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Clips from The Court Jester

"Ah, Ravenhurst, the fellow has wit! Ah, I must say,"
The Court Jester
"I was shocked to hear about the Duchess. What did the Duke do?"
The Court Jester
"Pardon?"
The Court Jester
"The Duke. What did the Duke do?"
The Court Jester
"Eh... the Duke do?"
The Court Jester
"Yes. And what about the Douge ?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, the Douge!"
The Court Jester
"Eh. Well what did the Douge do?"
The Court Jester
"The Douge do? - Yes, the Douge do."
The Court Jester
"Well, uh, the Douge did what the Douge does. Eh, uh,"
The Court Jester
"Oh, when the Douge does his duty to the Duke, that is."
The Court Jester
"What? What's that?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, it's very simple, sire."
The Court Jester
"When the Douge did his duty and the Duke didn't,"
The Court Jester
"that's when the Duchess did the dirt to the Duke with the Douge."
The Court Jester
"Who did what to what?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, they all did, sire. There they were in the dark;"
The Court Jester
"The Duke with his dagger, the Douge with his dart, Duchess with her dirk."
The Court Jester
"Duchess with her dirk? - Yes!"
The Court Jester
"The Duchess dove at the Duke just when the Duke dove at the Douge."
The Court Jester
"Now the Duke ducked, the Douge dodged, and the Duchess didn't."
The Court Jester
"So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess got the Douge, and the Douge got the Duke!"
The Court Jester
"Curious. I... I... hm? What? What's that?"
The Court Jester
"All I heard was that the Duchess had a siege of rheumatism. She's 83, you know."
The Court Jester
"Oh, come next summer, sire."
The Court Jester
"So's the Duke. - So's the Duke."
The Court Jester
"Remarkable, those Italians, what?"
The Court Jester
"Made the whole thing up, didn't you? Ho ha."
The Court Jester
"Very witty, very clever. Just what this court needs"
The Court Jester
"Laughter, gaiety, songs, wenches... oh, yes. Wenches."
The Court Jester
"I'm just on my way to inspect the lot of them."
The Court Jester
"Who knows, I may find some luscious..."
The Court Jester
"Oh, sire."
The Court Jester
"If I may suggest, it ill befits the propriety of your high office"
The Court Jester
"to be seen with these unkempt wenches. - Wha...?"
The Court Jester
"It is said the incomparable Giacomo has a discerning eye for beauty."
The Court Jester
"Eh, why not let him select a suitable companion for your majesty?"
The Court Jester
"Excellent! Excellent!"
The Court Jester
"I trust the jester's reputation is based on many years of accomplishment?"
The Court Jester
"Why do you think they call me incomparable, sire? Get it?"
The Court Jester
"Got it. - Good."
The Court Jester
"Bring her to my chambers. Within the hour?"
The Court Jester
"Within the hour."
The Court Jester
"Finish with the king and come to my chambers."
The Court Jester
"Within the hour."
The Court Jester
"Eh, about that song, sir..."
The Court Jester
"Some other time, my good man."
The Court Jester
"Yes, Fergus, get on with your work!"
The Court Jester
"The good captain will escort you to your quarters. - Very well."
The Court Jester
"Are you sure we haven't met before?"
The Court Jester
"Quite sure."
The Court Jester
"Within the hour."
The Court Jester
"Your Giacomo seems more the fool than the assassin."
The Court Jester
"Or perchance a brilliant combination of both."
The Court Jester
"We shall see."
The Court Jester
"I'm Giacomo, Giacomo, my fame before me rings,"
The Court Jester
"king of jesters, and jester of kings!"
The Court Jester
"What are you doing here?"
The Court Jester
"I'm Fergus, the Ostler."
The Court Jester
"Whobis the whatsler?"
The Court Jester
"Fergus the Ostler. It is I, not Ravenhurst who is your friend."
The Court Jester
"Look, my good man, you pick your friends and I shall pick mine."
The Court Jester
"At the moment, I have a very important mission with the king."
The Court Jester
"After all, I'm the incomparable Giacomo, king of jesters and jester of kings."
The Court Jester
"I have entertained in all the courts of Europe"
The Court Jester
"and speak a ready wit in their every tongue. Uh who are you?"
The Court Jester
"I am Griselda."
The Court Jester
"Gruhwhoolda?"
The Court Jester
"Griselda. I bring you a message from the princess."
The Court Jester
"Uh, the royal princess?"
The Court Jester
"She finds you most attractive and would like to meet you."
The Court Jester
"M-m-me? - Yes."
The Court Jester
"She finds you passing fair, passing graceful."
The Court Jester
"Oh, uh, tell her thank you very much but I'm just passing through."
The Court Jester
"One does not ordinarily refuse princesses..."
The Court Jester
"Well, one doesn't ordinarily, but you see..."
The Court Jester
"Is it possible there's someone else of whom you are fond?"
The Court Jester
"Uh y-yes, as a matter of fact there is."
The Court Jester
"Giacomo, would you look in my eye?"
The Court Jester
"Eye?"
The Court Jester
"Yes, it's been troubling me,"
The Court Jester
"and I thought that the great Giacomo would have a knowledge of science."
The Court Jester
"Eh s-science. Well, yes,"
The Court Jester
"as a matter of fact I have a great deal of scientific knowledge."
The Court Jester
"We have b-b-which eye?"
The Court Jester
"Both. Look at them both."
The Court Jester
"Closer, closer. Deeper,"
The Court Jester
"deeper. Deeper, deeper."
The Court Jester
"Tails of lizards, ears of swine,"
The Court Jester
"chicken gizzards soaked in brine,"
The Court Jester
"now thine eyes and mine entwine, thy will is broken,"
The Court Jester
"thou are mine!"
The Court Jester
"Repeat after me. I am craven and thou art my master!"
The Court Jester
"I am craven and thou art my master!"
The Court Jester
"Stand there, fool. - Stand there, fool."
The Court Jester
"Silence! - Silence!"
The Court Jester
"You are in my power and will obey my every command."
The Court Jester
"Every command..."
The Court Jester
"And remember, any time I choose,"
The Court Jester
"a mere snap of my fingers can bring you out of the spell like this!"
The Court Jester
"And back like that!"
The Court Jester
"Do you understand, fool?"
The Court Jester
"Yes, master. You can snap me in and snap me out."
The Court Jester
"Now, listen closely."
The Court Jester
"First and foremost, you must convince the girl that this is a miracle,"
The Court Jester
"that you have been sent here by the gods."
The Court Jester
"To do that, you must go to her room and make love!"
The Court Jester
"Go and make love to the princess!"
The Court Jester
"The princess..."
The Court Jester
"At once! Wait! Not like that!"
The Court Jester
"You are a figure of romance;"
The Court Jester
"of spirit and action, but at the same time humble and tender."
The Court Jester
"You are a man of iron with the soul of a poet."
The Court Jester
"You are adventurous, gay, but with a lovers brooding melancholy,"
The Court Jester
"and above all, you must show passion!"
The Court Jester
"Show passion!"
The Court Jester
"Not me, you fool! Now go. Make love."
The Court Jester
"Climb the vine to the tower where your love awaits you! Stop!"
The Court Jester
"Above all, remember you must be cavalier, dashing!"
The Court Jester
"Fear not, master!"
The Court Jester
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