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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj (S10E10)

"LANA: Hey, look over there-- that was the last pirate."
Archer
"Way to go, Carol."
Archer
"Yeah. Yay me."
Archer
"ARCHER: Okay, we will talk about this later."
Archer
"-LANA: No, we won't. -ARCHER: But for now, head to the gig."
Archer
"We leave for the surface in five."
Archer
"Time to see what a million credits looks like."
Archer
"And we should take a duffel bag, or..."
Archer
"-Ray, uh, what are you doing? -[footsteps approaching]"
Archer
"I thought I'd go down with y'all and see if I could,"
Archer
"you know, find some clientele."
Archer
"[all laughing]"
Archer
"Hey, you know what?"
Archer
"I don't need it!"
Archer
"PAM: Aw, man. Now I feel kind of bad."
Archer
"ARCHER: Yeah, I d..."
Archer
"I do too. Let's bring him something back."
Archer
"Does he still collect those little spoons?"
Archer
"Ugh, yes."
Archer
"Hey, we're not going down there for a shopping spree."
Archer
"We're gonna use that reward money to repair the ship."
Archer
"Jesus, calm down, it's just a spoon."
Archer
"Yeah, Lana."
Archer
"So, Bort, wh... uh, what do we call your folks?"
Archer
"BORT: Do what?"
Archer
"ARCHER: Like, is this a "Your Majesty" type deal, or..."
Archer
"Uh, y-yeah, I guess."
Archer
"Okay, so..."
Archer
"Oh, should I curtsy?"
Archer
"Ugh, there's a picture."
Archer
"PAM: First of all, I was voted"
Archer
"Most Ladylike in my cotillion class, and I also..."
Archer
"Who was your competition-- a boulder?"
Archer
"-[weapons cocking] -[all gasp] -Oh, the Dri'n."
Archer
"-[cackling] -ARCHER: What the..."
Archer
"-BARRY: Hey, gang. -Wha..."
Archer
"Barry Six?!"
Archer
"-MALORY: Good God. -CYRIL: Not Barry Six. -[all groan]"
Archer
"Yeah, it's good ol' Barry Six. Say, Bort."
Archer
"-Goddamn it, Bort. -Hey, Six. -You know him?"
Archer
"How the hell do you know Bort?"
Archer
"Oh, Bort and I go way back."
Archer
"I got Bort out of a sticky little mess on Vega Three,"
Archer
"-didn't I, bud? -Yeah."
Archer
"So this was all a big set-up?"
Archer
"-Duh-hoy. -I'm super sorry, you guys."
Archer
"Oh, you will be, you little..."
Archer
"Butt-plug looking piece of shit!"
Archer
"That's what he reminds me of!"
Archer
"Mother, please."
Archer
"Well look at him."
Archer
"So are we... cool?"
Archer
"[chortling]"
Archer
"I mean, I am."
Archer
"Okay, well, then I'm just gonna..."
Archer
"[grunting] kinda..."
Archer
"tip... just tip on out, then."
Archer
"BARRY [chuckling]: Wow."
Archer
"Wow. Look at that. Little kook."
Archer
"You believe he's heir to the throne of the House of Garj?"
Archer
"What do you want with us?"
Archer
"Well, me and Archer have what you might call"
Archer
"an outstanding account to settle."
Archer
"So, for starters, I'm gonna extract"
Archer
"all the bones from his body."
Archer
"-What?! -No biggie."
Archer
"Well, now just hold on a minute!"
Archer
"-Yeah! -If this is between"
Archer
"the two of you, the rest of us..."
Archer
"-No! -The rest of you, I hope,"
Archer
"are gonna fetch me a pretty good price"
Archer
"when I sell you down the spek mines."
Archer
"-Seriously? -[overlapping chatter]"
Archer
"Yeah. Not great, huh?"
Archer
"[Dri'n laughing]"
Archer
"[door slams]"
Archer
"How about now-- happy now?"
Archer
"I mean... probably happier than I'm gonna be"
Archer
"when Barry Six starts yanking my bones."
Archer
"[laughs] Space phrasing."
Archer
"No."
Archer
"MAN: Made in Georgia."
Archer
"Whoo!"
Archer
"-Hey. -[screeching]"
Archer
"-Welcome to the freak show. -[gasps]"
Archer
"[growling]"
Archer
"-[farts] -[sniffs]"
Archer
"-Is that shepherd's pie? -And banana puddin'."
Archer
"-Why, I oughta-- -You oughta... wash off that 'nana puddin'."
Archer
"-[slaps land] -[grunting]"
Archer
"ANNOUNCER: Archer 1999."
Archer
"All new, Wednesdays at 10:00 on FXX."
Archer