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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Bad Mummies (S01E01)

"And if they don't love themselves, they'll never love their babies."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm sorry, do you mind if I grab a breath mint"
Human Resources (2022)
"since you're both shitting down my throat at the same time?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, honey, we were just trying to help. -I know, I know."
Human Resources (2022)
"You just… [sighs]"
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"You don't have to be such "Beccas" about it."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ugh, Maury. I'm sorry to keep doing this. I forgot my  goddamn password again."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ugh! It's "jizz" with six z's and a pound sign."
Human Resources (2022)
"What are your boys doing here? Shouldn't they be at school?"
Human Resources (2022)
"There was a crabs outbreak at their cumdergarten."
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"One dirty dick, and they gotta shut down the whole damn place."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[chittering] -Aww. Daddy's sorry for raising his voice."
Human Resources (2022)
"Daddy loves you."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, man. You gonna be able to handle that chode-load at work?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I-- I-- I'll manage somehow."
Human Resources (2022)
"Okay. Let's see, I've got a kid who's found his dad's Fleshlight,"
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"a glory hole grand opening…"
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"Well, I would offer to dicksit, but…"
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"Oh, yeah, no-- no way."
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"You could-- You could never handle all these dicks."
Human Resources (2022)
"-What's that supposed to mean? -Nothing!"
Human Resources (2022)
"It's just a lot of responsibility,"
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"and you're, you know, kind of a-- a hot fuck-up."
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"How dare you, you sexy shithead?"
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"Look, I'm just saying, you're not really a kid person."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, I'd be a great dicksitter, so it's your loss."
Human Resources (2022)
"Alright, okay, so you think you can do it?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Of course I do!"
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"-Great! -It is great."
Human Resources (2022)
"Then you'll need the rundown."
Human Resources (2022)
"First, they eat Cool Ranch Doritos only, comprende?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-[Connie] Mm-hm. -Chew 'em up, then… [gurgles]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Baby-bird the paste into their mouth holes."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[snaps fingers] Hey, Connie! -I'm listening! "Cool Ranch.""
Human Resources (2022)
"Also, you have to jerk them off every two hours."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah. I get it."
Human Resources (2022)
"And make sure they get a nap before 3:00, or they'll turn into real assholes."
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"Maury, I got it! This ain't my first dick rodeo."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Yee-haw! Texas forev-- Ow! Shit! -[banjo music plays]"
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"Not bad for a first time out."
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"Well, that doesn't reassure me, but I’m grateful for the flashback."
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"[lively instrumental music plays]"
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"[roars, slurps]"
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"Oh, Mummy, you should have seen the shame on the young mother's face."
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"[laughs] There she was with her darling newborn, right?"
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"And I flew right in and I said… I, uh, mm…"
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"-[clears throat] Mummy? -Mm? Oh, I'm listening, darling."
Human Resources (2022)
"Important email to my publicist."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, uh, um… I said your catchphrase, "Flawed women are failed women.""
Human Resources (2022)
"Er… Look, I'll show you the photo."
Human Resources (2022)
"Mummy? Mummy, do you see it, Mummy?"
Human Resources (2022)
"It's "Rita" in the workplace, please."
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"Mm. She cried, I'm sure?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh… Well, no. She was about to, but then they cut to the main titles--"
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"Sorry I'm late, peaches."
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"Kitty! At last!"
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"Uh… Oh. Are there other chairs?"
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"-Oh, just take Lionel's. -What?"
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"You-- You don't mind floating, do you, dear?"
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"Oh. Well. Yes, Mummy."
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"It's been too long! How's the depression game?"
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"Busy as always."
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"I partnered with Amazon last month. [chuckles]"
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"-How exciting! -[Lionel groans]"
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"Yes, I've got thousands of warehouse workers"
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"in a state of deep existential ennui. [chuckles]"
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"Wow! You know, Lionel almost got a woman to cry yesterday."
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"Well, I am almost impressed."
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"[both laugh]"
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"[sputters] Mummy, don't forget about your publicist!"
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"The email? Mummy gets lots of important emails."
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"Just not from me, eh. They go to her spam."
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"Lionel, please."
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"So, what's new with you, sweetness?"
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"Nothing really. Notre Shame just invited me to give the commencement speech again."
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"Oh! I went to Notre Shame!"
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"Hey, remember how proud you'd have been if you'd come to my graduation?"
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"Lionel, just-- just be a dear"
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"and-- and fetch Kitty a saucer of milk, would you?"
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"Yes, Mummy."
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"-Oh, take your time, Lionel. -[sad music plays]"
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"[Kitty and Rita chuckle]"
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"[baby crying]"
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"Come on, I know you're hungry."
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"We're fucking starving!"
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"Why aren't you squeezing the booby into a sandwich?"
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"Didn't you listen to that bitch at the hospital?"
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"What if the baby starves? Oh God, you'll be a baby murderer!"
Human Resources (2022)
"They'll talk about me on Inside Edition."
Human Resources (2022)
"And then send you to jail,"
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"where there's nothing to watch but Inside Edition!"
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"Why do you think breastfeeding is impossible for you"
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"when it comes so naturally to other, better women?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Could you guys please leave me alone and just let me--"
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"Cry? You gonna cry? You gonna cry 'cause of what I said, are you?"
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"Oh, I don't want to cry, I want to fucking scream!"
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"I'm sorry about these mood swings, Becca-boo!"
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"I'm just a little dickstracted."
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"-Zachary! No! No humpies! [yelps] -[penises chittering]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Those dicks look pretty rowdy. Maybe they need to be jerked off?"
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"Maybe you need to be jerked off!"
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"I do! But I haven't found ethical porn that I like!"
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"-[whimsical music plays] -[crying, chittering]"
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"[giggles] Hi! How's my favorite client who I love and adore, of course?"
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"-How does it fucking look? -Okay. Actively meaner today, got it."
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"The baby won't eat, I haven't slept in days, and my nipples are so sore!"
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"-"Sore"? -We're fucking totaled!"
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"-Why are you so bad at this? -We can't take it anymore!"
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"-Ew! Your gross nips talk? -[piano music plays]"
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"We also sing."
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"Oh. Oh boy."
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"♪ I always thought my life would be Forever perky, fun and free ♪"
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"♪ Never worried 'bout tomorrow ♪"
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"Oh, lovely."
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"♪ But now we hang here suckled numb ♪"
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"♪ Chafed and raw from greedy gums ♪"
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"♪ A broken body filled with sorrow ♪"
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"♪ Give me that milky sweet libation! ♪"
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"♪ I need a rest, some private time ♪"
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"♪ Could be some weird disease Is blocking your lactation ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
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