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Clips from Seinfeld - Good News, Bad News (S01E01)

"Watch what you say to this guy. He'll put it in his next act."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, yeah. - Jerry, did I tell you..."
Seinfeld
"...that I'm writing a book, an autobiography?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you mentioned it."
Seinfeld
"It's based on all my experiences."
Seinfeld
"That's perfect."
Seinfeld
"- Could you excuse me one second? - Sure."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. - Sure."
Seinfeld
"How do you do? Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"Oh, how do you do? Elaine Benes."
Seinfeld
"You want to do this now, or you wanna wait?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, let's do it now."
Seinfeld
"The whole elevator business, let me just explain."
Seinfeld
"- Okay. - Jerry, are you going with us?"
Seinfeld
"- No, I'm gonna take my car. - That's why I brought the wagon."
Seinfeld
"Why the hell did I bring the wagon?"
Seinfeld
"Anyway, you know why I didn't ask you?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, I felt so uncomfortable, and you were so annoyed in the cab."
Seinfeld
"Well, Jerry, I never saw you flirt with anyone before."
Seinfeld
"It was quite the spectacle."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, we'll see you there. Bye, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Oh, bye. Good to see you."
Seinfeld
"Oh, we didn't meet."
Seinfeld
"Sorry. Elaine, this is my cousin, Artie Levine."
Seinfeld
"- Levine. - Artie."
Seinfeld
"Artie! Come on."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, Levine."
Seinfeld
"And I'm Jerry Cougar Mellencamp."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, I admit it was a fairly ridiculous thing to do..."
Seinfeld
"...but I mean, obviously we have a little problem here."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, obviously."
Seinfeld
"If we're gonna be friends, we gotta be able to talk about other people."
Seinfeld
"- Couldn't agree more. - Good."
Seinfeld
"- Good. - Good."
Seinfeld
"Great."
Seinfeld
"Great? Where do you get great?"
Seinfeld
"It's great to talk about..."
Seinfeld
"...other people. - Guys."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, anybody specific?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- A general guy. - Oh, really?"
Seinfeld
"- Elaine Marie Benes. - What?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's not a big deal."
Seinfeld
"No, that's great. That's terrific."
Seinfeld
"- No, we just met. - Doesn't matter."
Seinfeld
"What's the young man's name? I would like to meet him."
Seinfeld
"I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"Well, what does he do? Is he an artisan..."
Seinfeld
"...a craftsman, a labourer of some sort?"
Seinfeld
"- Wall Street. - High finance."
Seinfeld
"Bulls, bears, people from Connecticut."
Seinfeld
"And he happens to be pretty good-looking."
Seinfeld
"All right, sir."
Seinfeld
"And he's hilarious."
Seinfeld
"- Now that's not fair. - You know."
Seinfeld
"So where did you meet this guy?"
Seinfeld
"I staked out his health club."
Seinfeld
"When you're on a stakeout..."
Seinfeld
"...do you find it's better to stand up against the wall..."
Seinfeld
"...or kind of crouch down behind a big plant?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I think that..."
Seinfeld
"...even if you've had a relationship with someone..."
Seinfeld
"...or, let's say, especially if you've had a relationship with someone..."
Seinfeld
"...and you try and become friends afterwards..."
Seinfeld
"...it's very difficult. Isn't this?"
Seinfeld
"It's hard because you know each other so well."
Seinfeld
"You know? You know all each other's tricks."
Seinfeld
"It's like two magicians trying to entertain each other."
Seinfeld
"You know, one goes, Look, a rabbit. The other goes, So?"
Seinfeld
"I believe that's your card."
Seinfeld