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Clips from I Dream of Jeannie - My Master, the Great Rembrandt (S01E01)

Are you beginning to get the picture, major?

"Are you beginning to get the picture, major?"

I Dream of Jeannie

But, sir, l don't know anything about art.

"But, sir, l don't know anything about art."

I Dream of Jeannie

l just know what l painted.

"l just know what l painted."

I Dream of Jeannie

Now, look, if you'll just go look at the bottom right-hand corner of this...

"Now, look, if you'll just go look at the bottom right-hand corner of this..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...that you'll see that Rembrandt has signed it: '' Rembrandt.''

"...that you'll see that Rembrandt has signed it: '' Rembrandt.''"

I Dream of Jeannie

Jeannie....

"Jeannie...."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Harmenszoon. -Yeah.

"-Harmenszoon. -Yeah."

I Dream of Jeannie

Now, major, you're going to tell us where you got this painting.

"Now, major, you're going to tell us where you got this painting."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Well, l'm afraid l can't, sir. -And l'm afraid you'll have to.

"-Well, l'm afraid l can't, sir. -And l'm afraid you'll have to."

I Dream of Jeannie

You see, major, if you painted this picture...

"You see, major, if you painted this picture..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and signed it Rembrandt and sold it...

"...and signed it Rembrandt and sold it..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...you're guilty of conspiracy and grand larceny.

"...you're guilty of conspiracy and grand larceny."

I Dream of Jeannie

On the other hand, if you didn't paint it...

"On the other hand, if you didn't paint it..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and it's the original Rembrandt that was hanging in the Louvre...

"...and it's the original Rembrandt that was hanging in the Louvre..."

I Dream of Jeannie

-...then you're guilty of theft. -And grand larceny.

"-...then you're guilty of theft. -And grand larceny."

I Dream of Jeannie

And grand larceny. l can't wait to hear what your choice is.

"And grand larceny. l can't wait to hear what your choice is."

I Dream of Jeannie

Jeannie! Jeannie! This is your master calling, Jeannie.

"Jeannie! Jeannie! This is your master calling, Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

Where are you?

"Where are you?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Hi, Jeannie.

"Hi, Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

Hello.

"Hello."

I Dream of Jeannie

-What are you doing? -l am painting a van Gogh.

"-What are you doing? -l am painting a van Gogh."

I Dream of Jeannie

lsn't Rembrandt good enough for you?

"lsn't Rembrandt good enough for you?"

I Dream of Jeannie

-Did the auction go well, master? -Oh, no, it went great.

"-Did the auction go well, master? -Oh, no, it went great."

I Dream of Jeannie

l can't tell you what a sensation my painting caused.

"l can't tell you what a sensation my painting caused."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, l am glad.

"Oh, l am glad."

I Dream of Jeannie

-What did you get for it? -About 30 years.

"-What did you get for it? -About 30 years."

I Dream of Jeannie

-l do not understand. -Jeannie, it's against the law...

"-l do not understand. -Jeannie, it's against the law..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...to go around painting original Rembrandts.

"...to go around painting original Rembrandts."

I Dream of Jeannie

But why? He painted so beautifully.

"But why? He painted so beautifully."

I Dream of Jeannie

Because they're gonna put me in jail for it. Dr. Bellows has given me...

"Because they're gonna put me in jail for it. Dr. Bellows has given me..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...until tomorrow morning to explain that painting...

"...until tomorrow morning to explain that painting..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and l couldn't explain it in a million years.

"...and l couldn't explain it in a million years."

I Dream of Jeannie

l am sorry, but l only did it because--

"l am sorry, but l only did it because--"

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, because you said you wished you could paint as well as Rembrandt.

"Well, because you said you wished you could paint as well as Rembrandt."

I Dream of Jeannie

Will you stop listening to me?

"Will you stop listening to me?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Tony?

"Tony?"

I Dream of Jeannie

-Tony! -l'm up here, Roger.

"-Tony! -l'm up here, Roger."

I Dream of Jeannie

Hi, Jeannie. Hi, Tony.

"Hi, Jeannie. Hi, Tony."

I Dream of Jeannie

Hey, l just figured out what must've happened.

"Hey, l just figured out what must've happened."

