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Clips from Cheers - The Mail Goes to Jail (S03E03)

IT'S WARMER UP IN THE MOUNTAINS,

"IT'S WARMER UP IN THE MOUNTAINS,"

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AND WE WERE AU NATURAL.

"AND WE WERE AU NATURAL."

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HEY, COACH, DID YOU CHECK THE FURNACE?

"HEY, COACH, DID YOU CHECK THE FURNACE?"

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IT'S NOT THE FURNACE. IT'S THAT DAMN VENT.

"IT'S NOT THE FURNACE. IT'S THAT DAMN VENT."

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I CALLED A REPAIRMAN, AN OLD BUDDY OF MINE.

"I CALLED A REPAIRMAN, AN OLD BUDDY OF MINE."

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HE'S ON HIS WAY OVER.

"HE'S ON HIS WAY OVER."

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OH, GOSH, WELL, BAMBI, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S UP TO YOU AND ME

"OH, GOSH, WELL, BAMBI, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S UP TO YOU AND ME"

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TO GENERATE A LITTLE HEAT FOR THESE FOLKS.

"TO GENERATE A LITTLE HEAT FOR THESE FOLKS."

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DON'T BOTHER.

"DON'T BOTHER."

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WE'LL JUST HUDDLE AROUND A THREE-WATT LIGHT BULB.

"WE'LL JUST HUDDLE AROUND A THREE-WATT LIGHT BULB."

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FEISTY LITTLE BARMAID.

"FEISTY LITTLE BARMAID."

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I TOOK HER IN OFF THE STREETS.

"I TOOK HER IN OFF THE STREETS."

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SHE'S CRUDE, BUT DEVOTED.

"SHE'S CRUDE, BUT DEVOTED."

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YOU KNOW, I HAD A TERRIFIC TIME. THANK YOU.

"YOU KNOW, I HAD A TERRIFIC TIME. THANK YOU."

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THANK YOU, SAM.

"THANK YOU, SAM."

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IT WAS THE BEST SKI TRIP I EVER HAD.

"IT WAS THE BEST SKI TRIP I EVER HAD."

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YEAH. ME, TOO.

"YEAH. ME, TOO."

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DID YOU FIND ANY TIME FOR SKIING?

"DID YOU FIND ANY TIME FOR SKIING?"

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NO, DARN IT! YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY STOLE OUR SKIS.

"NO, DARN IT! YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY STOLE OUR SKIS."

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WE HAD TO SPEND THE WEEKEND IN THE LODGE.

"WE HAD TO SPEND THE WEEKEND IN THE LODGE."

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THAT'S TOO BAD.

"THAT'S TOO BAD."

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YEAH, BUT WHEN WE WERE LEAVING THIS MORNING,

"YEAH, BUT WHEN WE WERE LEAVING THIS MORNING,"

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THEY TURNED UP IN THE RACK ON THE ROOF OF SAM'S CAR.

"THEY TURNED UP IN THE RACK ON THE ROOF OF SAM'S CAR."

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YEAH. SOME KIDS MUST'VE STOLEN THEM FOR JOY-SKIING.

"YEAH. SOME KIDS MUST'VE STOLEN THEM FOR JOY-SKIING."

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DISRESPECTFUL PUNKS.

"DISRESPECTFUL PUNKS."

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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WELL, I GOT TO GET GOING. I HAVE TO BE AT B.U. IN HALF AN HOUR.

"WELL, I GOT TO GET GOING. I HAVE TO BE AT B.U. IN HALF AN HOUR."

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OK. B.U.? THAT'S BOSTON UNIVERSITY, ISN'T IT?

"OK. B.U.? THAT'S BOSTON UNIVERSITY, ISN'T IT?"

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UH-HUH. THAT'S RIGHT.

"UH-HUH. THAT'S RIGHT."

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YEAH, WHERE ALL THE SMART TYPES HANG OUT.

"YEAH, WHERE ALL THE SMART TYPES HANG OUT."

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WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING THERE?

"WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING THERE?"

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I'M NOT STUDYING ANYTHING.

"I'M NOT STUDYING ANYTHING."

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I'M GOING TO BE PART OF A FRATERNITY STUNT.

"I'M GOING TO BE PART OF A FRATERNITY STUNT."

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YEAH, SHE'S, UH...

"YEAH, SHE'S, UH..."

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SHE'S TUTORING SOME OF THE BOYS.

"SHE'S TUTORING SOME OF THE BOYS."

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WELL, IN A WAY.

"WELL, IN A WAY."

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SAM.

"I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SAM."

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YEAH, YOU TAKE CARE.

