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Clips from Cheers - Norman's Conquest (S02E02)

I'M AT CHEERS. IT'S 8:05. UH...

"I'M AT CHEERS. IT'S 8:05. UH..."

Cheers

YOU NEED ME, YOU'VE GOT THE NUMBER HERE. BYE.

"YOU NEED ME, YOU'VE GOT THE NUMBER HERE. BYE."

Cheers

NORM, WHEN'D YOU GET THE ANSWERING MACHINE?

"NORM, WHEN'D YOU GET THE ANSWERING MACHINE?"

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I DIDN'T, COACH. THAT WAS VERA.

"I DIDN'T, COACH. THAT WAS VERA."

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NORM...

"NORM..."

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NORMAN, I THINK THAT YOU BETTER GIVE THE LADY WHAT SHE WANTS.

"NORMAN, I THINK THAT YOU BETTER GIVE THE LADY WHAT SHE WANTS."

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SHE IS A CLIENT. IF YOU DON'T COME ACROSS,

"SHE IS A CLIENT. IF YOU DON'T COME ACROSS,"

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SHE'SGONNA DROP YOU LIKE A BAD HABIT.

"SHE'SGONNA DROP YOU LIKE A BAD HABIT."

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NORMAN, HAS IT COME TO THIS?

"NORMAN, HAS IT COME TO THIS?"

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ARE YOU GOING TO SELL YOUR VIRTUE

"ARE YOU GOING TO SELL YOUR VIRTUE"

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TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO BUYS YOU A DRINK IN A BAR?

"TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO BUYS YOU A DRINK IN A BAR?"

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IF YOU WERE A WOMAN, I THINK WE'D HAVE A NAME FOR YOU.

"IF YOU WERE A WOMAN, I THINK WE'D HAVE A NAME FOR YOU."

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I KIND OF LIKE "BECKY."

"I KIND OF LIKE "BECKY.""

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I REALIZE "NORMA" IS CLOSER--YOU JUST HAVE TO ADD "U-H"--BUT...

"I REALIZE "NORMA" IS CLOSER--YOU JUST HAVE TO ADD "U-H"--BUT..."

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COULD EVERYBODY PLEASE JUST BACK OFF FOR A SECOND?

"COULD EVERYBODY PLEASE JUST BACK OFF FOR A SECOND?"

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I MEAN, SINCE WHEN DOES MY PRIVATE LIFE

"I MEAN, SINCE WHEN DOES MY PRIVATE LIFE"

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BECOME THE SUBJECT OF PUBLIC DEBATE?

"BECOME THE SUBJECT OF PUBLIC DEBATE?"

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YOU BACKING OUT, NORM?

"YOU BACKING OUT, NORM?"

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COME ON, COME ON, GUYS. LAY OFF.

"COME ON, COME ON, GUYS. LAY OFF."

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OK, SAM, OK.

"OK, SAM, OK."

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HEY, NORM, WE WERE JUST KIDDING WITH YOU.

"HEY, NORM, WE WERE JUST KIDDING WITH YOU."

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WE KNEW YOU REALLY WOULDN'T DO IT.

"WE KNEW YOU REALLY WOULDN'T DO IT."

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YEAH, WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF GUY HE IS.

"YEAH, WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF GUY HE IS."

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Patron: YEAH, WE KNOW HE WOULDN'T CHEAT ON VERA.

"Patron: YEAH, WE KNOW HE WOULDN'T CHEAT ON VERA."

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[GUYS MAKE KISSING SOUNDS]

"[GUYS MAKE KISSING SOUNDS]"

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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NORM, LOOK...

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NORM, LOOK..."

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WE'LL EVEN SING YOUR WEDDING SONG FOR YOU.

"WE'LL EVEN SING YOUR WEDDING SONG FOR YOU."

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READY, GUYS? SURE.

"READY, GUYS? SURE."

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AND...

"AND..."

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* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, YES, DEAR *

"* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, YES, DEAR *"

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* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, OF COURSE *

"* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, OF COURSE *"

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* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, RIGHT AWAY *

"* DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, RIGHT AWAY *"

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YOU GUYS THINK I'M THE WORLD'S

"YOU GUYS THINK I'M THE WORLD'S"

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HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WUSS, DON'T YOU?

"HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WUSS, DON'T YOU?"