I Dream of Jeannie

Look, you painted the picture, Jeannie blinked and turned it...

"Look, you painted the picture, Jeannie blinked and turned it..."

I Dream of Jeannie

-...into the real thing. -Brilliant!

"-...into the real thing. -Brilliant!"

I Dream of Jeannie

From now on, we'll call you Rembrandt.

"From now on, we'll call you Rembrandt."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, Roger! That's about as funny as a court martial.

"Oh, Roger! That's about as funny as a court martial."

I Dream of Jeannie

And that's exactly what's gonna happen to me...

"And that's exactly what's gonna happen to me..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...if l don't explain that thing by tomorrow morning.

"...if l don't explain that thing by tomorrow morning."

I Dream of Jeannie

Why don't you tell him the truth? That's always the best thing.

"Why don't you tell him the truth? That's always the best thing."

I Dream of Jeannie

Just tell them that Jeannie--

"Just tell them that Jeannie--"

I Dream of Jeannie

Court martial? Well, look, why don't you have Jeannie paint...

"Court martial? Well, look, why don't you have Jeannie paint..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...another Rembrandt, and then everyone'll be confused.

"...another Rembrandt, and then everyone'll be confused."

I Dream of Jeannie

l will be happy to.

"l will be happy to."

I Dream of Jeannie

No. l'd still be in trouble.

"No. l'd still be in trouble."

I Dream of Jeannie

Why don't you have somebody say the picture's a fake.

"Why don't you have somebody say the picture's a fake."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, l thought of that. lt wouldn't work.

"Well, l thought of that. lt wouldn't work."

I Dream of Jeannie

How do you know it will not work?

"How do you know it will not work?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Because Dr. Bellows is flying over Pierre Millay from Paris.

"Because Dr. Bellows is flying over Pierre Millay from Paris."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Pierre Millay? No kidding? -Yeah. Yeah!

"-Pierre Millay? No kidding? -Yeah. Yeah!"

I Dream of Jeannie

Who's he?

"Who's he?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Pierre Millay is the art expert at the Louvre.

"Pierre Millay is the art expert at the Louvre."

I Dream of Jeannie

He's the world's foremost expert on art.

"He's the world's foremost expert on art."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, boy. Well, the world is gaining a Rembrandt...

"Oh, boy. Well, the world is gaining a Rembrandt..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...but losing an astronaut.

"...but losing an astronaut."

I Dream of Jeannie

Are you standing there, telling me Major Nelson painted a Rembrandt?

"Are you standing there, telling me Major Nelson painted a Rembrandt?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, of course he didn't really paint it, general.

"Well, of course he didn't really paint it, general."

I Dream of Jeannie

He pretended to. But l have two art experts...

"He pretended to. But l have two art experts..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...who swear that it's genuine.

"...who swear that it's genuine."

I Dream of Jeannie

Art experts have been known to make mistakes.

"Art experts have been known to make mistakes."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, l'm aware of that, sir.

"Oh, l'm aware of that, sir."

I Dream of Jeannie

So l've taken the liberty of flying in the greatest art expert in the world:

"So l've taken the liberty of flying in the greatest art expert in the world:"

I Dream of Jeannie

Pierre Millay, from the Louvre.

"Pierre Millay, from the Louvre."

I Dream of Jeannie

And if he says it's genuine?

"And if he says it's genuine?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Then Major Nelson will have to explain why he has a stolen Rembrandt.

"Then Major Nelson will have to explain why he has a stolen Rembrandt."

I Dream of Jeannie

And once he does that, then l think we can make him explain...

"And once he does that, then l think we can make him explain..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...a lot of other mysterious things that have been happening around here.

"...a lot of other mysterious things that have been happening around here."

I Dream of Jeannie

l've waited a long time for this day, general.

"l've waited a long time for this day, general."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Major Nelson. -Yes, sir.

"-Major Nelson. -Yes, sir."

I Dream of Jeannie

Monsieur Millay will be here any minute. Shall we go?

"Monsieur Millay will be here any minute. Shall we go?"

I Dream of Jeannie

l don't think it'll be necessary, sir. There's something l want to tell you.

"l don't think it'll be necessary, sir. There's something l want to tell you."

I Dream of Jeannie

l'm sure there is. But l don't want to hear it.

