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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - The Slump (S05E05)

"I hope you're ready to waste a lot of your time"
Workaholics (2011)
"and probably none of your money."
Workaholics (2011)
"So I'm 30 pounds overweight, and I suck at life and stuff,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and I was wondering if you wanted to buy a vacuum."
Workaholics (2011)
"Just hang up."
Workaholics (2011)
"No, you hang up."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm fat!"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm so stupid."
Workaholics (2011)
"- You hang up. You, you hang up. - (AIR HORN BLOWS OVER PHONE)"
Workaholics (2011)
"That was good. That was really good."
Workaholics (2011)
"Those people were, like, just jerks, probably."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, not deserving of your time or many talents, Adam."
Workaholics (2011)
"BLAKE: Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"You guys are right."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah?"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'll just regroup and get the next one. You know what I mean?"
Workaholics (2011)
"It's that simple. So if you'll excuse me."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Staying positive. - Yes."
Workaholics (2011)
"Wow, I think he's okay."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, I'm just glad we're not dealing with the full-blown"
Workaholics (2011)
"Sadam CryMamp right now."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, that would be bad,"
Workaholics (2011)
"'cause I am not singing him to sleep tonight."
Workaholics (2011)
"ADAM: Do it, Waymond. Do it. Do it now."
Workaholics (2011)
"No, no, Adam."
Workaholics (2011)
"ANDERS: That is company equipment."
Workaholics (2011)
"I can't get a sale to save my life, so I might as well kill my stupid life"
Workaholics (2011)
"and freaking bleed all over the office."
Workaholics (2011)
"That's what I would do."
Workaholics (2011)
"But Waymond won't pull the damn lever, Waymond!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Waymond, do not do that. Adam, you can't do that, all right?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Also, there's definitely no way that thing can go through your neck."
Workaholics (2011)
"Is that a fat joke? 'Cause my neck's too fat?"
Workaholics (2011)
"It is not about a fat neck. We like your neck, okay?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Now, call Waymond off, and let's just forget this happened."
Workaholics (2011)
"Fine. Waymond, let me up."
Workaholics (2011)
"But I'm not gonna go on a stupid booze cruise,"
Workaholics (2011)
"'cause that... Ow!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Ow!"
Workaholics (2011)
"You pushed it in my neck."
Workaholics (2011)
"You freaking little groundhog of a human being. Stupid."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Excuse me. - Are you okay?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- You're a monster. - What's your problem?"
Workaholics (2011)
"He really filled the hand there."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, man. Now I know why he was calling him the groundhog."
Workaholics (2011)
"We've got to get this guy a sale to get his confidence back up."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, how do we do that?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey, I heard there's buttered bread in here?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Is that true?"
Workaholics (2011)
""Do not open.""
Workaholics (2011)
"More like, "Do open.""
Workaholics (2011)
"(READING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, right."
Workaholics (2011)
"More like, "For Adam's eyes only.""
Workaholics (2011)
"(SIGHS)"
Workaholics (2011)
"(DIALING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"(PHONE RINGING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"(RINGING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Hello."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hello, may I please speak with a Mr. Blownoff?"
Workaholics (2011)
"ANDERS: This is he, and you can call me Dick."
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay, Mr. Blownoff."
Workaholics (2011)
"I am telling... I am talking to you today from my work, TelAmeriCorp."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey, are you sick of unblended foods? 'Cause it's..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Mmm. You know what?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Never mind. I suck at my job. And I suck at my life."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Goodbye forever. - Hang on."
Workaholics (2011)
"Listen, son, I don't bite. What are you selling?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Stupid freaking blenders."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, I'll take five."
Workaholics (2011)
"How 'bout that?"
Workaholics (2011)
"That's cool."
Workaholics (2011)
"I mean, honestly, if I'm being real with you,"
Workaholics (2011)
"I wouldn't buy anything from me, because one, I'm fat. Two, I'm stupid."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Three, I'm fat and stupid combined. - Listen, you don't sound fat to me."
Workaholics (2011)
"Maybe a little depressed, huh? And I've been there."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Really? - You know what I did?"
Workaholics (2011)
"I went on a booze cruise with my friends,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and I was totally cured."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Anyway, blenders... - Well, the blenders..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Actually, I take it back, what I said earlier."
Workaholics (2011)
"They're pretty cool. You can make juices."
Workaholics (2011)
"You can, like, blend up a boot."
Workaholics (2011)
"That's how sharp this thing is. That's how intense it is."
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, I actually have a boot here right now."
Workaholics (2011)
"Boop."
Workaholics (2011)
"(IMITATING BLENDER WHIRRING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, my gosh, the boot, it's blending so well."
Workaholics (2011)
"(IMITATING BLENDER WHIRRING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"That's funny."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, looks like it'll get to you Tuesday."
Workaholics (2011)
"And I just want to say thank you."
Workaholics (2011)
"You are a great man, Mr. Dick Blownoff."
Workaholics (2011)
"And you are a good goddamned salesman."
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and put you down for two blenders."
Workaholics (2011)
"That is a kitchen blender and a basement blender."
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, wait, this just came in from upstairs. That's not $68.99."
Workaholics (2011)
"It is $49.99."
Workaholics (2011)
"Can I go ahead and close you with that number?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Very good."
Workaholics (2011)
"Selling, selling, selling, selling, selling, selling."
Workaholics (2011)
"Dude, I am so pumped for this booze cruise."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm a, like, celebrate next month's future Top Gun victory."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yes, I'm just excited to see you happy again. Like, Sadam is dead."
Workaholics (2011)
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Who's Sadam?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Saddam. Saddam Hussein died."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Really? - Yeah, they got him."
Workaholics (2011)
"- They got him. USA all the way. - Thank God."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, we didn't get him, but those guys who were out there fighting in the desert."
Workaholics (2011)
"Freaking SEAL team. That's cool, man."
Workaholics (2011)
"At least The Interview can come out now."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Totally. - I’ve been waiting for that."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Absolutely. - ADAM: It's, like, I'm a Francophile."
Workaholics (2011)
"- That dude, he's the truth. - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"I was thinking, that movie, like, 96 Hours or something like that?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- ANDERS: Yeah. - What if it was 69 Hours?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- (LAUGHS) - Ah, that would be way funnier."
Workaholics (2011)
"If it's, like, 69, and he got his dick caught between the rocks,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and he's like, does he chew his dick off?"
Workaholics (2011)
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