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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Spelling Bee is Rigged/Dakota's Dad (S01E01)

"- Honestly, it sounds like the trip of a lifetime."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You need to bring him along."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- If he gets hurt, then we're liable."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If--if he kills someone, we're liable--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Great, it's decided."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm gonna clear it with Tom's mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Plus, Brad, your friends all teach at his school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I just say one thing? - No."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- One thing, I just want to-- - Brad,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't wanna hear it. - [grumbles]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, Tom. Tom's mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, Dakota's dad."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Thanks so much for including Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's excited. - It was my wife's idea."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You know, he doesn't have to go even."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh no, I'm looking forward to it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can't wait. - Do you have"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"any questions or concerns? I mean, there's gonna be"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a lot of drinking-- hard alcohol and whatnot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No. - He'll be exposed to"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"rough language and open sewage and..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Zero--is there a number I can reach you at?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ooh, unfortunately, there's no cell service up there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We'll be completely off the grid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mm, well..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"sometimes you gotta let your kid"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"off the grid, right, Tom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What? - I don't get the house"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to myself a ton, so I'm excited."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, it's your child's funeral."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, just get in the car, then,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if you're so hellbent on going."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We're running late, so..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Give yourself another chance, my darling ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Don't be satisfied with second best ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom's in the house. - Ah, what the shit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry, guys, Tom's joining us this year."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Doesn't this ruin the whole trip?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not the warmest welcome. - It sucks."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I tried to stop it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Anyway, let's get started here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I need to just borrow some fishing equipment,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and boots, and a hat, and a pole."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, no one's doing any fishing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I mean, this is mostly about booze and grab-ass."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Brad, please!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Your wife didn't mention any of that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, well, she's on a need-to-know basis."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And Tom, on this trip you can call me "Double D.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, for "Dakota's Dad"? - Sure."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's not because I like big boobs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Big boobs, what does that have to do with Double D?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, what you are about to witness this weekend"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"stays in the group, never to be discussed"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"outside of this inner sanctum of masculinity."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I feel like the trip's taking a weird turn."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's called Bro Code, because guys don't rat on guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now let's make a pact by urinating in a circle."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What? - Oh, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, man. - No."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whip 'em out, guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Who's in the mood for some tunes?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, I guess. - I guess so."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is a little song I wrote"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"called "My Wife Just Doesn't Get It.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Here we go. - ♪ My wife ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Just doesn't get it ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ A pain inside my butt, yeah ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Her mouth will never shut, no, no ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Weird subject matter, but--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, Tom, I don't want you to let how you see me here"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"affect the way you view me as a principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, it's Bro Code. This all stays here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And, look, he's the one doing all the nasty stuff."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We just come here to relax and have a few beers."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, he seems like he's working through some issues."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, T, sing along! - All right, Brad, please stop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're giving me a headache."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, whatever. Eff this thing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"No one appreciates my music anyway."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[grunts] - Wow."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, come on, calm down, it's not the--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We need to take this party up a notch, huh?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I refuse to let a certain someone ruin my big weekend."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's talking about me or his wife?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, do me a favor, bro."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I need your little feet to run up there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Grab me some booze,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Cool Ranch Doritos, and a couple rubbers."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Brad, come on. - He's a big kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He knows what's what, right, T?-"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What are they? What am I looking for?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They're like, um, they're like sweaters for your penis."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It does--it really does get chilly up here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, let me go grab 'em."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, while we wait, can one of you idiots"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"jump in the lake and get my guitar?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I need to go drop a deuce."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why are we still friends with him?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't--you know what, I think that all the time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't know why."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Booze, Doritos, penis sweaters."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All right, good to go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um, hello? Am I in the right place?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm looking for DD. - Oh!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, Dakota's Dad. He's down by the lake"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"singing a song about his wife."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ugh, figures."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What are you doing? Can you stand?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're adorable."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I gotta get back with the booze, but--oh, no--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, no, don't lay down. What are you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm just exhausted. It's just a factory."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's always, Rhonda, blow this, Rhonda, yank that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Twelve dongs a day, that's too many dongs!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It sounds like a very rough job,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I don't have time to chat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Should be three dongs a day. - Please stop saying dong."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This trip is much filthier than I was expecting."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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