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Clips from Central Park - Episode One (S01E01)

"'Cause I'm not into appearances or athletic shoulders at all. I don't care."
Central Park
"He seemed like the kind of boy who would maybe fly his kite at the same time"
Central Park
"every Saturday near that rock I hide behind."
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"If the wind is blowing, which it is, out of the northeast,"
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"not that I researched that-- I gotta go! I have to go!"
Central Park
"By the way, there's nothing wrong with watching people from afar,"
Central Park
"or through a window, or whatever."
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"Duck down. Duck down."
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"-Didn't I used to have more sausage? -Didn't we all?"
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"But that's life, huh? I gotta go."
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"What about the turtleheads?"
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"That sausage is gonna come up later."
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"You'll see. Follow the sausage."
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"It's a link to something."
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"Get it? I love puns."
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"Glasses, glasses. Oh, God. Glasses."
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"-Owen? -I'm here, Elwood. Go ahead."
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"Bitsy Brandenham's dog,"
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"Shampagne the shih tzi-doodle, is lost in the park."
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"She's gonna have a press conference about it in one hour at the Brandenham Hotel."
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"-Okay. Thanks for letting me know. -What's a shih tzi-doodle?"
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"Elwood, I'll meet you by the flower beds, okay?"
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"-I need to cover that. -What? Why?"
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"Heiress's dog goes missing?"
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"This could be my way into real news."
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"Maybe he was kidnapped. I mean, that would be awful."
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"But also fantastic. But awful. Really bad."
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"But aren't you supposed to go talk to your boss?"
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"Or I could walk in there with a great angle on a breaking story"
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"and prove to him that I can do hard news."
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"Oh, my God! I found my glasses!"
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"I'm becoming my mother, but without all the hidden packs of cigarettes."
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"Okay, bye, bye, bye, bye..."
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"So, you're probably thinking, "Who is Bitsy What'sis'sit?""
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"The heiress to a fortune Bitsy's quite the institution"
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"She's like the Queen of Hearts In that she loves an execution"
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"The Brandenham Hotel Is where she's perched upon her throne"
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"And she's billin' as our villain"
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"Though that isn't quite yet known"
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"Except by you guys. You know now, so..."
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"Damn it, Shampagne. Where are you?"
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"I miss everything about you."
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"Your nonallergenic fur, your weirdly-hard-to-treat worms."
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"It's like I've lost 1,000 friends."
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"Are you distraught?"
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"I'm distraught."
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"I have something that will make you feel better."
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"This cream was made from whale anus."
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"Is it legal?"
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"I think it's illegal."
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"I love that because I hate them."
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"Whales, they think they're so big."
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"Yes-- Oh, no, no, no... No."
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"You're supposed to eat it, I think."
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"That's nice."
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"Oh, no. No, sorry, it's for your skin."
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"Damn it!"
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"Do I look younger?"
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"Oh, you could be my daughter."
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"Oh, Shampagne. Where are you?"
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"How could this have happened, Helen?"
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"I know. It's really, really terrible. I can't stand it."
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"Damn! Damn that stupid dog walker."
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"Well, he seemed competent when I interviewed him."
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"I don't really believe in leashes."
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"It puts me in a power position with the dog that makes me uncomfortable."
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"-You're hired. -Also, I'm a narcoleptic."
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"-Love it. Not a problem. -Oh, great."
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"I wish Shampagne were here."
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"We would be making fun of you so much right now."
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"Yes, you sure would."
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"We'd start with those shoes and just work our way up."
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"And when you bend over, we'd make a fart noise."
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"Yeah. Okay."
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"It's just not the same. It's not the same."
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"People will come, right? Who doesn't like flowers?"
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"It's Turtlehead Day! Sorry, you're playing."
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"Oh, no, no, no. I can take a break. I'm taking a break!"
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"It's Hot Lips Turtlehead Day. All day. Over at the flower beds."
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"I'm not interested in any way, but thank you!"
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"Huh."
Central Park
"What's wrong, buddy? You just said "huh" really sadly."
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"It's nothing. It's fine."
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"Oh, come on. You can tell me."
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"I'm a street musician. I'm almost like a priest."
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"-I don't think that's true. -Yeah, no, it is."
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"It's just-- I think maybe no one cares about the turtleheads."
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"I mean, I can't even get my own kids excited about them."
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"-Am I the only one who cares? -What?"
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"Is my job stupid?"
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"Would I be more useful to the world if I worked in a-- in a factory?"
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"Like a sock factory? Everybody needs socks."
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"Whoa, whoa, mister. That's crazy talk."
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"-People don't need socks anymore. -They don't?"
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"Hey, bring it in. Let's have a little pep talk."
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"-No, thanks. -No, don't fight it. We're doing this."
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"Okay, but I might think about other things while you're talking."
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"-No, you won't. You'll be riveted. -Okay."
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"Socks suck. Except as puppets."
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"People don't need socks, but they do need parks."
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"And this park needs you."
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"And you need me to tell you the park needs you and your socks,"
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"which I'm just noticing are pulled up so high."
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"That was better than I thought it was gonna be."
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"-Was it? Really? -Yeah."
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"-I feel like I didn't get there. -No, you did. I'm gonna go."
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"Was it too much sock stuff?"
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"No, it was perfect."
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"Oh, great. All right. I'll just go back to playing."
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"Yeah, break's over now! I'm gonna play again!"
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"Folks today don't see my way"
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"Though the flora is sure To be a nice array"
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"And my children tell me "no""
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"They got their people to see"
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"They got a place to go"
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"Does it make me sad? Does it hurt old Dad?"
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"Or should I go with the flow?"
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"Flower beds with turtleheads"
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"Got me spinnin' and a-grinnin' When the bloomin' spreads"
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"Hey! Another turtle geek"
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