"YEAH, YOU TAKE CARE."

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OH, BOY.

"OH, BOY."

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WELL, I GUESS I BETTER TAKE A LOOK AT THIS AIR DUCT.

"WELL, I GUESS I BETTER TAKE A LOOK AT THIS AIR DUCT."

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SOMETIMES THE PROBLEM'S RIGHT HERE.

"SOMETIMES THE PROBLEM'S RIGHT HERE."

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BAMBI?

"BAMBI?"

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YEAH. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

"YEAH. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?"

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OH, I SUPPOSE IT'S BETTER THAN DUMBO OR GOOFY.

"OH, I SUPPOSE IT'S BETTER THAN DUMBO OR GOOFY."

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NOT AS APPROPRIATE, BUT...

"NOT AS APPROPRIATE, BUT..."

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COACH, CAN I HAVE MY FLASHLIGHT, PLEASE?

"COACH, CAN I HAVE MY FLASHLIGHT, PLEASE?"

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YOU KNOW, SAM...

"YOU KNOW, SAM..."

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I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICING

"I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICING"

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THAT BAMBI WASN'T THE SAME LITTLE DEER

"THAT BAMBI WASN'T THE SAME LITTLE DEER"

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THAT YOU LEFT HERE WITH ON FRIDAY.

"THAT YOU LEFT HERE WITH ON FRIDAY."

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NO, I GOT RID OF CINDY.

"NO, I GOT RID OF CINDY."

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WE WEREN'T COMPATIBLE.

"WE WEREN'T COMPATIBLE."

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REALLY? WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM THERE?

"REALLY? WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM THERE?"

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SHE WAS DUMB AS A POST.

"SHE WAS DUMB AS A POST."

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OH.

"OH."

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WITH SO MUCH IN COMMON,

"WITH SO MUCH IN COMMON,"

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I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU TWO WENT AWRY.

"I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU TWO WENT AWRY."

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NO, I'M SERIOUS.

"NO, I'M SERIOUS."

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I MEAN, SHE JUST WASN'T MY INTELLECTUAL EQUAL.

"I MEAN, SHE JUST WASN'T MY INTELLECTUAL EQUAL."

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YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME"

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YOU WERE LOOKING FOR YOUR INTELLECTUAL EQUAL.

"YOU WERE LOOKING FOR YOUR INTELLECTUAL EQUAL."

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I COULD INTRODUCE YOU

"I COULD INTRODUCE YOU"

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TO SOMETHING THAT'S GROWING ON MY SHOWER CURTAIN.

"TO SOMETHING THAT'S GROWING ON MY SHOWER CURTAIN."

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WELL, THANK YOU, DIANE.

"WELL, THANK YOU, DIANE."

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BUT I THINK I'LL WAIT AND SEE HOW BAMBI WORKS OUT.

"BUT I THINK I'LL WAIT AND SEE HOW BAMBI WORKS OUT."

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WELL, I GUESS I'VE DONE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING I KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE.

"WELL, I GUESS I'VE DONE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING I KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE."

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YOU SHINED A FLASHLIGHT ON IT.

"YOU SHINED A FLASHLIGHT ON IT."

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YEAH, IT USUALLY WORKS, TOO.

"YEAH, IT USUALLY WORKS, TOO."

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BOY, THIS ONE'S REALLY GOT ME STUMPED.

"BOY, THIS ONE'S REALLY GOT ME STUMPED."

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COULD SOMEBODY GO TO MELVILLE'S

"COULD SOMEBODY GO TO MELVILLE'S"

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AND GET ME A LITTLE MORE SOUP?

"AND GET ME A LITTLE MORE SOUP?"

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WHAT ABOUT YOU, LARRY?

"WHAT ABOUT YOU, LARRY?"

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YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING IMPORTANT THERE, ARE YOU?

"YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING IMPORTANT THERE, ARE YOU?"

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YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

"YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT."

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GOOD MAN.

"GOOD MAN."

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THANKS A LOT.

"THANKS A LOT."

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I SUPPOSE YOU WANT SOME CRACKERS?

"I SUPPOSE YOU WANT SOME CRACKERS?"

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THOSE LOW-SODIUM KIND, ALL RIGHT?

"THOSE LOW-SODIUM KIND, ALL RIGHT?"

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WHAT'S HE DOING IN MY OFFICE?

"WHAT'S HE DOING IN MY OFFICE?"

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SAM, THE GUY IS SICK AS A DOG.

"SAM, THE GUY IS SICK AS A DOG."

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ACTUALLY, COACH, I'M NOT SO BAD NOW.

