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Clips from Veep - Congressional Ball (S05E05)

And if I do win, I will have my administration

"And if I do win, I will have my administration"

Veep

come to your shitty little district

"come to your shitty little district"

Veep

and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny.

"and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny."

Veep

And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up

"And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up"

Veep

your husband's colon, he's gonna wish

"your husband's colon, he's gonna wish"

Veep

the only thing they find is more cancer.

"the only thing they find is more cancer."

Veep

Good God.

"Good God."

Veep

So can I count on your vote?

"So can I count on your vote?"

Veep

Or do I need to shove a box of White House M&Ms

"Or do I need to shove a box of White House M&Ms"

Veep

up your stretched-out, six-baby vag?

"up your stretched-out, six-baby vag?"

Veep

- (GARY GROANS) - (GULPS)

"- (GARY GROANS) - (GULPS)"

Veep

Yes, you can count on my vote.

"Yes, you can count on my vote."

Veep

I think I want to hear

"I think I want to hear"

Veep

an okey-dokey, Annie Oakley.

"an okey-dokey, Annie Oakley."

Veep

Okey-dokey, Annie Oakley.

"Okey-dokey, Annie Oakley."

Veep

Oh, super-duper, trooper.

"Oh, super-duper, trooper."

Veep

Now get the fuck out of here, Congresswoman.

"Now get the fuck out of here, Congresswoman."

Veep

Merry Christmas, Amy.

"Merry Christmas, Amy."

Veep

Oh, Candi Caruso is who you are.

"Oh, Candi Caruso is who you are."

Veep

I'm surprised to see you here after what happened in Nevada.

"I'm surprised to see you here after what happened in Nevada."

Veep

Nev-add-a. I told POTUS that there are other qualified people

"Nev-add-a. I told POTUS that there are other qualified people"

Veep

out there for special advisor, but she insisted she couldn't think of any, so...

"out there for special advisor, but she insisted she couldn't think of any, so..."

Veep

- Oh. Guess what. - Hmm?

"- Oh. Guess what. - Hmm?"

Veep

- I am engaged. Mm-hmm. - (GASPS) Wow!

"- I am engaged. Mm-hmm. - (GASPS) Wow!"

Veep

Who's... who... to whom?

"Who's... who... to whom?"

Veep

Gary Welsh. You know, Gary Welsh.

"Gary Welsh. You know, Gary Welsh."

Veep

- Gary Welsh? Oh! - Gary Welsh at State.

"- Gary Welsh? Oh! - Gary Welsh at State."

Veep

He was supposed to be on this 50 Hottest thing that I'm in,

"He was supposed to be on this 50 Hottest thing that I'm in,"

Veep

but they got his name wrong. They spelled it incorrectly.

"but they got his name wrong. They spelled it incorrectly."

Veep

Turns out there's an actual guy by that name. They put him in instead.

"Turns out there's an actual guy by that name. They put him in instead."

Veep

- That's just a bad thing. - Terrible. Terrible.

"- That's just a bad thing. - Terrible. Terrible."

Veep

I'm sorry to hear that, but happy for you.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but happy for you."

Veep

- Oh! Thank you. - All that.

"- Oh! Thank you. - All that."

Veep

Yeah, okay. Uh-oh, President of the United States needs me.

"Yeah, okay. Uh-oh, President of the United States needs me."

Veep

- So... - Mmm, yeah.

"- So... - Mmm, yeah."

Veep

Take care. (CLEARS THROAT)

"Take care. (CLEARS THROAT)"

Veep

Hey, Opie, grab your coonskin cap and let's get out of here.

"Hey, Opie, grab your coonskin cap and let's get out of here."

Veep

Oh, okay.

"Oh, okay."

Veep

- It wasn't you. - What?

"- It wasn't you. - What?"

Veep

You're not hot. Gary Welsh at State is. You're a typo.

"You're not hot. Gary Welsh at State is. You're a typo."

Veep

But like you said, it's not up here, it's what's in here.

"But like you said, it's not up here, it's what's in here."

Veep

And won't you give my regards to your wife?

