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Clips from Troop Beverly Hills

"I will always try my best to be honest and fair,"
Troop Beverly Hills
"to be helpful and friendly,"
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"to be a good citizen, a good neighbor, a good friend,"
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"and a sister to every Wilderness Girl."
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"Girls, about face!"
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"The first order of business is the Beverly Hills troop."
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"Well, you know, they've never earned any patches."
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"They've never even sold a single cookie."
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"We all know they've had more leaders than a banana republic."
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"Their membership is down to only eight."
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"So it's agreed then."
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"We stop mollycoddling those little princesses,"
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"and we flush that troop down the old proverbial dumper."
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"Now, Velda, as long as they are girls who want to belong,"
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"it's our job to see that they're not denied the privilege."
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"Let's give them one last chance."
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"Now, about a new leader, I understand we have an applicant."
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"Herman. File, file."
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"Yes, sir... Ma'am."
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"Name, Phyllis Nefler."
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"Age..."
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"Says here "not applicable.""
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"Marital status,"
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""shaky?"
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"Interests, "community affairs.""
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"Dr. Jerry Honigman is definitely boffing the blond and the English tutor."
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"Is that the one with the tummy tuck?"
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"And the daughter."
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"No."
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"This one and this one."
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"Out. I'll take the rest."
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"Prides herself on being honest, resourceful, and thrifty."
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"- How much? -$5,600."
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"You know, it's missing a bead."
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"It is?"
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"I can let you have it for $5,000."
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"- I'll take it. - Great."
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"She loves animals."
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"I'm gonna kiss you."
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"I'm gonna kiss you, froggy, and turn you into a handsome prince."
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"This woman sounds like she's got Wilderness Girl written all over her."
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"Approved."
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"Hi ho!"
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"Ohio!"
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"Hey, your hat is fabulous Mrs. Nefler."
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"- Thank you. So is yours. - Hey, thanks."
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"Rosa! Rosa!"
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"Keep talking, honey, so I can move toward the sound of your voice."
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"Here I am. Yeah, come... Keep... I'm here."
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"Come. Come. I got it. I got it."
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"I started my new meaningful life today,"
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"and I bought a whole new meaningful wardrobe to go with it."
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"I can hardly wait to see the look on Freddy's face when he gets the bill."
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"And you know the beauty of it?"
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"He won't even the get the bill until after we're divorced."
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"Have your fun now, Phyllis,"
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"'cause after the divorce is final, you're going to be shopping at Pick 'n Save."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Before we were separated, you were never around."
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"You're supposed to be in the guesthouse."
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"Everything north of the lawn jockey is mine."
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"- Yeah? - Yeah."
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"Come on. I can come here anytime I want to."
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"Yeah. It's still my house, you know."
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"And right now, I am gonna go upstairs,"
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"I'm gonna get my barbell, and I'm gonna get the rest of my clothes."
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"Touch anything in this house, and I'll call my lawyer."
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"I can touch anything I want."
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"I paid for it all."
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"Now isn't that a mature approach to a relationship?"
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"Freddy, did it ever occur to you that marriage is a partnership?"
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"- Yeah, that's right. - Yeah."
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"I earn the money, and my partner, she spends it."
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"Typical, that is so typical."
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"And don't you mock me while I'm talking to you!"
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"You never acknowledge my contribution to this marriage."
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"- Your contribution? - Yes!"
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"Phyllis, if you contributed any more to this marriage, we would be on welfare!"
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"Hello, Hannah. You remember your father, the Big Bad Wolf?"
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"- Hi, Peaches. - Hi, Daddy."
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"What are you picking up this time?"
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"- My dumbbells. - Be my guest."
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"The fewer dumbbells in my life, the better."
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"I've got a great idea. Why don't you two just kiss and make up?"
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"Then I won't end up in therapy twice a week like Tessa."
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"Honey, you're gonna be less neurotic"
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"if your parents are happily divorced rather than unhappily married."
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"- Thank you, Phil Donahue. - I saw it on Oprah."
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"Cool it. You're acting so immature."
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"Mom, a lady called about an orientation meeting."
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"It's Thursday."
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"You are gonna go through with this, aren't you?"
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"Of course, I am."
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"Go through with what?"
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"Just a little mother-daughter bonding thing."
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"Mom's going to be our new troop leader."
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"What's so funny?"
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"Well, I mean, it's hysterical."
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"You don't have any skills. You hate the outdoors."
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"Besides, you never finished anything you ever started."
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"- What about the PTA? - You quit!"
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"Well, that was just because it conflicted with Save the Whales."
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"Then what happened?"
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"Well, I thought Hands Across America was more important."
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"Well, I rest my case!"
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"You'll be lucky if you last a couple of weeks."
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"I'm going to be a great Troop Leader."
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"And I'll be spending more time with Hannah."
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"What? And neglect Rodeo Drive?"
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"Don't criticize my mothering, Mr. Workaholic."
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"You're hardly father of the year."
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"Rosa, will you stop crying?"
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"Who's getting the divorce here, you or me?"
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"I don't want you two to split up."
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"See, there, I told you not to mention divorce in front of Rosa."
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"She's helping me pack!"
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"What's happened to us, Fred?"
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"What's this really about?"
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"Is there another woman?"
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"Well, yeah, there is."
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