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Clips from The Jeffersons - George's Skeleton (S01E01)

"HE NEVER GAVE HER NO CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND"
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"HE KNEW SHE WASN'T GONNA GET NONE THIS YEAR."
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"- THAT'S SAD. - ANYHOW, HE HAD THIS BUDDY, SEE."
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"AND THIS BUDDY DIDN'T HAVE NO MONEY NEITHER."
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"ONLY IT DIDN'T MATTER WITH HIS BUDDY 'CAUSE HE ALSO DIDN'T HAVE A MOTHER."
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"SO THEY GOT THE IDEA OF BOOSTING SOMETHING FROM BLOOMINGDALE'S."
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"- I BEG YOUR PARDON. BOOSTING? - YEAH. SHOPLIFTING."
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"THAT'S THE GHETTO CHRISTMAS CLUB."
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"SO, ANYWAY, HE AND HIS BUDDY..."
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"THIS BUDDY... I MEAN, THIS GUY LOVED PANCAKES."
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"I MEAN, FAT ONES, THIN ONES, DOLLAR-SIZED."
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"THIS WILL TAKE CARE OF DOO DOO."
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"OH, DEE DEE."
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"SOMETIMES HE'D HAVE 'EM WITH SYRUP OR STRAWBERRY JAM."
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"OR MAYBE HAVE 'EM WITH BACON. HE WAS JUST CRAZY ABOUT PANCAKES."
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"I THINK I'LL TAKE DEE DEE INTO THE KITCHEN WHERE SHE CAN GET MORE SUNLIGHT."
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"THE ONLY THING HE LIKED BETTER THAN PANCAKES WAS WAFFLES."
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"NOW YOU'VE HIT UPON SOMETHING. I'M VERY PARTIAL TO WAFFLES, ESPECIALLY..."
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"SO ANYHOW, THEY DECIDED TO STEAL A COUPLE OF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS."
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"WOULDN'T THAT BE RATHER MESSY, STUFFING WAFFLES INTO CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS?"
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"WHAT WAFFLES? WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WAFFLES?"
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"THE KIDS GOT BUSTED WITH A COUPLE OF WATCHES AND $50 WORTH OF FRENCH PERFUME."
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"AH, YES. THE STORE DETECTIVE SAW THEM, I SUPPOSE."
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"THE STORE DETECTIVE DIDN'T SEE NOTHING."
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"THE TOP CAME OFF OF ONE OF THE PERFUME BOTTLES..."
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"AND THE MAN KNEW THEY DIDN'T SMELL THAT WAY WHEN THEY CAME IN."
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"THAT'S SAD. SO THE LAD NEVER GOT TO GIVE HIS MOTHER THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT."
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"NOT THAT SEASON. WHEN THEY GOT IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE WITH NO LAWYER,"
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"HE GAVE 'EM A YEAR IN THE SLAMMER."
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"I SEE. AND YOU FEEL THAT LOUISE AND LIONEL WILL"
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"LOSE RESPECT FOR YOU IF ALL THIS COMES OUT."
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"YEP. WAIT. HOLD IT. WHERE DID YOU GET THE IDEA THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ME?"
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"I SAID I HAD THIS FRIEND."
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"YEAH."
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"YEAH. IF LOUISE AND LIONEL EVER FOUND OUT..."
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"I JUST CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN."
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"WELL, MUM'S THE WORD. YOU CAN DEPEND ON ME."
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"YEAH, I CAN ALSO DEPEND ON MY BUDDY."
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"HE'S IN TOWN AND YOU CAN BET HE'S OUT TO HUSTLE ME."
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"- REALLY? HOW CAN YOU BE SURE? - 'CAUSE HE DID IT ONCE BEFORE."
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"THE DAY LOUISE AND I GOT MARRIED, HE THREATENED ME."
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"COST ME 11 BUCKS, PLUS MY ARGYLE SOCKS AND MY SPEIDEL WATCHBAND."
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"WHAT AN UNSCRUPULOUS DASTARD."
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"IS THAT THE WAY YOU PRONOUNCE IT IN ENGLAND?"
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"MY UNCLE DESMOND HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE,"
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"ONLY HE WAS TOO SMART FOR THE FELLOW WHO HAD THE GOODS ON HIM."
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"- WHAT DID HE DO? - HE DECIDED THE ONLY WAY..."
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"TO DEAL WITH A BLACKMAILER WAS TO PULL HIS FANGS."
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"SO HE MADE A FULL CONFESSION TO THE POLICE,"
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"HIS WIFE, THE OTHER WOMAN AND THE BANK."
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"HOW DID THAT SOLVE ANYTHING?"
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"WELL, THE BLACKMAILER GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING."
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"- AND UNCLE DESMOND IS ABLE TO LIVE WITH HIMSELF. - OH!"
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"WHICH IS FORTUNATE BECAUSE HIS CELL IS ONLY FIVE BY SEVEN."
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"I ADMIT IT'S NOT A PERFECT SOLUTION."
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"PERFECT? I THINK IT STINKS."
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"BUT TODAY UNCLE DESMOND CAN LOOK HIMSELF IN THE EYES AND SAY,"
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""ONLY 14 MORE YEARS TO GO.""
