
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"I'm testifying."
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"Yeah, the party's over. That's it."
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"You were trying to set Ira up?"
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"Oh, Gob, Gob. Come on. Is this true?"
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"Oh, wait a minute. It wasn't your idea, Gob."
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"- It was your idea. Wasn't it, Dad? - It wa..."
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"- Huh? - Even if it was my idea, which it wasn't..."
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"Gob screwed it up, which he did and always does."
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"- You don't have to take that. - What the hell am I supposed to do?"
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"Here."
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"- Oh, no. No, no. Don't you dare, mister. - Do it. Do it."
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"Hey, Gob! I am your best man. I am your fath..."
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"What does it matter? I screwed it up anyway. A complete failure."
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"Can't even fake the death of a stripper."
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"Oh, come on. That's not a bad thing."
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"- It doesn't make you a failure. Dad's the failure. - Really?"
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"When he was my age, he ran an entire company, had kids."
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