You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj (S10E10)

"We were all thinking it."
Archer
"'Cause you're all a bunch of xenophobes."
Archer
"Are you... You're as bad as she is."
Archer
"-Always calling me fish or... -That doesn't count."
Archer
"-You're a robot. -Synthetic human."
Archer
"Potato, pobobot, am I right?"
Archer
"Anyway, the important thing is I'm okay."
Archer
"-Is that so? -Well, yeah."
Archer
"I mean, I'm heir to the throne of the House of Garj, so..."
Archer
"And that's actually a pretty huge deal."
Archer
"-Well, li-like, how huge? -Well..."
Archer
"I-If you had to express it monetarily."
Archer
"-Wh... Oh, no. -Lana, shut up."
Archer
"-Archer, shut up. -[all clamor] -No!"
Archer
"-We are not going off on some...-Wild goose chase! Who's in?"
Archer
"-I'm so in!-Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!-Ooh, me!"
Archer
"-No. Now, wait a minute. -Lana, democracy has spoken."
Archer
"So, if we take you home to Garj..."
Archer
"Well, to Garjek, our moon,"
Archer
"then my parents will reward you handsomely."
Archer
"I'm already handsome. How much?"
Archer
"I mean... easily a million credits."
Archer
"-[excited chatter] -In this economy?"
Archer
"And like I said, I'm a pretty huge deal."
Archer
"Yes, yes, you definitely are."
Archer
"So, can somebody here please"
Archer
"get His Highness some more cereal right now?"
Archer
"Yeah, or maybe just better cereal?"
Archer
"Well, I don't know about all that."
Archer
"Just a thought."
Archer
"Can I talk to you... please?"
Archer
"If you can do it while I'm plotting a course for Garjek."
Archer
"Wha..."
Archer
"And ignoring you."
Archer
"LANA: Because we need to put the ship in dry-dock."
Archer
"The hull was damaged,"
Archer
"-even before this fiasco. -ARCHER: All right,"
Archer
"carry the two..."
Archer
"And now you want to put more stress on the ship"
Archer
"and jump two systems away"
Archer
"just because a sentient blobsays there might be money in it."
Archer
"Uncarry the two."
Archer
"On top of which-- not that you give a shit--"
Archer
"but you swore to me we'd go back to Earth."
Archer
"-You promised. -Lana, come on."
Archer
"I promised you lots of things."
Archer
"-Archer... -Besides,"
Archer
"like you said, it's just two systems, a..."
Archer
"a skip and a jump."
Archer
"What could possibly go wrong?"
Archer
"-Seriously? -[chuckles]"
Archer
"Besides all the normal stuff"
Archer
"that could easily go disastrously wrong,"
Archer
"-since space travel is so dangerous. -Ugh."
Archer
"[engine whirring]"
Archer
"ARCHER: [laughs] Woooooo!!"
Archer
"Hyperspace!"
Archer
"ARCHER [laughing]: Oh, m... oh, man."
Archer
"Is hyperspace not the best?"
Archer
"If you mean is it the bestat putting stress on the hull..."
Archer
"Is this the rest of my life now--"
Archer
"you bitching about the damn hull?"
Archer
"Right? Relax. The hull's gonna be..."
Archer
"-[explosion] -Aah!"
Archer
"-What the hell was that? -[glass shatters]"
Archer
"My last bottle of bitter lemon!"
Archer
"Dri'n fighters inbound."
Archer
"ARCHER: From where?"
Archer
"-LANA: From the transport. -ARCHER: What?!"
Archer
"LANA: They must've followed us, dumbass."
Archer
"How am I a dumbass?"
Archer
"How much time do you have?"
Archer
"Ow!"
Archer
"Uh... not much."
Archer
"-COMPUTER: Hull damage. -We know!"
Archer
"-[alarm blaring] -COMPUTER: Battle stations."
Archer
"Ugh! What now?"
Archer
"Seriously."
Archer
"But whatever it is, I'm sure it's Archer's fault."
Archer
"-Krieger, helm! -Yep!"
Archer
"Okay, assholes. Sun's out, guns out."
Archer
"Well, in space, the sun is always..."
Archer
"Don't step on my line, fish!"
Archer
"Whoa..."
Archer
"Uh, I thought this was a civilian ship."
Archer
"Isn't it illegal for it to have weapons?"
Archer
"Oh, my God, it is."
Archer
"Should we pull over and call the Federation, or, uh..."
Archer
"-What? No, I just... -'Cause we're happy to pull over, Bort!"
Archer
"-KRIEGER: S-seriously? -LANA: No. Archer..."
Archer
"-[loud thud] -Please!"
Archer
"Quit dicking around."
Archer
"ARCHER: Yeah, Bort."
Archer
"Come on, come on, come on, come on..."
Archer
"Yes!"
Archer
"Get some! Get some!"
Archer
"Suppressing fire!"
Archer
"ARCHER: Jesus,"
Archer
"you couldn't suppress a cough."
Archer
"-CYRIL [over comms]: Yes, I could. -Touché, Cyril."
Archer
"We're taking too much damage!"
Archer
"Damn it! Okay, Carol..."
Archer
"Carol? Carol!"
Archer
"-What? -ARCHER: You know what!"
Archer
"-Ugh! -LANA: Goddamn it, woman."
Archer
"All right, already!"
Archer
"Jesus!"
Archer
"[weapons firing]"
Archer
"Isn't it kind of weird Carol hates doing"
Archer
"the one thing she's good at?"
Archer
"No, I get it. I mean, I'm like that with blowjobs."
Archer
"-MALORY: Oh, for... -[laughing]: Wai-Wait, what?"
Archer
"-Yeah, whooda what? -ARCHER: Since when are you good at blowjobs?"
Archer
"Excuse me?"
Archer
"[chuckles] For your information..."
Archer
"LANA: Cyril, shut up."
Archer
"-Let the man speak. -ARCHER: Yeah, Lana."
Archer
"He has nothing to say on the matter."
Archer
"-Do you, Cyril? -I... No, I guess not."
Archer
"ARCHER: Whoa, w-whoa, w... wait a minute."
Archer
Show more clips