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Clips from Arrested Development - Top Banana (S01E01)

"Well, now that we've got an employee, we can go have dinner."
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"We throw away a banana for every buck we take so no one finds out."
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"Wait a minute. I think you should do that math again."
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"- Why? Is it wrong? - It's fine."
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"He's an arsonist, not an embezzler."
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"Meanwhile, Michael got an urgent call from his mother."
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"Gob is unhappy."
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"Again? I tried to include him. I gave him a job."
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"- You gave him a letter to mail. - Don't tell me that was too much for him."
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"No, Michael, he mailed the letter. That's not the point."
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"Gob had not mailed the letter, but, in an act of defiance..."
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"dramatically hurled the letter into the sea."
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"This proved a more difficult dramatic gesture than he'd anticipated."
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"- So what do you want me to do about it? - Don't take that tone."
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"He's my son. I want you to make him stop calling me."
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"Am I the only one who works in this family?"
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"Yes, that's my gal."
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"Who would have imagined... two actors in one family?"
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"We're like the Lunts!"
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"- You see... Excuse me. - Mama."
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"And so, Lindsay and Maeby separately went to the same restaurant..."
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"to celebrate thejobs they hadn't actually performed..."
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"with money they hadn't actually earned."
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"Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough."
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"- Hi, Lucille! - Not as much as you enjoyed yours."
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"You want your belt to buckle, not your chair."
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"Okay, this is what I told Tobias you'd do."
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"Say what you will about him. At least he's happy for me."
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"You know, I think we might be doubling our losses here."
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"Because, I mean, for every dollar you take, you're actually taking two dollars..."
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"because we paid for the bananas."
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"Oh, my God, you're right."
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"I am? Oh, God, I've screwed this up! Okay, we gotta go."
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"- Oh, my God! It's your mom and Gangy. - What are they doing here?"
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"They're grown-ups. They're allowed to have fun whenever they want."
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"We're kids. We're supposed to be working. Now they're gonna tell my dad..."
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"and he's gonna come check the totals and know we took the money."
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"- Oh, God, this is bad. What are we gonna do? - Look."
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"Pop-pop, he's a business man. What would he do?"
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"Bananas Foster."
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"You might wanna let that fire go out before you stick your face in it."
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"That's funny, 'cause I was gonna say, "You might wanna lean away from that fire..."
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"since you're soaked in alcohol.""
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"Mine was better."
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"Mine was better."
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"Welcome to Bluth Bananas, where bananas are our business."
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"May I interest you in a banana this day?"
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"- T-Bone, what are you doing here? - Your dad gave me this job."
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"Michael realized that his father had even taken control..."
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"of the banana stand."
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"But he still had some unanswered questions..."
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"so he did a little detective work."
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"- You burn down the storage unit? - Oh, most definitely."
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"Michael, having a nice day at the beach..."
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"while the rest of us are busting our asses to deliver your mail?"
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"What do you want me to say? You go and complain to Mom..."
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"- and I tried to include you. - Include me?"
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"- Yeah. - I should be in charge. I'm the older brother."
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"- Please, do you even wanna be in charge? - No! But I'd like to be asked."
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"This is just like when we were kids, and you were the only one..."
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"- he let work in the banana stand. - Well, I got news for you."
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"Dad still doesn't trust me to this day. He treats me like a low-level employee."
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"Better than being treated like the goofball..."
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"the joker, the magician."
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"I thought you were gonna do, like, a trick there."
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"- A fireball or something. - I was. It didn't go off."
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"These things never go off when you want them to."
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"- My least consistent trick. - Hang on one sec. Hello."
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"- Hey, Uncle Michael, it's me, Maeby. - Where's George Michael?"
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"At the banana stand. He's about to do something really irresponsible."
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"You think it's irresponsible? I'll be right there."
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"- I'm gonna get blamed for this. - George Michael."
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"- Dad. - Hey, what are you doing?"
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"I was just, uh... I was burning down the banana stand."
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"- What? - I'm sorry. I screwed it all up."
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"I've got no right to call myself Mr. Manager."
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"- Manager. - Manager. I'm sorry, Dad."
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"- Oh, George Michael. - I am. But I'll make it up to you."
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"I'll work weeknights. I'll lay people off."
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"I'll give up my summer, all my summers."
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"just just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."
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"Michael realized he had done to his son what his father had done to him..."
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"so he came up with a solution."
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"- Burn it down. - What?"
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"Let's burn this son of a bitch."
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"This is gonna be our best summer ever, buddy."
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"And so, Michael, his son and his brother together enjoyed..."
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"the cathartic burning of the banana stand."
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"You mailed that insurance check, right, Gob?"
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"The next morning, Lindsay woke up late in the day..."
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"hungover from celebrating her one day of employment..."
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"which, it turns out, she had slept through."
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"All right, Lindsay, forget it. We'll get someone else."
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"Tobias was next on the call list..."
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"but, unfortunately, couldn't hear the phone..."
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"over the sound of the shower."
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"He did, however, use Lindsay's conditioner..."
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"- and was surprised to find that it did help his self-esteem. - Mornin'."
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"- You look nice. - What?"
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"You look very handsome today."
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"Thank you, Lindsay."
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"And Michael finally got to show his father who's boss."
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"- You what? - Burned it right down to the ground."
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"Are you crazy? There was money in that banana stand."
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"Well, it's all gone now, Dad, and it was my decision."
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"So the next time you wanna have a little power struggle..."
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"just remember that you're playing with fire."
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"There was $250,000 lining the walls of the banana stand."
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"- What? - Cash, Michael."
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"- Why didn't you tell me that? - How much clearer can I say..."
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""There's always money in the banana stand"?"
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"- No touching! No touching! - No touching!"
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"- No touching! No touching! - No touching!"
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"On the next Arrested Development."
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"Gob protests the pet store's frozen dove exchange policy."
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"Return from whence you came!"
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"And, Michael, realizing the banana stand..."
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"is the only profitable part of the Bluth empire, decides to rebuild."
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"You couldn't have called me? I can't swing a hammer?"
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