"l'm sure there is. But l don't want to hear it."

I Dream of Jeannie

-You don't want to hear it? -That's right, major. This time...

"-You don't want to hear it? -That's right, major. This time..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...you're gonna make your explanation in front of General Peterson.

"...you're gonna make your explanation in front of General Peterson."

I Dream of Jeannie

-l want him to hear it. -But, sir, really--

"-l want him to hear it. -But, sir, really--"

I Dream of Jeannie

Major, the general is waiting.

"Major, the general is waiting."

I Dream of Jeannie

l want you to know l don't believe a word of this, Tony.

"l want you to know l don't believe a word of this, Tony."

I Dream of Jeannie

But since Dr. Bellows is making an issue of it...

"But since Dr. Bellows is making an issue of it..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...it's my duty to get to the bottom of it.

"...it's my duty to get to the bottom of it."

I Dream of Jeannie

l understand, sir, and there's no point in waiting for Mr. Millay any longer.

"l understand, sir, and there's no point in waiting for Mr. Millay any longer."

I Dream of Jeannie

l may as well tell you that, well, this painting--

"l may as well tell you that, well, this painting--"

I Dream of Jeannie

Monsieur Millay!

"Monsieur Millay!"

I Dream of Jeannie

You must be Dr. Bellows.

"You must be Dr. Bellows."

I Dream of Jeannie

Yes. How kind of you to come all this way.

"Yes. How kind of you to come all this way."

I Dream of Jeannie

As you Americans say, the wild horses could not keep me away.

"As you Americans say, the wild horses could not keep me away."

I Dream of Jeannie

-This is General Peterson. -How do you do?

"-This is General Peterson. -How do you do?"

I Dream of Jeannie

-Monsieur. -And this is Major Anthony Nelson...

"-Monsieur. -And this is Major Anthony Nelson..."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Monsieur. -...alias, Rembrandt.

"-Monsieur. -...alias, Rembrandt."

I Dream of Jeannie

But if this is a joke, l do not understand it.

"But if this is a joke, l do not understand it."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, you will, Monsieur Millay. You will.

"Oh, you will, Monsieur Millay. You will."

I Dream of Jeannie

Are you ready to make your confession now, major?

"Are you ready to make your confession now, major?"

I Dream of Jeannie

l may as well, sir. You see, this picture is really a--

"l may as well, sir. You see, this picture is really a--"

I Dream of Jeannie

A fake.

"A fake."

I Dream of Jeannie

-What did you say? -lt is a fake. A fraud.

"-What did you say? -lt is a fake. A fraud."

I Dream of Jeannie

How you say? A phony.

"How you say? A phony."

I Dream of Jeannie

Are you trying to tell us that this is not a genuine Rembrandt?

"Are you trying to tell us that this is not a genuine Rembrandt?"

I Dream of Jeannie

That is what l am saying.

"That is what l am saying."

I Dream of Jeannie

But l have two experts who say it's genuine.

"But l have two experts who say it's genuine."

I Dream of Jeannie

And l...

"And l..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...l, who am the greatest art expert in the world...

"...l, who am the greatest art expert in the world..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...l tell you it is a fake.

"...l tell you it is a fake."

I Dream of Jeannie

A child could see it like this.

"A child could see it like this."

I Dream of Jeannie

This could have been painted by him.

"This could have been painted by him."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, it was.

"Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, it was."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Doctor. -Yes, general.

"-Doctor. -Yes, general."

I Dream of Jeannie

l've done it again.

"l've done it again."

I Dream of Jeannie

Since you said all the time that you painted it...

"Since you said all the time that you painted it..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and since the money was for charity, there's no fraud involved.

"...and since the money was for charity, there's no fraud involved."

I Dream of Jeannie

Do you agree with me, Dr. Bellows?

"Do you agree with me, Dr. Bellows?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, l....

"Well, l...."

I Dream of Jeannie

Yes, general.

"Yes, general."

I Dream of Jeannie

l think there's something you'd like to say to Major Nelson, isn't there?

"l think there's something you'd like to say to Major Nelson, isn't there?"

I Dream of Jeannie

l....

"l...."

I Dream of Jeannie

l apologize, major.

"l apologize, major."

I Dream of Jeannie

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