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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - The Nuttin' Professor (S06E06)

"One day, they went horseback riding"
Workaholics (2011)
"and dropped me off at a taping of VH1's "Storytellers.""
Workaholics (2011)
"- Can you tell the story faster? 'Cause it's super boring."
Workaholics (2011)
"- No, no, no. Keep this pace."
Workaholics (2011)
"Mm-mmm. That's my tempo."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Anyway, the artist was Natalie Imbruglia,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and she was singing her song, "Torn.""
Workaholics (2011)
"- And then you ejacked in your little boy pants."
Workaholics (2011)
"- No. What are you--okay. Yes, I did."
Workaholics (2011)
"But it was a whole bunch."
Workaholics (2011)
"I fainted, and I had to go to the doctor."
Workaholics (2011)
"So I've jacked off every day since,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and it's been three days, so I think I need first dibs, okay?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Okay. - Great."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. That's fine."
Workaholics (2011)
"I care so little. - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"- So you didn't even need to tell that stupid story."
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"- He's right. That story really fizzled."
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"- It was bad, and they always are."
Workaholics (2011)
"That's the thing about your stories."
Workaholics (2011)
"And no offense-- - Package is at the house."
Workaholics (2011)
"Package is at the house. Let's go."
Workaholics (2011)
"It's almost 5:00, right? We can go, right? Let's go."
Workaholics (2011)
"Let's go. - All right, yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"Now we're talking."
Workaholics (2011)
"[tires screech]"
Workaholics (2011)
"- All right."
Workaholics (2011)
"Whoo!"
Workaholics (2011)
"It's not here."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Huh? - It's not here!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- What? - What are you talking about?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Where is it? - Okay. Don't panic."
Workaholics (2011)
"Probably had a neighbor sign for it."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. That's probably what it is."
Workaholics (2011)
"No reason to panic."
Workaholics (2011)
"[knocking]"
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"Hey. - Hello."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Dean, how's it going?"
Workaholics (2011)
"We're just wondering if you signed for a package for us?"
Workaholics (2011)
"[dogs barking] - No. I didn't for anything."
Workaholics (2011)
"Packages probably got stolen."
Workaholics (2011)
"I've had a bunch taken recently."
Workaholics (2011)
"Honey, can you call the dogs?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Shake the treat box."
Workaholics (2011)
"Shake the treat box! Sorry."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'd say maybe try the neighborhood watch,"
Workaholics (2011)
"although they've been fairly useless recently."
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"- Yeah. Hey, you know what?"
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"We should start a vigilante group of our own"
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"to catch this guy. - God damn it!"
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"Shake the treat box, Vicki!"
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"- No. I'm serious, man."
Workaholics (2011)
"We could be, like, superheroes. We could wear costumes."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Ah, or we couldn't wear costumes"
Workaholics (2011)
"'cause it's a dumb idea, right, Ders?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yup."
Workaholics (2011)
"- And that's why you're my best friend."
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"- That's why I love you, man. - Great."
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"- I really do. Hey, Dean-o, what got stolen?"
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"- Dude, I ordered this awesome inflatable chair,"
Workaholics (2011)
"this cowboy boot-shaped mug."
Workaholics (2011)
"You guys should come over sometime."
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"We can do beers, watch a Blues game."
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"- Yeah. You know, maybe we will."
Workaholics (2011)
"And thanks for the help today. Appreciate it."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Well, good luck, guys. - Yeah, thanks."
Workaholics (2011)
"You're a good guy."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Blues game."
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"- Okay, yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"I stole some things from Dean."
Workaholics (2011)
"- We need to trap this guy who stole our package"
Workaholics (2011)
"and get our tape back so I can evacuate."
Workaholics (2011)
"- And that's why vigilante group is a great idea."
Workaholics (2011)
"- I don't think so. - Check it out."
Workaholics (2011)
"Beat-Ass. - I don't like that."
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"- That's just Kick-Ass. - No."
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"- Yeah. It's Kick-Ass, basically."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Adam, I heard you, since you had this conversation"
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"on my front step."
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"I want my stuff back, buddy."
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"- Scoot! Scoot!"
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"- Go, go! - Scoot!"
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"- Bye, Dean! - All right."
Workaholics (2011)
"So you're buried in the ground. - I am, yes."
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"- Now, I'm gonna put this box over your head, right,"
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"and I wrote "valuable electronics:"
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"do not touch" on it."
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"When he takes the box--"
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"[hisses]"
Workaholics (2011)
"Spray him with the mace. - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Meanwhile, Blake and I, we're gonna be over here in the 'Vo."
Workaholics (2011)
"We're gonna jump out. We're gonna pounce."
Workaholics (2011)
"- No, no, no, no, no. Gnargoyle doesn't sit in cars."
Workaholics (2011)
"I already told you this. He perches high above the city,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and then swoops down on his zip line when the city needs him."
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"- Your shirt says "eat-ass.""
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"- What?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, God dang it."
Workaholics (2011)
"The "B" keeps falling off."
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"- Hey, how are you gonna be fighting crime"
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"when you're busy eating ass all day?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- You're not gonna be laughing when the Gnargoyle swoops down"
Workaholics (2011)
"and wreaks vigilante justice upon the city."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah. You want to know what else isn't funny?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Made a Facebook page for Beat-Ass."
Workaholics (2011)
"Already got two likes. - That's cool."
Workaholics (2011)
"You found two guys on the Internet"
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"who wanted to get together and eat each other's butts."
Workaholics (2011)
"Very cool. - [laughs]"
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh! That was the best one yet."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Evil lurks in Cucamonga."
Workaholics (2011)
"A hero waits."
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"His lower thigh's really starting to hurt from perching."
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"- Hey, guys?"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm getting hungry."
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"Can one of you go make me a grilled cheese?"
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"- Shh! Quiet!"
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"You're gonna ruin this. You believe this guy?"
Workaholics (2011)
"It's like this is his first stakeout or something."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Shut up. Someone's coming. Someone's coming."
Workaholics (2011)
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