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UNCHALLENGED.

"UNCHALLENGED."

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ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK AND EAT MY DUST.

"ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK AND EAT MY DUST."

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STORMIN' NORMAN IS PRIMED FOR LOVE.

"STORMIN' NORMAN IS PRIMED FOR LOVE."

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YOU, UH, BETTER HURRY UP, NORM.

"YOU, UH, BETTER HURRY UP, NORM."

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SHE'S ON HER WAY OUT.

"SHE'S ON HER WAY OUT."

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HEY, UH, HEY, EMILY.

"HEY, UH, HEY, EMILY."

Cheers

HEY, EMILY, UH, WAIT UP.

"HEY, EMILY, UH, WAIT UP."

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WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO DITCH ME?

"WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO DITCH ME?"

Cheers

LOOK, NORM, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU'D RATHER BE WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

"LOOK, NORM, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU'D RATHER BE WITH YOUR FRIENDS."

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I JUST FEEL IN THE WAY HERE.

"I JUST FEEL IN THE WAY HERE."

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LOOK, THAT WAS RUDE. I-I'M SORRY.

"LOOK, THAT WAS RUDE. I-I'M SORRY."

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I'D JUST, UH, LIKE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU IF I COULD.

"I'D JUST, UH, LIKE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU IF I COULD."

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NO, IT'S OK.

"NO, IT'S OK."

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NO, UH, PLEASE.

"NO, UH, PLEASE."

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LET ME BUY YOU DINNER OR SOMETHING.

"LET ME BUY YOU DINNER OR SOMETHING."

Cheers

THAT MIGHT BE NICE.

"THAT MIGHT BE NICE."

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THING IS, THOUGH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE ANYMORE.

"THING IS, THOUGH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE ANYMORE."

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YEAH, ME, NEITHER.

"YEAH, ME, NEITHER."

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I GUESS, UM, I COULD FIX A LITTLE SOMETHING OVER AT MY PLACE.

"I GUESS, UM, I COULD FIX A LITTLE SOMETHING OVER AT MY PLACE."

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SOUNDS GOOD.

"SOUNDS GOOD."

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Sam: NORM, NORM, NORM...

"Sam: NORM, NORM, NORM..."

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NORM...

"NORM..."

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JUST A SEC.

"JUST A SEC."

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YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO."

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I KNOW, I KNOW.

"I KNOW, I KNOW."

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JUST ONE QUESTION, SAM.

"JUST ONE QUESTION, SAM."

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HAVE THERE BEEN ANY INNOVATIONS

"HAVE THERE BEEN ANY INNOVATIONS"

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IN THE WOMEN'S UNDERGARMENT INDUSTRY SINCE 1965?

"IN THE WOMEN'S UNDERGARMENT INDUSTRY SINCE 1965?"

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NO.

"NO."

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Diane: OH, I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN NORMAN.

"Diane: OH, I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN NORMAN."

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DIANE...

"DIANE..."

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THE PROBLEM YOU'RE HAVING IS JUST

"THE PROBLEM YOU'RE HAVING IS JUST"

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A SIMPLE LACK OF UNDERSTANDING

"A SIMPLE LACK OF UNDERSTANDING"

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OF THE MALE OF THE SPECIES.

"OF THE MALE OF THE SPECIES."

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SEE, MAN WAS NOT MADE TO BE MONOGAMOUS.

"SEE, MAN WAS NOT MADE TO BE MONOGAMOUS."

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IT'S AN ARTIFICIAL, UNNATURAL PHENOMENON

"IT'S AN ARTIFICIAL, UNNATURAL PHENOMENON"

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IMPOSED FROM WITHOUT.

"IMPOSED FROM WITHOUT."

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SEE, THE HUMAN MALE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH WOMEN.

"SEE, THE HUMAN MALE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH WOMEN."

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OR IN YOUR CASE, ANY.

"OR IN YOUR CASE, ANY."

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DON'T BE TOO HARD ON NORM.

"DON'T BE TOO HARD ON NORM."

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HE HASN'T HAD THAT MUCH EXPERIENCE,

"HE HASN'T HAD THAT MUCH EXPERIENCE,"

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AND HE KIND OF GOT SWEPT AWAY.

"AND HE KIND OF GOT SWEPT AWAY."

