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Clips from The Goldbergs - Deadheads (S04E04)

"ADULT ADAM: Ah, the Grateful Dead..."
The Goldbergs
"They were the chillest jam band of the '80s,"
The Goldbergs
"and wherever they went,"
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"their die-hard fans would follow them."
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"Back then, every school had the token Deadhead."
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"Ours was Matt Bradley."
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"(SINGING) I will get by"
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"- So talented. - So chill."
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"I will get by."
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"- JTP! - ALL: JTP!"
The Goldbergs
"Where you guys been?"
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"I was at the Wawa, feeding that stray dog pizza."
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"You missed out big time."
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"He loves pineapples, like a person."
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"- I told you, bro. - Hilarious."
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"I eat those, and I'm a person."
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"Come on. Let's go spit off a bridge."
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"Actually, I think we'd rather just chill here"
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"and watch Matt Bradley jam."
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"That guy? He's a stupid Deadhead."
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"- So? - So?"
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"Their songs are, like, a million hours long,"
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"their crazy fans smell like armpits,"
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"and all they wear is tie-dye."
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"It's like, pick a color, bro. You can't have them all."
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"Look past the swirly colors, man. Matt Bradley's a good egg."
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"We should totally make him a member of the JTP."
The Goldbergs
"No way! It's in our official bylaws that any potential JTP prospect"
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"has to bring something new to the group."
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"Dude, he's, like, a chick magnet."
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"We already got one, me!"
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"He's also, like, super-chill."
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"I'm super-chill! I will physically hurt your face right now!"
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"At the very least, he's musical."
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"You want music? Watch and learn."
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"Attention, adoring fans. Big Tasty is in the house!"
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"You suck!"
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"That's right! I do rock."
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"JTP, drop a beat."
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"Um, Bar, history has proven that you say two good lines,"
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"and then you freeze up, and just repeat them over and over..."
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"I said "Drop a beat"!"
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"(ALL BEATBOXING)"
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"(RAPPING) Check to the one And check to the two"
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"Big Tasty's on the mic Rappin' at you"
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"'Cause I'm checkin' to the one And I'm checkin' to the two"
The Goldbergs
"Big Tasty's on the mic Rappin' for you"
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"Checkity one and checkity two"
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"He's stuck in a loop again."
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"And I'm rappin' and I'm rappin'"
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"- And I'm rappin' at you - (CROWD BOOS)"
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"And he's gonna get hit in the face in three, two..."
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"(SINGING) I'm twisted up inside"
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"But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"I don't know the future"
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"But the past keeps getting clearer every day"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was March 8th, 1980-something,"
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"and I was doing what I did best, being awesome."
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"(IMITATES ROBOCOP) Dead or alive, you're coming with me."
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"All right, my little RoboSchmoop,"
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"time to clean up your masterpiece so I can lay out mine."
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"(NORMAL VOICE) But we're about to shoot Pops' big scene."
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"POPS: Adam, is that you? I can't see in this thing."
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"Just take five, Pops."
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"Finally. I'm shvitzing in this big box."
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"ADULT ADAM: What happened next would change my life forever."
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"(SLO-MO) Oh..."
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"Fudge!"
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"ADULT ADAM: Only, I didn't say "Fudge.""
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"I said the big one, the granddaddy of bad words,"
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"and it was not good."
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"Hey!"
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"You don't even want to know"
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"what this little muddy mouth just said."
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"You only get one helping of shrimp parm tonight."
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"You can have seconds on cheesy garlic bread,"
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"but no thirds!"
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"It was an accident, okay?"
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"Unacceptable!"
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"I mean, where did you even learn such a potty word?"
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"- Nowhere. - Answer me!"
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"Who taught you how to do this stuff?"
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"You, all right?"
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"I learned it by watching you!"
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"What?"
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"- I have never! - Seriously?"
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"What? I don't talk like that."
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"ADULT ADAM: But she did."
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"Bev Bombs were dropped on a daily basis in our home."
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"Holy (BLEEP) I love that idea!"
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"I hate drugs so (BLEEP) much!"
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"Adam used to be a good boy, and now he's a real (BLEEP)."
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"(BLEEPING CONTINUES)"
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"Yeah!"
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"Okay, maybe I do get saucy once in a blue moon,"
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"but I can because I'm an adult."
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"An adult who can't stop herself from talking like a lumberjack."
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"Oh, really? Well, we'll see about that."
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"I'm starting a swear jar."
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"My pickles!"
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"You do realize that jar is way too small for you, right?"
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"Oh, you'll see. I'm not gonna drop a penny into this thing."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, well, then you won't mind if we use it for something awesome,"
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"like, I don't know, a trip to the Bahamas."
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"Or, even more exciting,"
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"a trip to Colonial Williamsburg!"
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"We can finally get a picture in the stocks!"
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"You already have one!"
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"But I want a new one."
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"Oh. Thou doth look so snuggly. (GIGGLES)"
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"No more old-timey trips where we learn stuff."
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"I want to tan in the Bahamas."
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"No one's going to the Bahamas. No one's going anywhere."
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"Of course not. And you know why?"
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"Because my lips are squeaky-clean."
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"Yay! Making my kids better people is gonna be (BLEEP) fun."
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"Yo, dude, we've been talking,"
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"and we want to make an official vote to induct Matt Bradley into the JTP."
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"We already decided."
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"He brings nothing new to the table."
The Goldbergs
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