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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Call Me When You Get There (S01E01)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,"
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"you had cars that could travel through time,"
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"cars that caught ghosts,"
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"and cars that could talk to David Hasselhoff."
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"So when my brother Barry got his license..."
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"He was finally free!"
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"(STARTS ENGINE)"
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"(SCREAMS) Oh!"
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"Unfortunately, with my mom, you're never free."
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"Tush inside. Now."
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"What the hell?"
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"Are you just sitting back there waiting for me? Yes."
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"Tush!"
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"Rule number seven..."
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"Total focus on the road."
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"No eating, no passengers, no music."
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"What? No music."
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"Rule number eight..."
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"Doors must be locked and windows rolled up at all times."
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"All times. That's insane!"
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"Which brings us to number nine..."
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"You only drive in safe areas."
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"That means..."
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"Stay within the green zone."
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"You got a map with plastic overlays?"
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"Who does that?"
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"I do."
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"And rule number ten, and this is the most important rule..."
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"Call me when you get there."
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"Always call me when you get there."
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"Why do I have to call you when I get there?"
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"I'm there. I know I'm there."
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"But I don't know. For all I know,"
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"you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere,"
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"lying facedown in a ditch."
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"Do the dishes, damn it!"
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"Ditches, okay?"
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"You're just blindly agreeing with her"
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"and have no idea what she's even talking about."
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"Oh, oh, I know what she's talking about."
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"Right there. Learn your state capitals."
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"But you're too much of a big shot to study."
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"Let me tell you somethin', mister."
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"College is right around the corner,"
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"and you need to shape up or ship out."
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"We're talking about her stupid driving rules, dad."
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"Can you stick up for me here? For once? Please?"
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"And for the first time, my father actually took my brother's side."
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"No."
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"(LAUGHS) No, wait. That never happened."
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"The amount of suck in this room is unreal!"
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"I'm going to the movies."
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"Call me when you get there!"
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"But out of principle,"
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"Barry did not call when he got there"
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"because he knew that out in the world,"
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"he was beyond my mother's reach."
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"MAN: Barry Goldberg?"
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"Is there a Barry Goldberg here? (MOVIE PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)"
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"Barry Goldberg?"
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"Um, yeah?"
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"You didn't call your mother to tell her you arrived here safely."
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"She's very worried, dude. Not cool."
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"(LAUGHTER)"
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"♪ I'm twisted up inside"
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"♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"♪ I don't know the future"
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"♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was October 18th, 1980-something,"
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"and my sister and I were watching"
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"the most entertaining thing we'd ever seen..."
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"My dad trying to work the VCR."
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"Every time it ended like this."
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"The damn thing's broken!"
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"It's not broken. Just let me do it. No!"
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"I'm tired of coming to you for this"
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"every single time I work late."
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"All right? Gotta do it myself."
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""Teach a man to fish." You ever heard that saying?"
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"You promised to teach me to fish two birthdays ago."
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"Stop aggravating me! This is important!"
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"The Phillies are in the world series!"
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"It might be another century before this happens again."
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"Dad, you've been messing with that for ten minutes."
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"Just let Adam do it."
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"No. Hey."
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"Just give me the remote. Give me the remote."
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"Here. Let me do this."
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"What the hell?"
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"It's covered in buttons! Covered!"
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"Don't bother with the buttons. Use the voice command."
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"Right, Erica?"
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"Right. Um, it's new."
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"Just hold the remote and speak into the top."
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"Huh."
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"Record world series."
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"Nothing. Get your lips closer, dad."
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"Oh, I see. Right there."
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"(LOUDLY) Record."
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"Record."
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"Nothing!"
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"It's not identifying your voice."
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"You gotta say your name."
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"My name is..."
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"Murray..."
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"Goldberg!"
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"(ADAM AND ERICA LAUGHING)"
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"Like it understands him."
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"All right. Just record the damn game."
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"(PANTING) Where is she?"
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"Where's the woman who gave me life and nothing more, huh?"
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"Whoa, whoa, stop. I've been waiting for you,"
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"and we need to talk."
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"Busy. I gotta kill mom."
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"Um, no. You're coming with me."
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"Leave me alone, or so help me God..."
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"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
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"Ow! Ow! Ow!"
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"Why'd you have to purple my nurple?"
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