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YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME ALMOST GRATEFUL

"YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME ALMOST GRATEFUL"

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YOU'VE HAD THE AMOUNT OF EXPERIENCE YOU'VE HAD WITH WOMEN.

"YOU'VE HAD THE AMOUNT OF EXPERIENCE YOU'VE HAD WITH WOMEN."

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OH, YEAH?

"OH, YEAH?"

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YES.

"YES."

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I THINK BY NOW, YOUR CURIOSITY IS SATISFIED,

"I THINK BY NOW, YOUR CURIOSITY IS SATISFIED,"

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YOUR INEXPLICABLE LUST SATED.

"YOUR INEXPLICABLE LUST SATED."

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IF OUR RELATIONSHIP REMAINS

"IF OUR RELATIONSHIP REMAINS"

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AS STRONG AND VITAL AS IT IS NOW,

"AS STRONG AND VITAL AS IT IS NOW,"

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YOU'LL HAVE NO NEED FOR SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

"YOU'LL HAVE NO NEED FOR SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN."

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OH, MY GOD.

"OH, MY GOD."

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH, MY GOD"?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH, MY GOD"?"

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UH, I JUST NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE.

"UH, I JUST NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE."

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MY LAST WOMAN.

"MY LAST WOMAN."

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YOU DO AGREE, DON'T YOU?

"YOU DO AGREE, DON'T YOU?"

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UH, I DON'T KNOW...

"UH, I DON'T KNOW..."

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WHY NOT?

"WHY NOT?"

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WHA--HEY, COME ON.

"WHA--HEY, COME ON."

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SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU KNOW.

"SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU KNOW."

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YOU COULD DIE OR...

"YOU COULD DIE OR..."

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GO INSANE OR...

"GO INSANE OR..."

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WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T AGE THAT WELL?

"WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T AGE THAT WELL?"

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WENT DOWN

"WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WENT DOWN"

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IN AN AIRPLANE OVER SOUTH AMERICA SOMEPLACE

"IN AN AIRPLANE OVER SOUTH AMERICA SOMEPLACE"

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AND WAS TAKEN CAPTIVE BY A TRIBE OF HUGE WOMEN...

"AND WAS TAKEN CAPTIVE BY A TRIBE OF HUGE WOMEN..."

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WHO MADE ME THEIR SEX SLAVE?

"WHO MADE ME THEIR SEX SLAVE?"

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FORCED BY HIGH PRIESTESS BETTINA AND HER HANDMAIDENS

"FORCED BY HIGH PRIESTESS BETTINA AND HER HANDMAIDENS"

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TO SATISFY THEM DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.

"TO SATISFY THEM DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY."

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COME ON, BE REALISTIC, DIANE.

"COME ON, BE REALISTIC, DIANE."

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MY GOD, I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING.

"MY GOD, I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING."

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WHAT'S THAT, COACH?

"WHAT'S THAT, COACH?"

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WHAT IF VERA CALLS AND SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE NORMIE IS?

"WHAT IF VERA CALLS AND SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE NORMIE IS?"

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TELL HER HE STEPPED OUT.

"TELL HER HE STEPPED OUT."

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THAT'S KIND OF FLIMSY, CARLA.

"THAT'S KIND OF FLIMSY, CARLA."

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OK, HE WENT TO A MOVIE WITH YOU, COACH.

"OK, HE WENT TO A MOVIE WITH YOU, COACH."

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OH, YEAH, THAT'S NICE.

"OH, YEAH, THAT'S NICE."

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GEE, NORM AND I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT TOGETHER IN A LONG TIME.

"GEE, NORM AND I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT TOGETHER IN A LONG TIME."

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[PHONE RINGING]

"[PHONE RINGING]"

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OK, OK, I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT, MRS. PETERSON.

"OK, OK, I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT, MRS. PETERSON."

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NORM'S OUT WITH A DAME.

"NORM'S OUT WITH A DAME."

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GIMME THAT!

"GIMME THAT!"

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COACH, UH, COACH, IF YOU WERE AT THE ALAMO,

"COACH, UH, COACH, IF YOU WERE AT THE ALAMO,"

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WE'D ALL BE WEARING SOMBREROS.

"WE'D ALL BE WEARING SOMBREROS."

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WHAT?

"WHAT?"

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EMILY WHO?

"EMILY WHO?"

Cheers

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