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Clips from The Great North - My Fart Will Go On Adventure (S01E01)

"Frickin' nards. Nards so hard."
The Great North
"And Honeybee's family is coming."
The Great North
"(gasps) They're probably perfect like her."
The Great North
"-What are we gonna do? -Honeybee can't find out."
The Great North
"Uh, the last thing I want is her worrying about this"
The Great North
"on our wedding day. We can't tell Dad."
The Great North
"He's come so far since Mom left."
The Great North
"Also, Ham and Moon might not be able to take"
The Great North
"the emotional turmoil of seeing our crap-tastic mom"
The Great North
"after all this time."
The Great North
"It's official: we cannot tell anyone"
The Great North
"Mom is maybe coming to the wedding!"
The Great North
"-What? -Mom's coming to the wedding?"
The Great North
"One Flew Over the Poo Poo's Nest."
The Great North
"We are so bad at secrets."
The Great North
"Okay, gang,"
The Great North
"thanks for meeting me in the panic room"
The Great North
"so Dad wouldn't find us. Judy?"
The Great North
"Okay, we need to figure out if Mom's actually coming"
The Great North
"because all of our careful wedding planning is at risk."
The Great North
"(exhales) All right, pull up Mom's blog."
The Great North
"(gasps) That's a picture of Mom's wedding dress."
The Great North
"-Why does it say "MBA" on it? -"Male Body Admirer.""
The Great North
"It's in pretty good shape considering it's edible."
The Great North
"Oh, man. And she laid it out on a bed."
The Great North
"That's what women in movies do with outfits"
The Great North
"they're gonna wear for big events."
The Great North
"Oh, look, a "contact us" number."
The Great North
"-(line beeps) -And it's disconnected."
The Great North
"Okay, so she must have a new burner phone."
The Great North
"Oh, my God, and there's no way to get ahold of her."
The Great North
"Oh, God, I'm freaking out. Oh, she's gonna ruin my wedding."
The Great North
"I'm not gonna get married. (shrieks)"
The Great North
"Wolf, this doesn't mean she'll show up, okay?"
The Great North
"You know what she's like. She's a flake."
The Great North
"She would've missed my birth if it was medically possible."
The Great North
"Let's just sign your phone up to get blog updates"
The Great North
"so we can track her movements, eh?"
The Great North
"You're right, yeah, you're right."
The Great North
"The next blog update will probably be her at Hersheypark"
The Great North
"pretending to take a dump in the chocolate fountain."
The Great North
"Uh-huh. And in the meantime,"
The Great North
"let me just add, we do not talk about this."
The Great North
"Because if Dad finds out,"
The Great North
"he'll explode and melt down at the same time."
The Great North
"And it's gonna be like... (imitates explosion)"
The Great North
"(babbling)"
The Great North
"And his eye will start doing that tight twitchy thing."
The Great North
"-(all shout) -Hey!"
The Great North
"Oh, there you kids are."
The Great North
"Hey, uh, Dad. Uh, y-yeah."
The Great North
"We were just, uh, reading the whole Internet"
The Great North
"in the panic room as a family, but, uh, we're all finished."
The Great North
"Wow, that is impressive."
The Great North
"It seems like every day there's a new AltaVista page."
The Great North
"Anyways, I'm working on my wedding outfit."
The Great North
"I sewed a collar onto this novelty tuxedo T-shirt."
The Great North
"Can you tell it's not a real tuxedo?"
The Great North
"I can't. Oh, if I wasn't already marrying Honeybee, I'd propose."
The Great North
"Okay, so your name is Victor Garber,"
The Great North
"but you are not the actor Victor Garber"
The Great North
"from the movie Titanic."
The Great North
"Oh, you're in second grade? Okay."
The Great North
"No, I agree, math is hard."
The Great North
"Yeah, I like trains. Okay, I'm gonna go now, Victor."
The Great North
"Mm-hmm, I love you, too."
The Great North
"ALYSON: You know, Billy Zane"
The Great North
"gave me mouth-to-mouth once"
The Great North
"when I choked on a dried apricot at a jazz festival."
The Great North
"-Uh... -Judy, that story at least deserved a "Wow.""
The Great North
"What's bugging you?"
The Great North
"I think my mom is coming to town,"
The Great North
"which is terrible, for so many reasons."
The Great North
"Most especially that she'll ruin Wolf's wedding."
The Great North
"What I really wish is that there was a way"
The Great North
"we could just move the whole town."
The Great North
"But it's like, I don't know, do you think"
The Great North
"people would be up for that?"
The Great North
"Or you could just have a shadow wedding."
The Great North
"Is that where two shadows get married?"
The Great North
"(gasps) I love it, it's gorgeous."
The Great North
"Ugh, and then I'm thinking about it,"
The Great North
"I'm just not sure how it would help."
The Great North
"Oh, Judy. So much to learn from me."
The Great North
"A shadow wedding, or really any shadow event,"
The Great North
"takes place at the same time as the actual event,"
The Great North
"but, key difference, it's for all the people"
The Great North
"you don't want at the actual event."
The Great North
"Hmm. Go on."
The Great North
"I will. I myself have been shadowed"
The Great North
"on multiple occasions, and it's very effective."
The Great North
"I honestly don't know if I've ever met the real version"
The Great North
"of my ten-year-old nephew Jandon."
The Great North
"Well, if it would protect Wolf's wedding,"
The Great North
"it's definitely worth considering."
The Great North
"Oh, Judy, everything's worth considering."
The Great North
"Even that grown man with bare feet riding"
The Great North
"-the children's carousel. -(soft music playing)"
The Great North
"He's a pass for me right now, but who knows about the future?"
The Great North
"And that's a shadow wedding. Any questions?"
The Great North
"Sounds insane. I'm in."
The Great North
"Hey, we're gonna have to work overtime to protect Dad"
The Great North
"and my queen-bee-to-be from Mom."
The Great North
"Luckily, Honeybee's been so busy with wedding stuff,"
The Great North
"she hasn't suspected anything weird yet."
The Great North
"And that's how we'll keep it. But under no circumstances"
The Great North
"can Dad find out that Mom is probably on her way here"
The Great North
"to ruin the wedding and stomp all over his heart."
The Great North
"-What? -Not again."
The Great North
"Sisterhood of the Traveling Turds!"
The Great North
"Kathleen."
The Great North
"(Beef moaning)"
The Great North
"It's the silence between the moans that's most distressing."
The Great North
"Hello, children."
The Great North
"I was just taking a nap, but I am fine now."
The Great North
"I've pushed all the other naps I want to take deep down"
The Great North
"so they won't ruin Wolf's upcoming wedding."
The Great North
"Great, because the wedding train is leaving in 48 hours,"
The Great North
"and I need my dad on my caboose."
The Great North
"-Choo choo, son. -(phone vibrates)"
The Great North
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