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Clips from Bust Down - Beige Rage (S01E01)

"- * Sunny days, outside *"
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"- Aw, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen,"
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"guess who's pee was burning earlier,"
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"but the real problem was just his diet?"
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"Ha."
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"It's me, ya boy!"
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"Chris "Cranberry" Henson."
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"Ladies call me the Cran Man"
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"'cause sometimes I get to cran it in,"
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"you know what I'm talking about?"
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"Some of the balls and some of the taint,"
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"a little bit of taint. - Chris. Chris!"
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"Go back out, and come back in better."
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"- Oh, was that no bueno? - No."
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"- 'Cause I was gonna wear all white,"
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"you know what I mean, stand on your roof"
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"like a Boyz II Men member"
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"or Shawn Michaels at the WrestleMania,"
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"you know what I mean, but I don't wear white"
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"after my birthday because of all the loose period sex I had."
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"I ruined all the mattresses. - No. No, no, no."
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"- I don't care what time of the month it is."
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"It's our time. - Chris, take this sage"
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"and smudge until you're ready to act right."
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"- You give me a big ass blunt all you want,"
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"that's not gonna to save the mattresses"
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"from what I did to 'em."
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"Ruined 'em forever."
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"Mm! Oh, this is not-- oh, I get what this is."
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"[mellow hip-hop music]"
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"* *"
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"- It's 2022."
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"Now, why hasn't there been a Black Ronald McDonald yet?"
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"- They wouldn't be shit without us."
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"French fries? That's us. Hamburgers? That's us."
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"Who you think build them arches? Who?"
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"- You know, I took my son to the PlayPlace and he said,"
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""Daddy, can I be Ronald McDonald one day?""
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"And I just had to look him in the eye and say,"
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""I don't know, son."
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"I just don't know.""
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"- Hey, I--I don't know if she Black,"
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"but I heard Wendy got a fat ass under that headshot."
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"[laughter]"
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"- Ay, I thought y'all had a pool."
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"- Jak, you come here all the time."
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"When have you ever seen a pool?"
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"- I don't know, I thought it was like a cool reveal,"
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"like the Batmobile or a C-section scar."
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"- You know what? I'm having a good day."
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"So I'm gonna give you three Jak shenanigans."
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"- Three? Yeah, that's more than usual!"
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"Barbecue!"
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"Hey Chris, they got rid of their pool."
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"- Oh, they never had--okay."
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"Hey, Nina, which one of y'all normal-faced friends"
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"is available for this barbecutie?"
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"- I don't think this is the place for you, Chris."
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"- Oh, you sound ridiculous. What do you mean?"
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"Barbecue's where I clean up at."
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"What? Women out here, drinking,"
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"eating greasy foods, catching heat exhaustion."
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"Shit, by nightfall,"
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"got you some Tums and a soft part of a couch."
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"Cheeks. You know what I'm talking about?"
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"Ah, cheeks. Yow! Cheeks."
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"- Got you. - Yeah."
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"- But I'ma keep it real with you, Chris."
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"- Oh, please do."
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"- Nobody really likes you here."
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"I mean, the niggas don't wanna hear you freestyle,"
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"and the bitches don't wanna to get hit on"
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"or hear you freestyle."
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"- Oh, okay."
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"So niggas don't like real hip-hop no more."
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"Can't help that. Shit, let the culture die."
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"Anyway, for real, though. Where your new friends at?"
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"- I do not make friends with women"
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"just so you can have sex with them."
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"- Why not? - No."
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"Can't you find other women"
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"outside of my circle to disappoint?"
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"- But why would I go out to eat"
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"when my friend got pussy in the fridge?"
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"- Well, the fridge is empty, my nigga."
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"- Tch. - Yeah."
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"[dramatic sting] No, not right there. Mm-mm."
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"[dramatic sting] Don't even touch that."
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"Not over there. No, don't look that way."
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"Not over there under the tree."
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"- Even these under the tree bitches?"
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"- Not the tree bitches. - Huh."
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"Wow. - Sorry."
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"- Wow! All right."
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"Well, you bitches are gon' rue the day"
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"you felt disrespected by me."
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"Yeah. Eat that. Huh."
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"Hope your braids unravel, bitch."
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"[chuckles] I'll be back."
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"- * Sunny days, outside *"
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"* *"
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"- Hey. - What's up, baby?"
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"- I'm just so grateful for you, baby."
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"- And I'm glad you know you should be grateful."
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"- I'm just glad you're not like these other idiots around here."
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"Remember when I first met you?"
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"You was in a corner at that Trillville concert"
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"trying to balance that empty bottle of Martel's"
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"on your nose like a krunk seal."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah."
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"- But look at me now. - Yeah."
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"- Grilling, Hawaiian shirt. - Oh!"
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"- Wearing shoes my doctor prescribed."
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"- [laughs] Keep describing that outfit"
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"like that, and I'ma soak right through my panties."
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"- Mm. - Mm-hmm."
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"- Samm-er Jammers looking better than they did last year."
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"- Yeah. You better hurry up."
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"You know people hate when you make 'em wait all day."
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"Bianca fat ass already talking about ordering a pizza."
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