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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Skipping School/Cooking the Books (S01E01)

"- He skipped school? - How clueless am I?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Goodbye, world!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[crowd gasping] Ah! Oof."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What kind of idiot lands in a bush?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, that was so anticlimactic."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, skipping school?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's not okay. - I'm sorry."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, you wanna use the handcuffs?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes, handcuffs! - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, come here, you little son of a bitch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What? No, get off."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Here we go. Oh, don't resist."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I literally left school for 45 minutes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What about me? You don't wanna cuff me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I stole a bus, and I almost stole some tacos."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, that's funny, Dakota."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're so responsible, often I think"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you should be the principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, let's go. Downtown, buddy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? This whole persona"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"is just not getting any traction."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Look, it's a running bus right here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If nobody's gonna question it,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we should take it for another spin, right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know, I feel like you're the only one"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"who gets it at this school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[upbeat music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[noble music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- "Not great at math.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What kind of idiot would write that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Look at this kid. Going nowhere real fast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- "Not great at math?" I'm gonna destroy this guy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, Randy, what's new?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"How's that applesauce? Good? - Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You know I don't like talking about applesauce."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"They take an apple, they mush it up,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"they make it sauce, we eat it. End of story."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry, Randy. - "I'm not great at math?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What? What's wrong? - Come on, Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You need to run this stuff by me first."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I promised my mom I'd be honest."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I thought people would find it disarmingly charming."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's too honest. Look at the posters."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"People are not even defacing the posters."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's how bad it is. - The reaction has been tepid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, let's not panic."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We can save this with a good speech."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, yeah, I've got a speech that's gonna"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"knock your dick off. - Excuse me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't tell anyone I said that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not allowed to curse. - We just gonna let that slide."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Just run the speech by me, baby, let's go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, it goes, "Hi, my name is Tom,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and I apologize for my appearance.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why am I friends with this guy?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, and then it kicks into high gear."
10-Year-Old-Tom
""Sure, I'm not great at math,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""and sure, I don't tuck in my shirts,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""but someone has to be the treasurer."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So why not me? Vote for Tom.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, this is the worst speech I've ever heard."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What part don't you like? - Hey, mind if I join you guys?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, woah, you eat in the cafeteria?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Technically, I never graduated from this school,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so yes, my student ID still works."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You still go here? - Yes, I'm basically enrolled."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm one of you. I'm amongst my peers here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't touch me. - Get out of my way, kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's my seat. It's been my seat for 26 years."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I hate this. I hate you guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So what are we talking about?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom's running for office,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but he's not comfortable"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"with the concept of lying."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You don't need to lie, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You need to learn to stretch the truth."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What does that mean?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You talk in a way that's deceiving"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but not technically a lie."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay? - Let me give you an example."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You can't say something like,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""I will be a good treasurer," 'cause you won't."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Of course not. I'll be the worst."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You say, "I believe I will be a good treasurer.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, that's good. That is nice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, this is like a whole new language."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can you help me rewrite my speech? We've got an hour."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, I got nothing but time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and then again from 2:00 to 2:20 p.m."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Otherwise, I'm good to go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So in conclusion, as treasurer,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I will work hard and do what's best"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for the school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And more importantly,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I am not Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Thank you. Not Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, he's, uh, not Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Next up for treasurer is-- and don't boo people."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Please, come on, be nice, listen to him."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Please welcome Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This guy sounds trustworthy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Anyone who knows me knows I'm a..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"real straight shooting son of a B."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The kinda guy you can have a beer with"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if you're old enough to drink beer."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tell 'em, Tom. Preach!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't know much about math, but here's what I do know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I believe school should be fun."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, yes, that's interesting."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I believe"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we should have a rock climbing wall in the gym."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"How does that sound? - Yes!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I believe! - What? That's so dangerous."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I believe we should have free gum"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"being shot out of a cannon... - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- As we walk to and from the bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's what I believe."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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