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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Spelling Bee is Rigged/Dakota's Dad (S01E01)

"- Yeah? - Let's do something wholesome."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sounds weird, but what do you want to do?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's make s'mores."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's the first good idea I've heard."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That sounds great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I know! Let's divvy up the work."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You make the s'mores and get the fire going."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm just gonna crash on the couch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's divvying up, or that's me doing it all?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [snoring]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This one is called"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""Why Does My Wife Insist on Belittling Me in Public?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You need to work on a couple of these song titles."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Why ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Does my wife ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Insist on belittling me ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ In front of our friends ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How many times are you gonna say "wife" in a song?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- She's not singing songs about him, I guarantee it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ In a public place, I'm a big disgrace ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[indistinct chatter on television]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Rhonda, the fire's not starting."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rhonda, can you wake up?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The lighter fluid says keep away from children."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can you just give it a quick squirt?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [snoring]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I have to do everything on this trip."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, no! Oh, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rhonda, please. Flames."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come on, for God's sake. How tired can you possibly be?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't panic, Tom. How do you work this thing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[line trilling]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Brad? - Oh, 911?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I thought cell phones didn't work up there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota's mom? - Tom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The cabin's kind of on fire."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thomas, what are you talking about?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The lady friend's purse is on fire."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, Thomas, slow down."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Where are you? - I can't tell you where I am."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Where's my husband?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Unfortunately, I can't divulge that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What does that even mean? - It's a code."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We pissed in a circle. - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, we're going to burn down."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I've already said too much."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm getting in the car. I'll be there in 40 minutes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't come. - Oh, my God,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I can't find my car keys. - Goodbye."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rhonda, no job is that exhausting."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[siren whoops] - Okay, folks, fire's out."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Looks like it started in the fireplace,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"then some pervert for some reason had a shitload"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"of rubbers in the pantry. Those lit up like tinder."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You know, those are good for fucking, bad for fires."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Just a little fire tip there for you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, you folks be safe now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, I want the truth."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What exactly happened here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know, just hanging out. Fishing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, I caught a bass."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, you guys are useless."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom. - Me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I need to know what exactly happened."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, well, from what I know..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"the guys were fishing and singing some fun songs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah? - And Rhonda took a nap--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who the hell is Rhonda?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- She's with my dad's catering company."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What's up? - She's in charge of the meat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Is that a job at a catering company?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? I'm tired of this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, you're back on my list."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Back on the list? No."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And, Bradley, you're driving yourself home."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[pop music on radio]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, I'm proud of you, Tom. - Thank you, Double D."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Being a man isn't about fishing or camaraderie."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's about lying. And you seem like a natural."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you, Double D. - When you're old enough,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you should join us on the trip."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think I got my fill. - I'm with Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'll just go ahead and pass too."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You can count me out. - Yeah, we've been meaning"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to say something for, like, ten years now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We--we really don't like you, Brad."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow. That's a lot to take in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Reminds me of a song I've been working on actually."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, sh-- - [groans]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ My friends, they all are pussies ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And they don't know how to party ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Yeah, they don't know ♪ - This is the worst one yet."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't want to be in one of his songs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- At least his wife ain't in it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ My friends, they all are pussies ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ No, they can't keep up with me ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ No, they can't keep up with me ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Such a damn tragedy ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I should really go home or check-in or something."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is really pushing the limits."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Remember there's more road ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And places to go ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ More people to fornicate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And remember there's a lot of good omens ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Supplying the proof ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ That our life is the best joke ever told ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Remember it's a joke and leave it alone ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Let go and try to be always abiding ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Remember if there's one good reason for dying ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The sweet silver lining ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Through you she lives on ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's got nine other songs about his wife; it's crazy."
10-Year-Old-Tom