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Clips from Mike Tyson Mysteries - Mike Tysonland (S03E03)

"No dressing at all, just a lemon wedge, hmm?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Maybe a slice of cheesecake."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, please. They only had one room left?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"All the other rooms are booked?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean, is this the tourist season of the middle of nowhere?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Yeah, well, on the bright side they have the HBO."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh no, the power button is stuck."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And I don't want to know what it's stuck with."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Now, the question of the night. Who sleeps with whom?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-I call Pigeon. I want to sleep with the pigeon. -What?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You take up such little room, it's like sleeping with a stuffed animal."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Aww."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Good thinking, Toby. Getting them all into one room."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Thanks, Uncle Jeff."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Easier to keep track of these slippery sons' of bitches."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's what I was thinking, Uncle Steve."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's exactly what I was thinking."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"They're definitely feds."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Only the government would think to put together"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"a white, a black and a Chinese."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Uh-huh, uh-huh. -Don't forget the bird, Uncle Steve."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know why they're here, don't you?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-To take our guns! -BOTH: No!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL BLABBING) -Uh-huh, uh-huh."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-UNCLE JEFF: That's what they're here to do. -Hey, everybody!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Uncle Davey! -Don't worry about Davey."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We got bigger fish to fry!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Uncle Mike, Uncle Terry, take a look at this."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Is it a man and woman screwing?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(CHUCKLES) I enjoy watching that stuff. -No, no!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's, it's undercover federal agents."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, then you know who we need to call."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Uncle Dick? -ALL: Uncle Dick."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Yeah. -Dick is involved."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(PHONE BEEPS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"PHONE: How may I help you?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Call Dick. -(PHONE BEEPS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-PHONE: Sorry, I'm not sure what you said. -(PHONE BEEPS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Call Dick!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(PHONE BEEPS) -PHONE: Sorry, I'm not sure what you said."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(PHONE BEEPS) -Dick, dick!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(PHONE BEEPS) -ALL: (REPEATEDLY) Dick!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Dick! -Tell it Dick!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"My, God! Get Dick on my horn."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"God dang it, I need some Dick in my ear!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"PIGEON: My God, I owe you an apology. This is beautiful."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And only 10 hours from where we live. We can come here all the time."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Okay, we have seen it, now can we go?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: I know what I want to do with this land."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What I need to do with this land."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I grew up in the city on the main streets. Gangs, violence..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But what if I could pick that all the way,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and put it somewhere so it can't hurt anybody, anymore."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"God, dang it! Why, can you hear anything?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I can't hear, jack-(BLEEP). Hey Dick!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Dick! What's going on with your equipment?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? The chord won't reach!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You guys got it all tangled!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Well, jerk it, Dick. -Give it a jerk, Dick."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Jerk that, Dick."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, I'm jerking it but it's not coming!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, for God's sake, tug on it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Tug that, Dick, and it'll come!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-UNCLE JEFF: Listen to him, tug it! -(ALL BLABBING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"UNCLE MIKE: Give it a release!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Spit on the thing! -UNCLE JEFF: He's doing it! He's doing it!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"UNCLE MIKE: Grip it and tug it!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(EXCLAIMS) -(ALL BLABBING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(CHUCKLES)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(POWERS UP)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: Okay guys, listen... This is what we're gonna do."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We're gonna take away everyone's guns and bring them here,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and melt them down,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"so that no one has guns anymore."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean at least no private citizen."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And of course the police can keep their guns."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You heard the government man!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Let's get 'em! -(ALL CHEERING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Or I could use this land to build a theme park"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"like Dollywood or some shit."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Mike Tysonland."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Roller coasters, Ferris wheels, cotton candy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL CHEERING) -(ENGINES REVVING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I don't know anything about guns."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know hunters are sportsmen, that seems okay."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And you gotta protect your family."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But then, I can see the other side too."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's why I really shouldn't get involved."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What is that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL CHEERING) -(ENGINES REVVING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What are those?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Vehicles?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL CHEERING) -(ENGINES REVVING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Is that the kid from the motel?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(GASPS) I bet I left my eye cream in the motel room,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and they're bringing it to me."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, well, that is good customer--"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SCREAMS) They're shooting at us!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(INDISTINCTLY CHATTERING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, somebody shot me!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Oh no, Mike! -Uncle Mike!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Now, I'm falling out of the truck!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's falling out of the truck!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Push him out! His time has come!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Keep going!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL BLABBING) -Faster! Faster!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, damn. I don't think we could build a theme park."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(SHOOTING IN THE DISTANCE) -One, I don't know anything about building a theme park."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(SHOOTING AND CHEERING) -Two, I just remembered,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-there's a mile-and-a-half deep cement line pit... -(GUNS FIRING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-...somewhere around here. -(ALL SCREAMING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What happened?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, Marquess."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm sorry, but I don't think you're getting back your eye cream."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"INTERVIEWER: Tell me about Tyson town."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"If I had Tyson Town..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It would be, um, it would be more like a jumping park for kids."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know, have all these big giant jumpy things."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Castles, the eggs, and they jump on everything."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
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