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Clips from Orange Is the New Black - I Wasn't Ready (S01E01)

"I've always loved getting clean."
Orange Is the New Black
"I love baths."
Orange Is the New Black
"I love showers."
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"It's my happy place."
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"Was my happy place."
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"All inmates in D dorm must be checked for lice."
Orange Is the New Black
"Repeat, all inmates in D dorm must be checked for lice."
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"I'll be out in a sec. I swear."
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"I'll wait. There best be some hot water left."
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"There wasn't very much when I started."
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"Man, hurry!."
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"All right, okay, okay."
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"I'm done. I'm out. I'm totally out."
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"Damn, you got some nice titties."
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"-Thank you. -You got them TV titties."
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"They stand up on they own all perky and everything."
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"Okay."
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"You know they sell flip-flops at the commissary."
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"My money's not in yet, so."
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"You creative. I give you that, high-tits."
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"Now get the fuck out the way."
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"Okay."
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"So, there's an entire pig in there?"
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"Yes."
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"For four of us?"
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"It's a small pig. I really wanted to use the box."
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"It was my birthday present."
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"She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig-roasting box."
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"At least you get something."
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"I'm not getting laid for a year, too, but what do I get?"
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"A baby?"
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"But you can't eat it."
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"-Are we really gonna eat that? -It's thematic."
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"You're not serving time in Cuba."
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"Pigs. Cops."
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"How the fuck are you going to jail tomorrow?"
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"Prison, not jail."
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"You're missing my shower."
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"Polly, I'm really sorry."
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"I know."
Orange Is the New Black
"You focus on how you're gonna maintain your eyebrows behind bars."
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"You may not come back with a unibrow."
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"Am I allowed to cry?"
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"No. Seriously, no."
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"Okay, we are ready. Everybody inside."
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"-Need a hoist? -Yeah."
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"Big girl."
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"On to the last supper."
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"-We got to do it. -I know."
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"God, we really should not have eaten so much."
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"I know. Come on, we gotta rally."
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"Okay."
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"-Make some memories, you know? -Yeah."
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"You need some spank-bank material."
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"Oh, well, I mean, when you say it like that."
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"-Wait, I got... -What?"
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"-I gotta pee. -What? No."
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"-Yeah. -Really?"
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"I just..."
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"I'll be... I'll be right back."
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"Hey."
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"Yeah?"
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"You look beautiful."
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"Thanks."
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"Oh, shit."
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"What?"
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"You look beautiful, too."
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"Come on. Get in."
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"Hey. You're crying."
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"Just fuck me."
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"Piper."
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"Shut up."
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"Please. Please."
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"Okay."
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"No visiting today."
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"Hi, I'm here to surrender."
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"Oh, okay, then."
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"Did he look surprised to you?"
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"When I said that I was here to surrender? Didn't he look surprised?"
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"Like, What the hell is she doing here?"
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"-I didn't notice. -Well, he looked surprised to me."
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"I look like shit. My eyes are all puffy."
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"You're worried about how you look?"
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"Well, they're gonna know that I was crying."
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"It's a sign of weakness. You can't show any weakness."
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"That's what all of the books said."
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"Oh, sweetie..."
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"Don't call me sweetie."
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"Oh, Leonard."
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"That's better."
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"I can't take it with me."
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"Okay. Right."
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"What are you doing?"
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"What?"
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"You can't put that in your pocket."
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"It's gonna end up at the bottom of the washing machine."
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"Okay."
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"Where would you like me to put it then, Piper?"
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"Up your ass."
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"There's no room. Apparently, my head's already up there."
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"I'm sorry."
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"It's okay."
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"You know what?"
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"I'm gonna put it in my wallet. Okay?"
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"And when I get home, I will put it in your jewelry box."
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"Until I'm short on rent, then I may hock it. But I'll try to get it back before you're out."
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"We should go."
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"Okay."
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"Okay."
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"Self-surrender."
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"Yeah, well, no one told me either."
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"Available guards..."
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"Got the paperwork right here."
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"Name is Chapman."
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"Yeah. Chap, like when your lips get all dry they're chapped."
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"Have a seat."
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"Piper. Rhymes with sniper."
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"Inmate Robinson to the visitor area."
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"You hungry?"
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"Not really."
Orange Is the New Black
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