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"[Doorbell Rings] I'LL GET IT."
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"ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY DON'T YOU GET IT ON YOUR WAY OUT?"
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"GLADLY. AND SAY GOOD-BYE TO DEE DEE FOR ME, WILL YOU? I HATE SCENES."
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"AH, MR. WILLIS, THIS IS QUITE A SURPRISE."
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"REALLY? NOT FOR ME. FOR MR. JEFFERSON."
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"HE'S HIDING IN THE COAT RACK."
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"IF YOU'VE COME TO ASK ABOUT THE COCKTAIL PARTY, THE ANSWER IS NO."
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"AND IF IT'S ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, THE ANSWER IS STILL NO."
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"COME ON, GEORGE. YOU'LL ENJOY MEETING THE GROUP WE'VE INVITED."
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"SOME OF THE BEST CRIME WRITERS IN THE BUSINESS."
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"I AIN'T GOT TIME TO BE MEETING NO GOOFY CRIME WRITERS."
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"THESE PEOPLE ARE ANYTHING BUT GOOFY."
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"IT TAKES A REAL BRAIN TO WRITE A GOOD CRIME STORY."
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"THEY GET THEIR HEROES IN SUCH TROUBLE,"
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"YOU'D SWEAR THEY COULD NEVER GET THEM OUT OF IT."
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"BUT SOMEHOW THEY ALWAYS DO."
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"- THEY DO? SIT DOWN. - I BEG YOUR PARDON?"
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"RELAX. MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. WELL, THANK YOU."
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"I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU FOR WEEKS,"
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"YOU BEING A BIG-TIME BOOK EDITOR AND ALL THAT."
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"YOU EVER RUN ACROSS A STORY ABOUT A DUDE WHO COMMITTED A CRIME A LONG TIME AGO..."
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"AND A RAT WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT BEGINS TO HOUND HIM AND HOUND HIM?"
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"WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE LES MISERABLES BY VICTOR HUGO."
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"LES WHO?"
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"LES MISERABLES BY VICTOR HUGO. OH. HOW'S IT GO?"
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"WELL, THE HERO, JEAN VALJEAN, WAS RELENTLESSLY PURSUED BY HIS TORMENTOR."
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"- BUT HE FINALLY FOUND HIS FREEDOM. - HOW DID HE DO THAT?"
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"- THE VILLAIN KILLED HIMSELF. - THAT'S NICE."
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"SO THE GOOD GUY GOT AWAY AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER?"
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"- NO. HE DROWNED IN A SEWER. - HE DID WHAT?"
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"MAN, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. WHAT?"
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"AND I DON'T WANNA GO TO YOUR PARTY. AND YOU CAN TELL THAT VICTOR HUGO..."
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"THAT DROWNING IS A DUMB WAY TO GET SOMEBODY OUT OF TROUBLE."
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"WELL, I'LL TELL VICTOR IF HE SHOWS UP."
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"- GEORGE, WHO JUST LEFT? - MR. VANILLA."
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"AND WE STILL AIN'T GOING TO HIS PARTY. [Doorbell Rings]"
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"- GET THE DOOR. - WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER THE DOOR?"
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"- 'CAUSE I AIN'T HOME. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AIN'T HOME?"
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"- IT'S TOM WILLIS, GEORGE. - WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?"
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"NOTHING. I'M JUST HELPING THIS MAN FIND YOUR APARTMENT."
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"GEORGE JEFFERSON! BABY, YOU SURE LOOKIN' GOOD!"
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"- WHAT YOU DOING HERE? - I WAS JUST PASSIN' IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
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"THAT IS, IF YOU CONSIDER HARLEM A PART OF THIS NEIGHBORHOOD."
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"HEY, MAMA."
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"BABY, YOU DOIN' BETTER THAN I EXPECTED."
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"AIN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME IN?"
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"AND, UH, WHO IS THE PRETTY MAMA?"
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"THIS IS MY WIFE LOUISE. THIS IS MY BUDDY MONK DAVIS."
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"WE'RE JUST ON OUR WAY OUT TO THE MOVIES."
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"WHAT MOVIE? THE MOVIE CLAUDINE."
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"WE SAW CLAUDINE. WE DIDN'T SEE IT TWICE."
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"AND TWICE IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA SEE IT TONIGHT."
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"GEORGE, LOOK HERE. I WAS HOPING THE TWO OF US COULD SIT DOWN AND RAP."
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"I GOT A LITTLE PROPOSITION FOR YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"
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"WELL, I HATE TO MISS OUT ON AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS."
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"BUT I'M SORRY, MONK. LIKE I SAID, WE'RE GOING OUT TO THE MOVIES."
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"GEORGE, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?"
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"DINNER IS PRACTICALLY ON THE TABLE."
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"AND I'M SURE WHATEVER MR. DAVIS WANTS TO TALK ABOUT DOESN'T INCLUDE ME."
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"- ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MR. DAVIS? - WELL, NOW, THAT'D BE UP TO GEORGE."
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"UH, EXCUSE ME."
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"HEY, BABY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE."
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