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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Bad Mummies (S01E01)

"Okay, I'm gonna go run away now for an unrelated reason."
Human Resources (2022)
"Alright, time for Gavin to warm up his tuna soup."
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"-Oh, shit! Oh, shit! -[tense music plays]"
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"-Ahh! -[penises chittering]"
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"So, fuckin' and multiplyin'? That's what happens?"
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"-[whistles] That's a lotta dicks. -Yeah."
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"Better get 'em to nap before 3:00 or they'll turn into real assholes."
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"Really? Are you mommy-shaming me, Pete?"
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"[hesitantly] No, of course not, you're not their mother."
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"-Hey. Is there something on my back? -No! You good!"
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"[Kitty] I'm telling you, it's on HBO and it's hilarious."
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"And you say it's called Chernobyl? I'll write it down in my phone."
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"They kill a bunch of dogs in the fourth episode… [chuckles]"
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"It's a hoot."
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"There you are, Mummy. Oh, I've been searching high and low."
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"-Well, you found me. What fortune. -Indeed."
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"Yes, I brought you a special present, look! Shame tears!"
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"They're fresh from that tortured husk of a new mother I told you about!"
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"I'll pass. Kitty cracked a jar of her depression tears,"
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"and, frankly, I'm still a bit goosed."
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"Ugh, depression tears?"
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"But, Mummy, I harvested these shame tears myself!"
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"It was hard, it was very hard, but I did it for you!"
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"-[both snickering] -Please don't laugh at me. Please, Mummy."
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"No. I'm sorry, darling, you just made such a face."
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"[mocks] "It was so hard, Mommy.""
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"[Kitty and Rita laugh]"
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"It's pronounced… No, listen, shut up. It's pronounced "Mummy"!"
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"Oh, Lionel, come back."
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"We'll miss you too much."
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"[both laugh]"
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"-Come on, guys, settle down. -[dramatic music plays]"
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"-It's nap time for Christ's sake. Fuck! -[chittering]"
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"-There's so many of you! -[grunts]"
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"Here! Look what I got."
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"I got some SpongeDick SquareBalls to doze off to."
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"Aw, that's not a pussy, silly!"
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"-They're sweet. -Gonna turn into some real assholes soon."
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"Now why do people keep saying that about these cute little--"
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"-[beeping] -Oh, fuck."
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"[tense music plays]"
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"What are they-- Stop! Stop that! Don't do that. Not you, dear Zachary!"
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"[Zachary groans]"
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"Buy us cigarettes and take us to the horse track!"
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"Fuck you! Don't fuckin' touch me, Mark."
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"Blow it out ya face, Shawn."
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"Timbah!"
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"You say somethin' about my sistah Heathah?"
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"You say something about my pahtnah, Theodore?"
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"Could you not do that on my desk? Goddamn assholes!"
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""Real assholes." Okay, yeah, that makes sense in rectumspect."
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"Listen, whatever Father Brian did to you, Tommy, you keep it to yourself."
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"Oh, God, I have failed these youths."
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"[birds chirping]"
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"[Becca sighs]"
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"Oh! Shit, sorry! I didn't know you were… What are you doing?"
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"Can't wipe yet. Too raw."
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"-Ooph! I did not know that was part of it. -[Becca groans]"
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"Oh, I… You know, I, uh, heard you used to be kind of awesome."
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"You mean before I had to cold-press my tits and squirt-gun my-- [groans]"
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"-God damn it. Why'd I look down? -[gasps] Why'd you look down?"
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"[sobs] I think it's gonna die. My pussy."
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"No, no, it won't! It'll heal, and you'll, um, get head from Barry again!"
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"Oh, big whoop."
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"And, someday, you'll even party like before."
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"And you'll eat spicy chicken sandwiches."
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"But it won't be the same. Nothing will ever be the same."
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"She's right. Parenthood makes everything awful."
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"-Fuck you. -It really does."
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"She's always leaking from somewhere."
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"What if the rest of your life is just open-ended suffering?"
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"A fitting destiny for an unfit parent."
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"-Alright, everybody. -[piano music plays]"
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"Ooh, a reprise!"
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"-No, no! Hey! No! -[music stops]"
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"That song is not helpful. Everybody out!"
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"Hey! Don't get the assholes wet."
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"They've done enough gremlin-y bullshit today."
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"Wicked good fuckin' movie."
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"Out! Go! This woman is busted, and she needs some peace and quiet!"
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"You can't shut me out! You're not my mummy!"
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"You, too, Lionel. Go!"
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"[sighs] That's better."
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"Thanks. Are you being nice to me out of pity?"
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"A little. But I-- I also think I respect you now?"
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"Oh. Well, that's new."
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"Yeah. Yeah-- Yeah, your life is so shitty right now. Like this?"
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"This is actually you doing your best, just like I've been doing my best."
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"And if we're being honest, my best hasn't been great."
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"That's, uh, really brave of you to admit. Hey, I wish you well, okay?"
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"-Oh, I… -Are you not res--"
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"-Not resigning, no. -No?"
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"Yeah, I was gonna land a heartfelt speech"
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"and then I guess… [chuckling] …hope to grow into my role?"
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"Okay, cool. Yeah, love that."
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"Great. 'Cause I think we can do this."
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"I just… I don't think we can. [sobs]"
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"It's going so bad. And I'm such a mess."
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"You are. You are, but see,"
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"that's what I learned from your Need Demon."
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"That old, good Becca and new, messy, dead-pussy Becca"
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"are actually the same person who's not a total bitch-menace!"
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"-Okay… -Hang on, not done!"
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"-[hopeful music plays] -And I think that all of those Beccas"
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"are gonna be a great mom."
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"-Wait, are you… -[magic jingling]"
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"Oh! A little bit, yeah."
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"My booty's glowing."
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"-The baby's not even here. -I guess this one's for you."
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"Oh, that's nice. And warm."
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"[snores]"
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"[sighs] Thank you."
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"♪ You're not the worst You're not so bad ♪"
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"Hey, can you shut the fuck up?"
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"I'm finally about to get some sleep."
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"Right, right, sorry."
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"I'm a good wizard. I work hard."
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"I've done everything you've ever shamed me into."
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"So tell me one thing, Mummy. What does Kitty have that I don't?"
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"[sighs] If you must know, a tight little butthole"
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