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Clips from Mr. Mayor - The Debate (S02E02)

"credit reports,"
Mr. Mayor
"a photo of her attacking Dick Cheney"
Mr. Mayor
"that looks like she's trying to hug him--"
Mr. Mayor
"God, you know-- absolutely not."
Mr. Mayor
"Say what you will about Arpi Meskimen--"
Mr. Mayor
"Her hair is a step back for women."
Mr. Mayor
"Her style inspiration is hardware-store Rumpelstiltskin."
Mr. Mayor
"But she's a straight shooter."
Mr. Mayor
"She's not gonna play games."
Mr. Mayor
"And as long as I look like this..."
Mr. Mayor
"[shutter clicks] I don't have to either."
Mr. Mayor
"[upbeat music]"
Mr. Mayor
"I don't know what I did."
Mr. Mayor
"But still, good lookin' cat."
Mr. Mayor
"So what do you have to do today?"
Mr. Mayor
"Award key to the city"
Mr. Mayor
"to guy who convinced Elon Musk to move to Texas..."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, yeah. - Hand out, uh--"
Mr. Mayor
"what are centenarian certificates?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, Angelenos that turn 100"
Mr. Mayor
"get a certificate from the mayor..."
Mr. Mayor
"who's not here today."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, that's so sad."
Mr. Mayor
"Maybe we should reschedule?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Ah, that feels...risky. - Yeah, better get them in."
Mr. Mayor
"So do you wanna grab a bite later?"
Mr. Mayor
"[giggles]"
Mr. Mayor
"Maybe some place quiet where we can talk?"
Mr. Mayor
"Talk? [giggles]"
Mr. Mayor
"[knocks] - Ms. Shaw, your 11:00."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, great. [clears throat]"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm supposed to meet with some 100-year-olds."
Mr. Mayor
"You guys look 80, tops."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, this is so exciting."
Mr. Mayor
"I never get out, except for doctor's appointments,"
Mr. Mayor
"funerals, and when I just wake up at the bus station."
Mr. Mayor
"And now I get to meet the mayor!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Which of you is Mayor Bremer? - Oh..."
Mr. Mayor
"Uh, Mayor Nell Bremer. [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"It's spelled wrong on the door."
Mr. Mayor
"Government work, am I right? [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"Hello."
Mr. Mayor
"Hey."
Mr. Mayor
"[hard rock music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"Is that..."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi?"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay. Unexpected."
Mr. Mayor
"Jayden convinced her to soften her look."
Mr. Mayor
"Who knew that was in there?"
Mr. Mayor
"Ms. Meskimen,"
Mr. Mayor
"how can you expect to be mayor of the City of Angels"
Mr. Mayor
"with a butt like the devil?"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughing] Oh, you."
Mr. Mayor
""Oh, you?""
Mr. Mayor
"This is the woman who Spider-Man'd up"
Mr. Mayor
"an unfinished high-rise"
Mr. Mayor
"to yell at a construction worker who whistled at her."
Mr. Mayor
"Exactly, sir. That's still Arpi"
Mr. Mayor
"underneath that skirt suit."
Mr. Mayor
"You need to get the real Arpi to come out."
Mr. Mayor
"Like when you feed a real housewife eight rosés."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, this? [indistinct chatter]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, maybe just leave it with me."
Mr. Mayor
"End her."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"Welcome to the Los Angeles Mayoral Recall Debate. I'm Chet Danville."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's jump right in."
Mr. Mayor
"Homelessness used to be"
Mr. Mayor
"a reliable staple of sitcom hijinks."
Mr. Mayor
"Gas Mask Reggie,"
Mr. Mayor
"how do we fix it so it can be funny again?"
Mr. Mayor
"Chet, this is my tenth campaign,"
Mr. Mayor
"and my platform has not changed."
Mr. Mayor
"By the time you need a gas mask,"
Mr. Mayor
"it will be too late."
Mr. Mayor
"I cede the remainder of my time."
Mr. Mayor
"[applause]"
Mr. Mayor
"Great stuff as always, Reggie."
Mr. Mayor
"Former Mayor Victor Delgado."
Mr. Mayor
"I am back, healthy, and ready to serve the city again."
Mr. Mayor
"Same question to you."
Mr. Mayor
"No, I can't do this."
Mr. Mayor
"Sorry. Sorry, everyone."
Mr. Mayor
"[scattered applause]"
Mr. Mayor
"And just like that, it's a three-way race."
Mr. Mayor
"Deputy Mayor Arpi Meskimen."
Mr. Mayor
"Homelessness. Go."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"L. A."
Mr. Mayor
"Where else can you go to the beach and the mountains"
Mr. Mayor
"on the same day? Am I right?"
Mr. Mayor
"[cheers and applause]"
Mr. Mayor
"Whoo!"
Mr. Mayor
"[applause]"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
""Mayor Bremer.""
Mr. Mayor
"Same question."
Mr. Mayor
"I have a better question, Chet."
Mr. Mayor
"How can you trust a woman..."
Mr. Mayor
"Well said."
Mr. Mayor
"Who'd run for mayor against the very man who hired her?"
Mr. Mayor
"[chuckles]"
Mr. Mayor
"There you go again."
Mr. Mayor
"[laughter] - No, no, no, no, come on."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's not forget about all the promises"
Mr. Mayor
"she's made over the years:"
Mr. Mayor
"making L. A. carbon-neutral,"
Mr. Mayor
"freeing the zoo animals,"
Mr. Mayor
"getting the porn industry to shoot on film again."
Mr. Mayor
"I mean, has any of that happened?"
Mr. Mayor
"No."
Mr. Mayor
"It's all digital and you can tell."
Mr. Mayor
"It's ruined storytelling."
Mr. Mayor
"[applause and whistling]"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh. Never done a fist pump before."
Mr. Mayor
"It's easy."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ms. Meskimen, your response? - You know, Chet?"
Mr. Mayor
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