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Clips from Seinfeld - The Raincoats (S05E05)

"As humans, we need training in social skills..."
Seinfeld
"...conversational distance."
Seinfeld
"Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth..."
Seinfeld
"...like you're a clown at a drive-through?"
Seinfeld
"And handshakes is the worst."
Seinfeld
"There's absolutely no guidelines for handshakes."
Seinfeld
"You know how many people-? Too strong, too weak."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes they give you..."
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"...the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers."
Seinfeld
"Early release, late release."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes people will dispute your release."
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"You've let go. They're hanging on."
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"I have actually said to people, "Hey, the handshake is over.""
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"Too many pumps, coming in too high..."
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"...too sweaty, from too far away."
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"Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release..."
Seinfeld
"...and pull you in for the too-close conversation."
Seinfeld
"To him I say, "That's three strikes. You're out.""
Seinfeld
"You know, the timing couldn't be worse."
Seinfeld
"Is there a good time to have your parents stay with you?"
Seinfeld
"I haven't been together with Rachel for three weeks."
Seinfeld
"First I was on the road, then my parents show up."
Seinfeld
"I'm getting a little backed up."
Seinfeld
"- When are they leaving for Paris? - Not for three days."
Seinfeld
"- What about her place? - She lives with her parents."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents."
Seinfeld
"Then maybe baldness will catch on."
Seinfeld
"Things will all be turning your way."
Seinfeld
"Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on."
Seinfeld
"When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to?"
Seinfeld
"Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship?"
Seinfeld
"The baldies."
Seinfeld
"My parents want your parents over for dinner."
Seinfeld
"Good. I get the apartment for at least one night."
Seinfeld
"I'm paying for this Paris trip. It's their anniversary present."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, guys. - Hey, Alec."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Alec. - This is Joey."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Joey, how are you doing? - Hey, listen..."
Seinfeld
"...I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing some work..."
Seinfeld
"...for the Big Brother program. I'm kind of running the local chapter."
Seinfeld
"What do you say, George?"
Seinfeld
"- Well... - Wouldn't you..."
Seinfeld
"...like to be a Big Brother to someone like me?"
Seinfeld
"Please?"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...sure, Joey, sure."
Seinfeld
"I would be thrilled."
Seinfeld
"That's great. Thanks. I'll get in touch with you."
Seinfeld
"Wouldn't you like to be a Big Brother-?"
Seinfeld
"All right, Joey. That's enough."
Seinfeld
"Let's go. See you."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - What could I do?"
Seinfeld
"Did you see the mug on that kid?"
Seinfeld
"Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me?"
Seinfeld
"Please?"
Seinfeld
"Have you noticed they moved..."
Seinfeld
"...where they do the interview on Jeopardy?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. It was in the middle of Single Jeopardy."
Seinfeld
"- Now it's after Single Jeopardy. - Yeah. It's much better, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no comparison."
Seinfeld
"I gotta get my parents one of those French-English dictionaries."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, hey, hey. - What?"
Seinfeld
"Your parents are going to Paris, right?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - So I tell Alec..."
Seinfeld
"...that I have to go to Paris for an undetermined amount of time."
Seinfeld
"Then all I have to do is buy postcards..."
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"...and have your parents mail them from Paris."
Seinfeld
"- What about little Joey? - Who?"
Seinfeld
"- He's probably better off. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I'm trying to get out of this Big Brother program."
Seinfeld
"When you get to Paris, drop them in any mailbox."
Seinfeld
"- But there are no stamps on these. - You gotta buy French stamps."
Seinfeld
"I'll reimburse you, of course."
Seinfeld
"Why are you doing this?"
Seinfeld
"He wants this guy to think he's in Paris."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - Because George..."
Seinfeld
"...is a deeply disturbed individual."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hey, Helen. Could I use some more of your hand lotion?"
Seinfeld
"I told you it was good. It's from the Saks Fifth Avenue in Miami."
Seinfeld
"I'll remember that if I'm ever in Florida."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City."
Seinfeld
"- You can get some there. - Yeah?"
Seinfeld
"Say, those are nice pants. I got a pair just like them at home."
Seinfeld
"That doesn't surprise me. I bought these at Rudy's."
Seinfeld
"It's a used clothing store. See, when people like you die..."
Seinfeld
"...the widows, they bring in their wardrobes."
Seinfeld
"- They make a bundle. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"My father's got a ton of old clothes just sitting up in the attic."
Seinfeld
"- You think they're worth something? - If they're vintage."
Seinfeld
"And you're a widow."
Seinfeld
"What happens if the husband dies after the wife?"
Seinfeld
"- Who brings the clothing in then? - I suppose the children do."
Seinfeld
"Yes, I suppose they do."
Seinfeld
"All right. I got a 10:00. I'll see everybody later."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I just remembered..."
Seinfeld
"...my parents wanna have you over for dinner before you leave."
Seinfeld
"- What about tonight? - Tonight?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. They're making paella."
Seinfeld
"I don't think we can make it tonight. We have plans."
Seinfeld
"- What plans? - We have plans."
Seinfeld
"- Where did you get plans? - We have plans."
Seinfeld
"- Well, what about tomorrow night? - Maybe."
Seinfeld
"Okay..."
Seinfeld
"- ...I guess I'll tell them that. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, give them our best, though. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- I'll call you later. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- So, what plans do you have? - None."
Seinfeld
"So how come you're not going over there for dinner?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, we don't care much for the Costanzas."
Seinfeld
"We can't stand them."
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"- Really? Since when? - Since always."
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"- We've never liked them. - Why?"
Seinfeld
"Well, they're so loud. They're always fighting."
Seinfeld
"It's uncomfortable. You never noticed?"
Seinfeld
"I noticed. But they're from your age group."
Seinfeld
"I didn't think you could detect..."
Seinfeld
"...abnormal behavior among your own kind."
Seinfeld
"Well, we do."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's us."
Seinfeld
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