"ACTUALLY, COACH, I'M NOT SO BAD NOW."

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I COULD PROBABLY SIT UP AT THE BAR THERE

"I COULD PROBABLY SIT UP AT THE BAR THERE"

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AND LET LARRY BRING DINNER DOWN TO ME.

"AND LET LARRY BRING DINNER DOWN TO ME."

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CLIFF CLAVIN?

"CLIFF CLAVIN?"

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YEAH, OFFICER. WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?

"YEAH, OFFICER. WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?"

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DO YOU KNOW A NORM PETERSON?

"DO YOU KNOW A NORM PETERSON?"

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YEAH. WHAT IS IT?

"YEAH. WHAT IS IT?"

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WE HAVE HIM DOWN AT THE STATION.

"WE HAVE HIM DOWN AT THE STATION."

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WE'VE ARRESTED HIM FOR MAIL THEFT.

"WE'VE ARRESTED HIM FOR MAIL THEFT."

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NO, NO, NO. YOU MADE A MISTAKE THERE.

"NO, NO, NO. YOU MADE A MISTAKE THERE."

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NO. THERE'S NO MISTAKE.

"NO. THERE'S NO MISTAKE."

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WE CAUGHT HIM RED-HANDED MESSING WITH THE MAILBOXES ON YOUR ROUTE.

"WE CAUGHT HIM RED-HANDED MESSING WITH THE MAILBOXES ON YOUR ROUTE."

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HE HAD A HANDFUL OF LETTERS.

"HE HAD A HANDFUL OF LETTERS."

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HE SAID HE WAS DELIVERING THEM FOR YOU.

"HE SAID HE WAS DELIVERING THEM FOR YOU."

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YEAH. I ASKED HIM TO. YOU ASKED HIM TO?

"YEAH. I ASKED HIM TO. YOU ASKED HIM TO?"

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WELL, YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB, FELLA.

"WELL, YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB, FELLA."

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WELL, EXCUSE ME, OFFICER.

"WELL, EXCUSE ME, OFFICER."

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YOU INTERRUPTED ME BEFORE I FINISHED.

"YOU INTERRUPTED ME BEFORE I FINISHED."

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SEE, I ASKED HIM TO QUIT FOLLOWING ME.

"SEE, I ASKED HIM TO QUIT FOLLOWING ME."

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I MEAN, THE GUY, I HAD HIM PEGGED AS A SOCIOPATH RIGHT AWAY.

"I MEAN, THE GUY, I HAD HIM PEGGED AS A SOCIOPATH RIGHT AWAY."

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HE'S A FRUSTRATED MAILMAN.

"HE'S A FRUSTRATED MAILMAN."

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WE CALL IT POSTAL ENVY.

"WE CALL IT POSTAL ENVY."

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SO, UH...

"SO, UH..."

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SO, ANYTHING SERIOUS GONNA HAPPEN TO THIS MAN?

"SO, ANYTHING SERIOUS GONNA HAPPEN TO THIS MAN?"

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NOT SERIOUS ENOUGH.

"NOT SERIOUS ENOUGH."

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YEAH, DAMMIT. I RUE THE DAY THEY OUTLAWED FLOGGING.

"YEAH, DAMMIT. I RUE THE DAY THEY OUTLAWED FLOGGING."

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BLEEDING THEIR EYE.

"BLEEDING THEIR EYE."

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OH, YEAH.

"OH, YEAH."

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SO, HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?

"SO, HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?"

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OH, YOU KNOW, WE TALK EVERY NOW AND THEN.

"OH, YOU KNOW, WE TALK EVERY NOW AND THEN."

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HE'S A PORTLY GUY, ISN'T HE?

"HE'S A PORTLY GUY, ISN'T HE?"

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FULL-SIZED. YEAH. YEAH.

"FULL-SIZED. YEAH. YEAH."

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WHAT ACTUALLY IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THIS PATTERSON FELLA?

"WHAT ACTUALLY IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THIS PATTERSON FELLA?"

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PETERSON.

"PETERSON."

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EXCUSE ME, OFFICER.

"EXCUSE ME, OFFICER."

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I THE OWNER OF THE BAR HERE. SAM MALONE.

"I THE OWNER OF THE BAR HERE. SAM MALONE."

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IS THERE A PROBLEM?

"IS THERE A PROBLEM?"

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NO. SOME GUY TRIED TO IMPLICATE THIS LETTER CARRIER

"NO. SOME GUY TRIED TO IMPLICATE THIS LETTER CARRIER"

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IN A MAIL THEFT ON HIS ROUTE.

"IN A MAIL THEFT ON HIS ROUTE."

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