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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Skipping School/Cooking the Books (S01E01)

"- Yeah, just a couple of Fiesta Party Packs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - And then we'll just"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"settle the bill later. So, you know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So you want me to give them to you on a tray"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and then watch you come back and pay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You don't have to watch anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Just typical restaurant stuff, you know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This isn't a restaurant. This is fast food."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just give us the food. Be cool, come on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You see this guy behind me? - Yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, that's the assistant manager."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Do you know how freaking hard he would get"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if he could fire me for this?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I just want to be clear, we're not, like,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"dining and dashing or anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It sounds like you're trying to dine and dash."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why, 'cause I just said we're not dining and dashing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, bye. - Very disappointing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Very disappointing restaurant experience."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Go ahead and write a review."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I dare you to take the time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- As soon as I get a phone and open a Yelp account,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"this place is gonna hear it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Lord, save me"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if I'm still here when that happens."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, Tom! - I'm sorry."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Rule number one of dining and dashing,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"don't discuss dashing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, well, that didn't work."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's head back to school and--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No! Since you screwed up the heist,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we have to do something else."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's, uh--I don't know. Let's hitchhike."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, you're out of control."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's take a vote. Nelson, do you wanna hitchhike?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, I gotta go with Dakota."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson, please, come on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You blew it with the dining and dash,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so we gotta take it to another level."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Here's the plan: find the creepiest weirdo we can"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and get in their vehicle."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[horn honks]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, kids. What's up?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You guys need a ride? - Sorry, buddy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're not creepy enough. Keep it moving."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, down the block I go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's just--come on, let's go back to school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Are you feeling okay, Dakota?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't go back to school"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"until I commit a crime so heinous"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that my mom disowns me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I thought that was you guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Hop in, you crazy rascals."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No way. - No?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's known to us. - This is perfect."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's creepy, but he's a familiar face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is cool."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I've never hitchhiked before. - You still haven't."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I was sitting in the same seat two hours ago."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, but now we're hitchhiking."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I mean, once your thumb is up,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"it's against the law."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What are you guys arguing about?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I hear you talking about thumbing things."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm nervous. - Oh, we skipped school,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and now we just tooling around town."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ooh, I like that. You're pulling a Bueller!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A what? - All right, I wanna help."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's just go back to school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry, for nostalgic reasons,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I need to facilitate any Bueller-related activities."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Strap in, kids! - Whoo!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, don't turn around. What are you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I have to. - Stop, stop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Back it up right now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, over shot it a little bit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[glass shatters] That's bad."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now I'm gonna gun it forward."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And we are off!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You should not be a bus driver."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ...can't see what my hands are doing, though."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um, sub? - I have a name."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"My name is Mr. Shifrin. I've said that repeatedly."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, okay, so my friend, Dakota,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"she's been gone for, like, a really long time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can I go check the halls for her?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, you cannot go check the halls."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I've got this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The only kids missing are Hank and Irv,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but they had simultaneous chiropractor appointments."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Are you an idiot?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why does everybody keep asking me that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Kids haven't had names like that for, like, 50 years."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, God, no. Oh, come on, Kevin."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Get your shit together!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Stupid, stupid, stupid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I go?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, kids."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I am taking you to the sketchiest,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"sleaziest strip mall in the tri-state area."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Cool."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They had a pack of wild rats"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"living in one of the pretzel stores for a long time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, this sounds dangerous. My mom doesn't like me"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"hanging around with wild rats."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean, as a kid,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I got in so much trouble here"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for doing doughnuts,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"giving rim jobs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"A cop pepper-sprayed me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All kinds of fun kid stuff."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ah, I love it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, come on, man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is the sleazy strip mall?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[jazzy music playing over speakers]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, looks like it's changed a little from back in the day."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Where are all the rats? - Yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You've really played up the rats too much."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, on the plus side,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
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