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Clips from Silicon Valley - Adult Content (S02E02)

"Service Level Agreements like that are enormously complex,"
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"they take a huge number of man hours."
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"There's no way we could find clients, negotiate terms,"
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"and push deals out the funnel fast enough to yield real cash anytime soon."
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"We're just not built for it."
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"Right. Yeah. Yeah."
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"Oh, Karen posted another photo."
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"Sending it to you right now."
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"Wait. Why does it say sent from my iPhone at the bottom?"
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"You just sent this from your computer."
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"It's so that I seem like"
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"I'm an out-and-about kind of person."
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"I put that in the signature"
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"and then in the body, I'll write fun stuff,"
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"like, I'm at the opening of a secret restaurant."
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"Or, I'm watching 'Jaws' at the pool of an old hotel."
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"You know, keep it fun, vague, mysterious."
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"It is a mystery why you think you'll ever see a woman naked."
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"Dinesh, do you want a piece of advice?"
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"- No, thank you. - Okay, I..."
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"I know Karen is out of my league."
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"Okay? She's practically not my species."
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"I'm a guppy, and I'm trying to mate with a dolphin."
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"You guys are bottom-feeders."
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"You're like the fish that swim into other fish's mouths"
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"and eat bacteria off their teeth."
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"There's no such fish. You made that fish up."
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"Okay, it's an analogy."
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"I'm not gonna debate"
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"the existence of the literal fish with you,"
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"- 'cause it's not relevant. - Well good, 'cause it doesn't exist."
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"That is a real fish."
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"Why don't you just send emails,"
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"from your actual iPhone?"
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"It's all the way in my room."
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"Wait, so you are trying to convince this girl"
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"that you run half-marathons,"
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"but you won't walk halfway across this house"
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"to get your iPhone?"
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"Basically."
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"Hi. Is there a... a Russ..."
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"Boy genius, what's up?"
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"Hey, Russ, uh..."
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"Look, I've run the numbers 50 different ways,"
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"and I just don't know how I'm gonna convert..."
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"You don't need to know. I don't pay you to know."
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"Know what?"
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"That's right. I know, you don't know."
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"- I don't know what you know. - No, you don't know,"
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"'cause I figured it out."
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"You know what? It's what I do."
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"I put radio on the Internet."
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"I'm putting the third comma back into my net worth,"
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"and you don't have to do jack shit."
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"Thanks. Come on, let's get some food. I'm starving."
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"Do you want your..."
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"Richard, hey."
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"Good to see you again."
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"What is this?"
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"This is the solution."
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"They're not a competitor if you're a part of them, right?"
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"Pied Piper is gonna merge with EndFrame."
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"I mean, seriously, I'm a genius, right?"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where the fuck are you going?"
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"You're gonna blow this deal."
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"You cannot be serious."
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"Those are the guys who ripped off my algorithm,"
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"which they totally fucked up, by the way."
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"Okay, so now you can fix it."
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"Y-You give them a better algorithm,"
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"they'll give you a killer sales team."
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"And in exchange for bringing you to them,"
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"they give me a big fat buyout of my stake in your company."
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"I'm that much closer to re-billionizing."
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"Those guys are clowns."
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"Clowns with commitments worth millions."
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"Did you know they have a deal on the table with Intersite?"
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"Intersite? The porn company? Really?"
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"I know. Awesome, right?"
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"And they've done months of hard work."
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"All you have to do is show up and compress shit."
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"The answer is no."
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"Wrong. You do this deal, or I pull your funding."
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"Well, you can't pull funding because we have a contract, so..."
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"Oh, we have a contract?"
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"We have a fucking contract, Richard?"
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"You wanna know what I have?"
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"A fucking car whose doors open like this."
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"Not like this, not like this."
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"These are not the doors of a billionaire, Richard."
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"Fuck you!"
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"Fuck you in the ass."
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"So you wanna sue Russ Hanneman?"
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"Yeah. Yeah, we had a contract."
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"He promised to give us $5 million"
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"and now he's welshing."
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"And you wanna sue EndFrame?"
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"Yes, because they stole our IP."
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"Before or... after you gave it to 'em?"
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"Okay, we were tricked, so..."
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"Richie, you're not a guy"
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"that should be worried about suing people."
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"You need to be worried about the guy at Hooli"
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"who's suing you."
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"If you don't mount a vigorous legal defense,"
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"then you lose to Gavin Belson by default."
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"And you are stamped Property of Hooli."
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"You let Hanneman walk,"
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"how you plan on paying these cats?"
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"I just paid them 80 grand."
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"As a retainer."
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"That retains them."
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"Now you gotta pay them."
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"Hold on. So I just paid them $80,000..."
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"for the right to pay them more?"
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"Yeah."
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"Fucking lawyers, man. Right?"
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"Like it or not, Richie, you're stuck with Hanneman."
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"I mean, technically, it's not even a merger."
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"EndFrame just absorbs you, and you're gone."
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