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Clips from Family Guy - An App a Day (S14E14)

"but the law says that, as a sex offender,"
Family Guy
"you have to complete a rehabilitation course."
Family Guy
"Oh, that sounds awful."
Family Guy
"Eh, can't be any worse than our trip to Hawaii."
Family Guy
"Okay, before you do anything else,"
Family Guy
"I'm deathly allergic to pineapple, pork,"
Family Guy
"rum, macadamia nuts,"
Family Guy
"stupid tiny guitars, overpriced golf,"
Family Guy
"sentimental military stuff, lava,"
Family Guy
"people who I can't tell are black or Asian,"
Family Guy
"apostrophes, anyone twirling flames,"
Family Guy
"second weddings and linen pants."
Family Guy
"Is there anything you're not allergic to?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, the Epcot Center."
Family Guy
"Where I wanted to go."
Family Guy
"Good evening, I'm Glenn Quagmire, your instructor."
Family Guy
"Everyone look to your left."
Family Guy
"Now look to your right."
Family Guy
"All of you are sex offenders,"
Family Guy
"and statistically you will all be here again."
Family Guy
"Because this has never worked in the history of doing this."
Family Guy
"Now, today, we have a new member-- giggity-- Chris G."
Family Guy
"Hi, Chris."
Family Guy
"All right, before we begin,"
Family Guy
"whoever's driving a windowless van"
Family Guy
"painted like an ice cream truck, your lights are on."
Family Guy
"Okay, next, let's take a few minutes"
Family Guy
"to talk about our new, fake interests."
Family Guy
"Here's a clay pot I made."
Family Guy
"I've started following girls' field hockey."
Family Guy
"No, come on."
Family Guy
"You're supposed to pick from the list."
Family Guy
"Mr. Quagmire, this is terrible."
Family Guy
"And do I really have to be here?"
Family Guy
"Well, the law does give you a choice."
Family Guy
"This or chemical castration."
Family Guy
"What's that? You take a ton of pills"
Family Guy
"that completely wipe out all sexuality."
Family Guy
"Oh, is that what Michael Moore did?"
Family Guy
"No, but I understand why you'd think that."
Family Guy
"Now, do you want to see the list?"
Family Guy
"I could take a whack at hand-distressing furniture."
Family Guy
"We don't say whack."
Family Guy
"Very good, Stewie."
Family Guy
"You grunt like a Hungarian lesbian."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Dimitri."
Family Guy
"And, uh, your testicle's hanging out of your shorts again."
Family Guy
"I am cooling it."
Family Guy
"But where is this partner of yours?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. He was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago."
Family Guy
"You're right."
Family Guy
"So, anyway, my ex said,"
Family Guy
"If you bring home one more tennis trophy,"
Family Guy
"I am out of here."
Family Guy
"Well, she was gone in two days."
Family Guy
"Oh, Brian."
Family Guy
"O'Brien? That's my Irish cousin."
Family Guy
"What are you doing?!"
Family Guy
"We're supposed to be practicing for the tournament."
Family Guy
"Stewie, relax. I promise we'll practice,"
Family Guy
"but we just ordered bisque."
Family Guy
"How are you paying for that?"
Family Guy
"Well, if you must know,"
Family Guy
"we're putting it on Philippa's husband's account."
Family Guy
"Does Burt know about this?"
Family Guy
"He would if he wasn't working all the time."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Brian."
Family Guy
"Now, come on, let's have more hard liquor and creamy soups."
Family Guy
"Ugh."
Family Guy
"Meg, can you hand me the paper plates?"
Family Guy
"I can't believe we're having an ice cream cake"
Family Guy
"to celebrate Chris graduating from sex offender school."
Family Guy
"Well, the opportunities to celebrate"
Family Guy
"don't come often in this household."
Family Guy
"There he is, Mr. Former Sex Offender."
Family Guy
"Mom, it's not that big a deal."
Family Guy
"All I did was finish those creepy classes."
Family Guy
"I know, but now your record is clear."
Family Guy
"You can go back to being a normal boy"
Family Guy
"and put all this behind you."
Family Guy
"Hey, Chris, wait till you see the funny thing"
Family Guy
"I had 'em put on your cake."
Family Guy
"Happy sixth birthday, Timmy?"
Family Guy
"Uh-oh, they must have mixed them up."
Family Guy
"Nice crank, you dirty little bastard?"
Family Guy
"Sorry, I'll take that."
Family Guy
"Here's your cake. I ate a great deal of it."
Family Guy
"Oh, there you are."
Family Guy
"How was your first day out of rehab?"
Family Guy
"It was terrible."
Family Guy
"Taking that class made no difference."
Family Guy
"Nobody wants anything to do with me."
Family Guy
"Hi, Mr. Herbert."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"Children, run!"
Family Guy
"It's that pervert!"
Family Guy
"Everybody into my safety basement!"
Family Guy
"Oh! Oh, that was a bad snap."
Family Guy
"I'm hurt, kids!"
Family Guy
"Don't eat those popsicles till I get down there!"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm glad we're finally getting some practice in."
Family Guy
"Yeah, nothing like running around"
Family Guy
"after eating a seafood tower."
Family Guy
"What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"You're supposed to be at the baseline."
Family Guy
"Yeah, baseline, baseline."
Family Guy
"Right, right. He's serving to you."
Family Guy
"Get back there!"
Family Guy
"You've never played tennis, have you?"
Family Guy
"Not once. Damn it, Brian!"
Family Guy
"I entered us in that tournament"
Family Guy
"because you said you could play!"
Family Guy
"And I will not be humiliated"
Family Guy
"in front of shallow, rich alcoholics!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Chris."
Family Guy
"I see you walked across the grass again"
Family Guy
"instead of using the walk."
Family Guy
"You're really wearing a path, aren't you?"
Family Guy
"We call that Chris's Trail."
Family Guy
"Right there."
Family Guy
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