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Clips from Avenue 5 - Eight Arms But No Hands (S01E01)

"I would appreciate a little less bitching"
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"and little more ditching, Iris."
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"Okay. We need to ditch the heavy-duty booty."
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"-You seen anything like that? -There's a reason they call me"
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"the "All-Seeing Iris." Get out of my way."
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"RYAN: Oh. He's not here."
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"Yeah... Why did you think Matt would be here?"
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"Well, I thought I noticed these clues in his room,"
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"these references to the whiteness"
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"-and the void and so on. -Oh. Okay."
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"But the whole of the spaceship is white,"
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"and the whole of space is a void, so..."
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"That's a-- That's a very valid point."
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"I think I may have overreached myself."
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"Hmm. Where are we right now?"
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"Uh, this is the antechamber"
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"-to the fusion drive. -Ah."
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"Why does the fusion drive need an antechamber?"
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"-I don't know. -Right. I keep forgetting that."
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"(INDISTINCT CHATTER)"
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"-Hey! Hey! Hi! -WOMAN: Oh!"
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"Uh... What's, um... What's going on here?"
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"I've just been relaxing in the spa..."
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"-Oh! -...which is, um... still open?"
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"-I think so. -It is?"
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"(LAUGHS) I mean, I'm telling you it is."
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"Anyhoo, uh, what's-- what's happening?"
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"We're getting all our shit together"
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"to throw out into space."
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"Oh, sure! (LAUGHS) I knew that."
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"And, um... uh, because I was, uh..."
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"-in the waxing place-- what am I like? Um... -Oh! (CHUCKLES)"
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"I missed something about dead bodies"
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"flying out of the ship."
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"Some people threw themselves out the airlock."
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"Oh, good Lord."
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"And, um... (CLEARS THROAT) Would you say"
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"it was the responsibility of any crew?"
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"No. No, not really, no."
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"Would you be willing to swear to that in a court of law?"
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"All right, if we threw the pope's crown,"
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"you think we could knock the portrait off the wall?"
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"IRIS: Maybe."
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"But we need the big-ticket portable heavies."
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"How 'bout her?"
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"Oh, baby. That is not a her."
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"(GRUNTING) Oh, yeah!"
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"We're taking your stupid fucking horse head"
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"-out of the equation! -Iris?"
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"(BOTH PANTING)"
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"(GULPS) Rav."
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"Is that it? Just a-- (LAUGHS) Just a simple "Rav"?"
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"See, I was expecting something more along the lines of..."
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""Uh, sorry for surrounding"
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"our groundbreaking luxury cruise liner"
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"-with shit and corpses." -Right."
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"Shouldn't you be at your workplace? On Earth?"
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"Rav, Karen Kelly, displeased to meet you."
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"I have a whole list of grievances."
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"I wanna run through them all with you later."
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"Don't you have a captain to flirt with?"
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"Now, you stop this, and you take me to Judd."
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"JORDAN: This is nice."
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"BILLIE: Yeah, we've got everything here."
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"You want a drink?"
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"JORDAN: So, I was due to be in a new TV drama."
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"BILLIE: Oh, really? What was it?"
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"JORDAN: It's called The Smasher, and I play the Smasher."
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"And why is it called The Smasher?"
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"Well, that, we don't want to reveal"
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"until The Smasher season four."
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"But I assume it's because you smash things."
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"-Sometimes. -Right."
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"But I think we're gonna try and make"
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"a little more complicated than that."
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"Yeah, I mean, that sounds..."
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"-(SCOFFS) Just, wow. Really. -Mm."
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"Um... I don't think I would watch something like that,"
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"but I think a lot of people would."
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"Sarah used to say, "Who's up for a drink or three?""
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"Normally, the-- the phrase is "or two.""
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"(SOBS) A drink or two!"
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"(CRYING) I miss her so much!"
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"Do you think that maybe you should tell her a joke?"
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"Just to kinda, like, cheer her up."
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"'Cause you're funny, you do jokes."
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"Well, I don't know if you can cheer up a grieving person"
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"with a joke."
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"At least, that's what they said at my son's funeral."
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"-(LAUGHS) -There you go."
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"-You did it. -Funny! Bleak, but funny."
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"We need to go and look for Matt."
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"-JORDAN: Yeah. -(NADIA SIGHS)"
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"As if someone would want to have a baby with you. (LAUGHS)"
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"JORDAN: (FORCED CHUCKLE) Yeah. That's it."
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"Poor Matt."
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"Space is a cruel mistress."
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"DOUG: Mmm."
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"You'd know about that, wouldn't you, though? (CHUCKLES)"
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"Super-Casanova."
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"NASA-nova."
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"Have you seen the tall weirdo? (YELLS) Matt!"
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"It's not a life, Doug."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"You've landed on the stars."
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"Do you know what I do for a living?"
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"I co-manage a sporting equipment store"
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"with a diabetic racist named Roy."
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"Sure, but now, I'm a Punch and Judy Man."
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"I make balloon animals for brats."
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"And brats' moms."
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"SPIKE: I don't even enjoy the sex anymore."
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"Feels like I'm slapping wet concrete."
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"Maybe I'm the balloon animal."
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"No. You are not a balloon animal."
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"-Dumb losers say what? -What?"
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"-SPIKE: What? -Oh, shit. We shouldn't have said "what.""
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"That was the whole-- Dammit, good one."
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"Where's your sex-crazed Russian?"
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"Ugh, he's Swedish, and he's exhausting."
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