"And won't you give my regards to your wife?"

Veep

Yes, ma'am.

"Yes, ma'am."

Veep

She's the head of the Red Cross in Racine, did you know that?

"She's the head of the Red Cross in Racine, did you know that?"

Veep

She's a saint.

"She's a saint."

Veep

You can count on my vote, Madam President.

"You can count on my vote, Madam President."

Veep

- That is a promise. - Oh, yes, it is a promise.

"- That is a promise. - Oh, yes, it is a promise."

Veep

- Yes. Go. Turn, go. - Mm-hmm.

"- Yes. Go. Turn, go. - Mm-hmm."

Veep

Well, ah, I guess this party

"Well, ah, I guess this party"

Veep

is officially now over. So how did we do?

"is officially now over. So how did we do?"

Veep

We're about the same place we were at the beginning of the ball plus Graves.

"We're about the same place we were at the beginning of the ball plus Graves."

Veep

We could have secured Platt, but he never got the picture with his wife's purse.

"We could have secured Platt, but he never got the picture with his wife's purse."

Veep

I just hope things are going good in New Hampshire.

"I just hope things are going good in New Hampshire."

Veep

REPORTER: Good evening. We begin with some shocking footage

"REPORTER: Good evening. We begin with some shocking footage"

Veep

of congressional candidate Jonah Ryan

"of congressional candidate Jonah Ryan"

Veep

all captured on amateur video.

"all captured on amateur video."

Veep

We do have to warn you, though,

"We do have to warn you, though,"

Veep

Ryan's language is extremely graphic.

"Ryan's language is extremely graphic."

Veep

People like you, you look like us,

"People like you, you look like us,"

Veep

but there's a little piece missing.

"but there's a little piece missing."

Veep

You're a different species,

"You're a different species,"

Veep

one that I hope gets struck from the Earth.

"one that I hope gets struck from the Earth."

Veep

Fuck me, Amadeus.

"Fuck me, Amadeus."

Veep

Can't even see the guy that Jonah's yelling at.

"Can't even see the guy that Jonah's yelling at."

Veep

God, Polly's not gonna think that I was yelling at her, will she?

"God, Polly's not gonna think that I was yelling at her, will she?"

Veep

Why don't we call her publicist and find out?

"Why don't we call her publicist and find out?"

Veep

Wait a second. Richard, tell me you have that from the other angle.

"Wait a second. Richard, tell me you have that from the other angle."

Veep

Oh, definitely.

"Oh, definitely."

Veep

TEDDY: Hey, Jonah. I'll get a child size 12, please.

"TEDDY: Hey, Jonah. I'll get a child size 12, please."

Veep

What are you doing here?

"What are you doing here?"

Veep

- (APPLAUSE) - Thank you. Thank you.

"- (APPLAUSE) - Thank you. Thank you."

Veep

I don't know what happened there.

"I don't know what happened there."

Veep

- You did the same fucking thing! - Literally.

"- You did the same fucking thing! - Literally."

Veep

Oh, yeah, you know what? You're right, I did the exact same thing.

"Oh, yeah, you know what? You're right, I did the exact same thing."

Veep

After the national elections,

"After the national elections,"

Veep

the president may have found herself with a bad lie in the rough,

"the president may have found herself with a bad lie in the rough,"

Veep

but after stabilizing the economy,

"but after stabilizing the economy,"

Veep

the House vote is starting to look like a gimme putt.

"the House vote is starting to look like a gimme putt."

Veep

And mark my words, the president will end up atop the leaderboard

"And mark my words, the president will end up atop the leaderboard"

Veep

just like Inbee Park or Lydia Ko

"just like Inbee Park or Lydia Ko"

Veep

or any of the other great female golfers

"or any of the other great female golfers"

Veep

- in the LPGA Tour. - (REPORTERS CLAMORING)

"- in the LPGA Tour. - (REPORTERS CLAMORING)"

Veep

I would like to get back to questions

"I would like to get back to questions"

Veep

about the first daughter's lesbianism.

"about the first daughter's lesbianism."

Veep