Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Weeds - Fran Tarkenton (S06E06)

"How much do you have?"
Weeds
"Let me show you."
Weeds
"And kids tip over my carts."
Weeds
"And once, once I get a Christmas gift from one of my customers."
Weeds
"- And you know what it was? - Poop?"
Weeds
"Poop. Poop. Poop!"
Weeds
"So, sometimes I just bring the mail home."
Weeds
"You have to be the worst mailman ever."
Weeds
"Yep. I'm really not very good."
Weeds
"I have passports."
Weeds
"Show me."
Weeds
"That is not his."
Weeds
"No. Of course it's his."
Weeds
"That dick is a magic marker. Hooman has a crayon."
Weeds
"I took him to the baths."
Weeds
"That rude asshole never even took off his Bluetooth."
Weeds
"No, no, you're not accounting for edema."
Weeds
"It's floating in liquid, so it expanded. Edema."
Weeds
"I asked you to kill one worthless idiot. And you try to deceive me?"
Weeds
"Go before I cut off your penis."
Weeds
"We had a deal. Jaka-cock for passports. I help up my end."
Weeds
"Daoud Mahmud, what did you do?"
Weeds
"I was just looking out for your best interest."
Weeds
"He wasn't good enough for you. Honey?"
Weeds
"You are dead to me!"
Weeds
"My daughter! Princess!"
Weeds
"My husband would hire a discount hitman."
Weeds
"Even the Jews think that man is cheap."
Weeds
"- That's a good line. Offensive, but... - Shut up."
Weeds
"You deceived him. But I will give you the passports."
Weeds
"Wow. Thanks. Thank you."
Weeds
"And I will only charge you $5,000."
Weeds
"I've been on the waiting list for a Birkin bag forever."
Weeds
"And my name just came up."
Weeds
"How did you end up at Dearborn? I thought Arabs hated cold weather."
Weeds
"And why do you deserve to be here more than I do?"
Weeds
"Simple math."
Weeds
"You people didn't get here till the '70s. My people have been here forever."
Weeds
"Really? What are you, an Ottawa, Anishnabe, or Potawatomi?"
Weeds
"Don't give me that Indian crap."
Weeds
"Have you been to the Soaring Eagle Casino lately?"
Weeds
"I went last month to see Jeff Dunham."
Weeds
"The tickets alone cost 55 bucks."
Weeds
"Add to that the room, the little buffet, a little craps."
Weeds
"The real trail of tears is me going back and forth to the ATM all night."
Weeds
"You wanna join?"
Weeds
"We're stealing Christmas card money from the past."
Weeds
"No, thanks. Where's Mom?"
Weeds
"- She's not here. - Here."
Weeds
"I said I don't want to open anything."
Weeds
"It's your paternity results. Picked them up today."
Weeds
"Yo, this one's addressed to me."
Weeds
"I got into college?"
Weeds
"Can I come back in?"
Weeds
"Fuck off!"
Weeds
"Sorry about your camera."
Weeds
"Filmed my son's birth with it."
Weeds
"- You wait to publish. - I know."
Weeds
"You don't say where we're going."
Weeds
"- I don't know where you're going. - Good."
Weeds
"What's my name gonna be?"
Weeds
"What do you want your name to be?"
Weeds
"Celia Hodes."
Weeds
"What? What is it?"
Weeds
"They'll find you."
Weeds
"I don't think so."
Weeds
"Pilar just doesn't disappear and no one has to answer."
Weeds
"She's a legitimate businesswoman. Someone has to answer."
Weeds
"Yeah, well, then we'll keep running."
Weeds
"It's an open murder investigation. And not just the cops. FBI."
Weeds
"Them. And if I'm coming to that conclusion..."
Weeds
"Shane."
Weeds
"...then others will, too."
Weeds
"Can I have my money?"
Weeds
"Paying for interviews. Out of pocket. My entire advance gone."
Weeds
"God, this is depressing."
Weeds
"Fran Tarkenton. Where'd you pull that from?"
Weeds
"Well, yeah, Judah loved him."
Weeds
"He had his signed rookie card between two pieces of glass."
Weeds
"Said we were gonna buy our retirement house in Hawaii with it."
Weeds
"I checked online not so long ago. It's worth, like, $700."
Weeds
"Ridiculous. I mean, can you imagine? I hate the sun."
Weeds
"Judah was so..."
Weeds
"Anyway, I really am sorry about your camera. That was mean."
Weeds
"Guess your word cloud was right."
Weeds
"Why didn't I know Josh was gay? I mean, even as a baby he looked gay."
Weeds
"- Gay baby. - God. I'm going back to bed."
Weeds
"Yell at me, Dana. Get mad!"
Weeds
"But don't keep it in. You're gonna give yourself butt cancer."
Weeds
"I'm not mad at you. I'm happy."
Weeds
"You married Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."
Weeds
"That's an obvious cry for help."
Weeds
"Why are you here, Doug? Really?"
Weeds
"To get my passport."
Weeds
"It's in the safety deposit box at the bank."
Weeds
"We needed both keys to open it."
Weeds
"Okay. There it is."
Weeds
"Take it. Now you can leave."
Weeds
"Just mail them both back when you're done."
Weeds
"I don't want the passport anymore."
Weeds
"I know why God kept me alive now."
Weeds
"- Seeing you and Julie... - Jessie."
Weeds
"I'm gonna stay here where I belong, at the head of this family."
Weeds
"Right here in Agrestic."
Weeds
"It's called Regrestic now."
Weeds
"Well, that's retarded."
Weeds
"You are not a part of this family anymore."
Weeds
"You are just the idiot man-baby who walked out on us."
Weeds
"Now, you ruined my life once before and you are not gonna ruin it again."
Weeds
"Are you as turned on as I am right now?"
Weeds
"God damn it."
Weeds
"Dude, what happened?"
Weeds
"I totally understand the ego issues involved when it comes to one's Louisville Slugger,"
Weeds
"but maybe you could've been a little more in the ballpark, size-wise."
Weeds
"Man, what's that Sunni perv doing checking out my junk anyway?"
Weeds
"Fuck that whole family."
Weeds
"No, go to her."
Weeds
"Don't end up dead and alone like I'm going to."
Weeds
"Maybe if I show him I got into college."
Weeds
"All right. You guys have been dope."
Weeds
Show more clips