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Clips from Silicon Valley - Adult Content (S02E02)
"Service Level Agreements like that are enormously complex,"
Silicon Valley
"they take a huge number of man hours."
Silicon Valley
"There's no way we could find clients, negotiate terms,"
Silicon Valley
"and push deals out the funnel fast enough to yield real cash anytime soon."
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"We're just not built for it."
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"Right. Yeah. Yeah."
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"Oh, Karen posted another photo."
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"Sending it to you right now."
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"Wait. Why does it say sent from my iPhone at the bottom?"
Silicon Valley
"You just sent this from your computer."
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"It's so that I seem like"
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"I'm an out-and-about kind of person."
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"I put that in the signature"
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"and then in the body, I'll write fun stuff,"
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"like, I'm at the opening of a secret restaurant."
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"Or, I'm watching 'Jaws' at the pool of an old hotel."
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"You know, keep it fun, vague, mysterious."
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"It is a mystery why you think you'll ever see a woman naked."
Silicon Valley
"Dinesh, do you want a piece of advice?"
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"- No, thank you. - Okay, I..."
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"I know Karen is out of my league."
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"Okay? She's practically not my species."
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"I'm a guppy, and I'm trying to mate with a dolphin."
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"You guys are bottom-feeders."
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"You're like the fish that swim into other fish's mouths"
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"and eat bacteria off their teeth."
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"There's no such fish. You made that fish up."
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"Okay, it's an analogy."
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"I'm not gonna debate"
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"the existence of the literal fish with you,"
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"- 'cause it's not relevant. - Well good, 'cause it doesn't exist."
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"That is a real fish."
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"Why don't you just send emails,"
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"from your actual iPhone?"
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"It's all the way in my room."
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"Wait, so you are trying to convince this girl"
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"that you run half-marathons,"
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"but you won't walk halfway across this house"
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"to get your iPhone?"
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"Basically."
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"Hi. Is there a... a Russ..."
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"Boy genius, what's up?"
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"Hey, Russ, uh..."
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"Look, I've run the numbers 50 different ways,"
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"and I just don't know how I'm gonna convert..."
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"You don't need to know. I don't pay you to know."
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"Know what?"
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"That's right. I know, you don't know."
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"- I don't know what you know. - No, you don't know,"
Silicon Valley
"'cause I figured it out."
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"You know what? It's what I do."
Silicon Valley
"I put radio on the Internet."
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"I'm putting the third comma back into my net worth,"
Silicon Valley
"and you don't have to do jack shit."
Silicon Valley
"Thanks. Come on, let's get some food. I'm starving."
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"Do you want your..."
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"Richard, hey."
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"Good to see you again."
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"What is this?"
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"This is the solution."
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"They're not a competitor if you're a part of them, right?"
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"Pied Piper is gonna merge with EndFrame."
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"I mean, seriously, I'm a genius, right?"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where the fuck are you going?"
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"You're gonna blow this deal."
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"You cannot be serious."
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"Those are the guys who ripped off my algorithm,"
Silicon Valley
"which they totally fucked up, by the way."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, so now you can fix it."
Silicon Valley
"Y-You give them a better algorithm,"
Silicon Valley
"they'll give you a killer sales team."
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"And in exchange for bringing you to them,"
Silicon Valley
"they give me a big fat buyout of my stake in your company."
Silicon Valley
"I'm that much closer to re-billionizing."
Silicon Valley
"Those guys are clowns."
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"Clowns with commitments worth millions."
Silicon Valley
"Did you know they have a deal on the table with Intersite?"
Silicon Valley
"Intersite? The porn company? Really?"
Silicon Valley
"I know. Awesome, right?"
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"And they've done months of hard work."
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"All you have to do is show up and compress shit."
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"The answer is no."
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"Wrong. You do this deal, or I pull your funding."
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"Well, you can't pull funding because we have a contract, so..."
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"Oh, we have a contract?"
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"We have a fucking contract, Richard?"
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"You wanna know what I have?"
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"A fucking car whose doors open like this."
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"Not like this, not like this."
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"These are not the doors of a billionaire, Richard."
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"Fuck you!"
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"Fuck you in the ass."
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"So you wanna sue Russ Hanneman?"
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"Yeah. Yeah, we had a contract."
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"He promised to give us $5 million"
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"and now he's welshing."
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"And you wanna sue EndFrame?"
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"Yes, because they stole our IP."
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"Before or... after you gave it to 'em?"
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"Okay, we were tricked, so..."
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"Richie, you're not a guy"
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"that should be worried about suing people."
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"You need to be worried about the guy at Hooli"
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"who's suing you."
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"If you don't mount a vigorous legal defense,"
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"then you lose to Gavin Belson by default."
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"And you are stamped Property of Hooli."
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"You let Hanneman walk,"
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"how you plan on paying these cats?"
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"I just paid them 80 grand."
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"As a retainer."
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"That retains them."
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"Now you gotta pay them."
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"Hold on. So I just paid them $80,000..."
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"for the right to pay them more?"
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"Yeah."
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"Fucking lawyers, man. Right?"
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"Like it or not, Richie, you're stuck with Hanneman."
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"I mean, technically, it's not even a merger."
Silicon Valley
"EndFrame just absorbs you, and you're gone."
Silicon Valley
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