Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - Congressional Ball (S05E05)

"What? Charlie Baird? What does Charlie Baird have to do with any of this?"
Veep
"I don't know. He's got nothing to do with it."
Veep
"- Oh, my God, you're such a liar! - The point is he..."
Veep
"You're such a liar! Why did you even join my ticket in the first place?"
Veep
"Because I happen to believe in something called public service."
Veep
"- Oh, bullshit! - Okay, well, then I got no fucking idea."
Veep
"- I'll tell you why. - Go ahead."
Veep
"Because you wanted to be a step closer to the presidency"
Veep
"and to me."
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep
"You wanted it so bad, you could taste it."
Veep
"This is unbelievable. Please."
Veep
"You are lying now just like you lied back then"
Veep
"just like you lied about that night in the cab with the green shoes."
Veep
"Oh, well, now I got no idea what you're talking about."
Veep
"Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about."
Veep
"No."
Veep
"You remembered the green shoes that night,"
Veep
"but not the fact that you wanted to fuck me?"
Veep
"Come on. Come on."
Veep
"No straight man remembers a woman's shoes."
Veep
"Well, you got me. I'm gay, so..."
Veep
"Just admit it. Just say the truth for once in your life."
Veep
"Come on, Tom. You wanted to fuck me that night."
Veep
"- Just say it. - Will you stop it?!"
Veep
"Just say it. You wanted to fuck my brains out."
Veep
"All right, I wanted to fuck your brains out!"
Veep
"There you go. And now you're trying to fuck me tonight."
Veep
"- No, I am fucking you tonight. - I'm gonna fuck you."
Veep
"I mean, if I never see the White House again, it'll be too soon."
Veep
"It's funny, you know. I love my job."
Veep
"I've been working for Congressman Furlong since I was 15."
Veep
"- Oh. - Mike, where's the president?"
Veep
"- And where's Tom? - I don't know."
Veep
"- What, are you drunk? - Maybe, Mr. Hipflask."
Veep
"Listen, I'm a high functioning alcoholic"
Veep
"and you're a sloppy weekend drunk. Now get with it."
Veep
"- Ma'am? - (MOANING)"
Veep
"(SHAKY BREATHING)"
Veep
"(WHIMPERS)"
Veep
"(WHIMPERS)"
Veep
"JONAH: Hi. Jonah Ryan. Thanks for coming out tonight."
Veep
"Let me know if you have any questions. Hi. Jonah Ryan."
Veep
"Running for Congress and I hope I can count on your support."
Veep
"This is my boss Polly. She's gonna be showing me the ropes today."
Veep
"Oh, Polly, look at this."
Veep
"Big shoes. You know what that means, right?"
Veep
"Uh, big feet?"
Veep
"Can't argue with that. Maybe you should run for Congress."
Veep
"- Your name is Jonah, right? - Yeah."
Veep
"So why does your shirt say Jon H Ryan?"
Veep
"Fuck."
Veep
"This is good. This is working."
Veep
"Oh, bowling alley's always a good choice."
Veep
"I mean, skating rink's good for a male candidate,"
Veep
"but it's cold and gals tend to nip out."
Veep
"- Hi, I'm Jo... - Hey, Jonah."
Veep
"Could I get a child size 12, please?"
Veep
"What are you doing here, Teddy?"
Veep
"I'm looking forward to some bowling."
Veep
"Although pocket pool is more my game."
Veep
"You listen to me, you fucking weirdo."
Veep
"I was a victim, but I am not gonna let you define me."
Veep
"Nice blog, Mary."
Veep
"You know what? People like you,"
Veep
"you look like us, but there's a little piece missing."
Veep
"You're like a different species"
Veep
"and one that I hope gets struck from the Earth"
Veep
"because you're a bully and Jonah Ryan stands up to bullies."
Veep
"- Yes. Yes, he does. - (APPLAUSE)"
Veep
"Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, this is a no haters alley."
Veep
"Okay, you and Boo-Boo the ball-fondling bear here"
Veep
"have exactly two seconds to get the fuck out."
Veep
"Our work is done here. Tell Selina hello."
Veep
"Yeah, great place for an event, Dan."
Veep
"The teenager selling cocaine in the bathroom thought so, too."
Veep
"- Hey. - Oh, looking good, 26."
Veep
"Hi, all."
Veep
"Ma'am, have you seen Tom?"
Veep
"- Couple times. - Good."
Veep
"I need Nickerson, I need Jaeger,"
Veep
"'cause we're gonna finish this."
Veep
"- Okay, walk this way. - Yeah."
Veep
"- SELINA: Gotcha! - (NICKERSON GASPS)"
Veep
"- (LAUGHS) Hi. - Hi."
Veep
"Can I have a few minutes of your time in the Green Room?"
Veep
"The Green Room? That sounds historic."
Veep
"Oh, it is. It's where Woodrow Wilson"
Veep
"had some of his most significant strokes."
Veep
"- Really? - Yeah."
Veep
"- Hey, buddy. Hey. Been a while. - Mike."
Veep
"Look, about how things went down at the end, I am so sorry."
Veep
"I should thank you 'cause it was a wake-up call"
Veep
"for me to get out of the insanity of DC politics."
Veep
"Amen to that, brother. This place sucks."
Veep
"Listen, I have lined up a sweet private sector gig."
Veep
"Oh? On the QT, I got something in the works, too."
Veep
"I am the new director of communications for the NHL."
Veep
"- You got the hockey job. Perfect. - Where are you headed?"
Veep
"I'm going to CL International Time."
Veep
"- That sounds great. - Mmm, big."
Veep
"Listen, any time you want Caps tickets,"
Veep
"you hit me up, buddy, all right?"
Veep
"And if you ever need anything international."
Veep
"- And congratulations. - You, too."
Veep
"- Mazel. Yeah. - Good luck."
Veep
"Fuck."
Veep
"If you think that you are getting"
Veep
"those worthless toy boats now,"
Veep
"I'm gonna shut down those factories"
Veep
"faster than you can bedazzle a fucking sweatshirt."
Veep
"- Let's cut the shit, Selina. - Oh, here it is."
Veep
"All roads through Colorado go through me"
Veep
"and the toll just went up."
Veep
"You're playing a very dangerous game of chicken"
Veep
"with the head fucking hen."
Veep
"'Cause if I don't win the White House,"
Veep
"O'Brien is gonna sink your stupid boats"
Veep
"and you're gonna look like a hair-sprayed asshole"
Veep
"in your 1980s mother-of-the-bride dress."
Veep
Show more clips