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Clips from Cheers - The Groom Wore Clearasil (S04E04)

Aw, gee! I don't know What happened

"Aw, gee! I don't know What happened"

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After he left here,

"After he left here,"

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But up until that point,

"But up until that point,"

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Annie had "destination: Dump city" written All over her.

"Annie had "destination: Dump city" written All over her."

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Yeah, well, he said He'd only been thinking About getting married

"Yeah, well, he said He'd only been thinking About getting married"

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Until last night When you changed his mine.

"Until last night When you changed his mine."

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No way did he want To end up, and i quote,

"No way did he want To end up, and i quote,"

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"A lonely old Skirt chaser like sam."

""A lonely old Skirt chaser like sam.""

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Blasphemy.

"Blasphemy."

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What'd you tell My kid, huh?

"What'd you tell My kid, huh?"

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Well...Basically,

"Well...Basically,"

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Why buy the cow

"Why buy the cow"

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When you can get The milk for free?

"When you can get The milk for free?"

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Well, i'll tell you why.

"Well, i'll tell you why."

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Companionship,

"Companionship,"

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Warmth on a cold night,

"Warmth on a cold night,"

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Someone to share Your old age with.

"Someone to share Your old age with."

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You think He should marry her?

"You think He should marry her?"

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I thought we were Talking about a cow.

"I thought we were Talking about a cow."

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Hey, ma.

"Hey, ma."

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Hello, mrs. Tortelli.

"Hello, mrs. Tortelli."

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Vixen.

"Vixen."

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Nice to see you, too.

"Nice to see you, too."

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What are you Doing here?

"What are you Doing here?"

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Look, ma, I don't like us

"Look, ma, I don't like us"

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Being all mad At each other.

"Being all mad At each other."

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[Quietly] You know i love you.

"[Quietly] You know i love you."

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So let's be buds.

"So let's be buds."

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What do you want?

"What do you want?"

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I don't want nothin'.

"I don't want nothin'."

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Uh, except...

"Uh, except..."

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For you to sign This consent form, ma.

"For you to sign This consent form, ma."

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Consent?

"Consent?"

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You want me to sign A consent form?

"You want me to sign A consent form?"

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Yeah. Annie's parents Already agreed To sign it, ma.

"Yeah. Annie's parents Already agreed To sign it, ma."

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Sure, no problem. I'll sign A consent form.

"Sure, no problem. I'll sign A consent form."

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This is my new way Of signing my name!

"This is my new way Of signing my name!"

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Ma! No! You're only 16!

"Ma! No! You're only 16!"

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You were pregnant When you were 16!

"You were pregnant When you were 16!"

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Yeah! But i wasn't Stupid enough To be married.

"Yeah! But i wasn't Stupid enough To be married."

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Come on, anthony,

"Come on, anthony,"

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Let's just take the bus To jersey to see your old man.

"Let's just take the bus To jersey to see your old man."

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You only need One parent's permission.

"You only need One parent's permission."

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Oh, forget him. My father's a bum.

"Oh, forget him. My father's a bum."

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Hey. Don't you talk About your father That way.

"Hey. Don't you talk About your father That way."

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Ok. He's a sleazy bum.

"Ok. He's a sleazy bum."

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That's better.

"That's better."

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But i'll tell you this, ma.

"But i'll tell you this, ma."

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If i don't get Your consent, i'll get his.

"If i don't get Your consent, i'll get his."

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'Cause one way Or another,

"'Cause one way Or another,"

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I am marrying annie.

"I am marrying annie."

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And i was hoping That i could have annie

"And i was hoping That i could have annie"

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As my lovely wife And still keep my mother.

"As my lovely wife And still keep my mother."

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Ma, don't make me Make a choice.

"Ma, don't make me Make a choice."

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Oh, anthony, You don't mean that.

"Oh, anthony, You don't mean that."

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He's a proud man, Mrs. Tortelli.

"He's a proud man, Mrs. Tortelli."

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I guess that's why I love him

"I guess that's why I love him"

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More than any man I've ever known.

"More than any man I've ever known."

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Isn't she great, ma?

"Isn't she great, ma?"

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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I'm not losing a son.

"I'm not losing a son."

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I'm gaining your face.

"I'm gaining your face."

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Hey!

"Hey!"

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Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

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You're not making Any points here, ma.

"You're not making Any points here, ma."

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Well, what am i Supposed to do, Sam, huh?

"Well, what am i Supposed to do, Sam, huh?"

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I gotta stop this.

"I gotta stop this."

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I can't believe They're serious.

"I can't believe They're serious."

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I can't believe That any son Of nick tortelli

"I can't believe That any son Of nick tortelli"

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Would even think About getting married

"Would even think About getting married"

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Without a bun In some oven.

"Without a bun In some oven."

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[Gasps] sam, sammy, That is the answer!

"[Gasps] sam, sammy, That is the answer!"

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Listen, listen.

"Listen, listen."

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Anthony is A tortelli man, right?

"Anthony is A tortelli man, right?"

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Now, all tortelli men Are scum.

"Now, all tortelli men Are scum."

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Ergo,

"Ergo,"

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Given time, His eye will wander,

"Given time, His eye will wander,"

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And the rest Of his slimy body Will follow.

"And the rest Of his slimy body Will follow."

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Come on, mrs. Tortelli, We haven't got all day.

"Come on, mrs. Tortelli, We haven't got all day."

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I have to clean my room Before dinner.

"I have to clean my room Before dinner."

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I just don't see What your hurry is.

"I just don't see What your hurry is."

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I mean, why don't You two have a little Engagement period, huh?

"I mean, why don't You two have a little Engagement period, huh?"

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I'll tell you what. I'll make a deal with you.

"I'll tell you what. I'll make a deal with you."

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Give me, uh... 2 Weeks.

"Give me, uh... 2 Weeks."

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What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

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You two stay Totally apart.

"You two stay Totally apart."

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Don't see Each other.

"Don't see Each other."

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Don't talk To each other.

"Don't talk To each other."

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Don't send messages For 2 weeks.

"Don't send messages For 2 weeks."

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Then, at that time,

"Then, at that time,"

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If you still want To get married,

"If you still want To get married,"

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I'll give you My blessing.

"I'll give you My blessing."

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That's all We have to do?

"That's all We have to do?"

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That's all?!

"That's all?!"

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I'll die.

"I'll die."

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Our burning love Will keep you alive, Anthony.

"Our burning love Will keep you alive, Anthony."

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Uh...I don't know.

"Uh...I don't know."

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What's the matter, Anthony, you afraid?

"What's the matter, Anthony, you afraid?"

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Listen, if you Don't think your love Is strong enough to--

"Listen, if you Don't think your love Is strong enough to--"

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No, no, no, no! We ain't afraid Of nothin'.

"No, no, no, no! We ain't afraid Of nothin'."

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Ok. You got it.

"Ok. You got it."

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But we come back here

"But we come back here"

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In 2 weeks,

"In 2 weeks,"

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And we're even more sure.

"And we're even more sure."

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And after that, Well be together Forever and ever.

"And after that, Well be together Forever and ever."

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You mean, like, Through eternity.

"You mean, like, Through eternity."

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No, like through The weekend.

"No, like through The weekend."

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[Laughing]

"[Laughing]"

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Anthony: i'm gonna be Heartsick missing you.

"Anthony: i'm gonna be Heartsick missing you."

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Yuck.

"Yuck."

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That is the most Childish, Unsanitary thing

"That is the most Childish, Unsanitary thing"

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I've ever seen In my life.

"I've ever seen In my life."

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Boy, i'll say.

"Boy, i'll say."

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Don't they realize

"Don't they realize"

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That gum is a breeding ground For cooties?

"That gum is a breeding ground For cooties?"

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Anthony, would you Get away from the window?

"Anthony, would you Get away from the window?"

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You're fogging up The glass

"You're fogging up The glass"

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With your Lovesick breath.

"With your Lovesick breath."

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Don't be such a grump, ma.

"Don't be such a grump, ma."

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I warned you My feelings wouldn't change.

"I warned you My feelings wouldn't change."

Cheers

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