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Clips from Weeds - Little Boats (S04E04)

"Yes, I know her well."
Weeds
"God bless you. Can you take us to her?"
Weeds
"If I feel like it."
Weeds
"Don't tease me, you crusty whore."
Weeds
"I think she wants you to grease the wheels."
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
"Hey, shot of tequila for the sweet old lady here."
Weeds
"- Now can you take me to her? - No."
Weeds
"Listen, you cock-juggling thundercunt."
Weeds
"- Hey, here we go. - I am not --"
Weeds
"Come. That way."
Weeds
"I will take you to her."
Weeds
"That's more like it."
Weeds
"I got butterflies, Andy."
Weeds
"Yeah, just be yourself, Doug."
Weeds
"And try not to call her a thundercunt."
Weeds
"- Grandma's got wheels. - Hey, we don't run."
Weeds
"We're Americans."
Weeds
"Oh, shit."
Weeds
"It is time to pay."
Weeds
"That's the bad coyote, belt-stealer guy."
Weeds
"The one who tried to rape Reyna and stab me in the neck."
Weeds
"I pictured him taller."
Weeds
"I will shoot your knee and shoot your balls."
Weeds
"I will shoot your belly and feed you to the sewer rats."
Weeds
"Does that mean that I can go?"
Weeds
"Okay. Okay. Okay."
Weeds
"- I'm sorry, man. - This is so not cool."
Weeds
"My last meal was a bowl of chili peanuts."
Weeds
"El Andy, he's a good man."
Weeds
"He has brought much happiness to our familia and our friends."
Weeds
"He will not die this day."
Weeds
"You will die."
Weeds
"Okay, okay."
Weeds
"Hang on here, guys."
Weeds
"The way of El Andy..."
Weeds
"...is the way of peace."
Weeds
"And creature comforts."
Weeds
"Just walk away, Mr. Coyote, or limp away."
Weeds
"And limp in peace."
Weeds
"We will not harm you."
Weeds
"I just did the whole peace speech."
Weeds
"That was Hector."
Weeds
"He no speak English."
Weeds
"I completely agree. She's bat-shit insane."
Weeds
"- She's got a good heart. - She fucked up and she's fired."
Weeds
"But let's face it."
Weeds
"We all fucked up, okay?"
Weeds
"Kung Pao made me piss out of my ass."
Weeds
"Could happen to anyone."
Weeds
"But can we just agree to keep all of our fuck-ups to ourselves?"
Weeds
"Shit."
Weeds
"Ask him if he'd like to take anything from the store for his troubles."
Weeds
"He says that the store is for ladies who hate men who made them fat."
Weeds
"Doesn't he have a wife or a girlfriend?"
Weeds
"Somebody he wants to impregnate?"
Weeds
"His sister."
Weeds
"Is pregnant by her husband."
Weeds
"Why don't you take a bag and fill it up with some stuff from the store..."
Weeds
"...and we'll forget this ever happened, okay?"
Weeds
"You want me to take care of her?"
Weeds
"Yeah, go ahead. Maybe I'll wear something fun to her funeral."
Weeds
"Shut up."
Weeds
"I'm taking you home."
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
"Come here. Let's clean that pretty face of yours."
Weeds
"It's me."
Weeds
"I can't make it tonight."
Weeds
"This is not a spite cancellation."
Weeds
"I have a very sick child on my hands."
Weeds
"Tomorrow night?"
Weeds
"Please?"
Weeds
"No, no."
Weeds
"Sweetie?"
Weeds
"Sweetie..."
Weeds
"...I wanna talk to you about --"
Weeds
"I'm just --"
Weeds
"I'm just --"
Weeds
"I'm just --"
Weeds
"I'm just gonna throw this out there."
Weeds
"I think it's a little --"
Weeds
"I don't wanna say "weird.""
Weeds
"Maybe another word for "weird" without all the weird connotations of weird..."
Weeds
"...like "peculiar," maybe or "eccentric"..."
Weeds
"...or how about "quirky"? Okay, it's quirky."
Weeds
"It's a little quirky to masturbate to pictures of your mother."
Weeds
"To have this sexual kind of relationship..."
Weeds
"...or connection or hookup with a stand-in for your mother."
Weeds
"You may think it's okay because this woman isn't actually your mother."
Weeds
"Because these photographs don't necessarily look like me..."
Weeds
"...since you know me as me now, not me as me then."
Weeds
"And according to Freud, a lot of people wanna have sex with their mother..."
Weeds
"...or substitutes for their mother..."
Weeds
"...and it's normal in the planning stages but it should stop there."
Weeds
"And I realize there's a lot of hormonal compulsion..."
Weeds
"...some of it beyond your control, and it's nothing terrible or unnatural..."
Weeds
"...or anything we need to talk about in gory detail."
Weeds
"Because sex --"
Weeds
"Sex is good, Freud said, or Annie Sprinkle maybe said."
Weeds
"Sex is great and you should have sex safely with your peers..."
Weeds
"...like Megan or Tara or Playboy or Penthouse or Juggs..."
Weeds
"...if you're inclined to that body part."
Weeds
"You should go ahead, fantasize about having sex with these people."
Weeds
"But you should avoid the areas..."
Weeds
"...which include having sex with your mother..."
Weeds
"...or a substitute for your mother."
Weeds
"I mean, things, you know, happen. It's understandable."
Weeds
"She's blond. She's got a cheese store."
Weeds
"You hide them in a Sammy Davis Jr. biography."
Weeds
"Who's gonna look there?"
Weeds
"It happens but it shouldn't happen anymore."
Weeds
"And we can swear, and I do swear..."
Weeds
"...to never, ever, ever speak of this again."
Weeds
"Well, then...."
Weeds
"Okay, then."
Weeds
"We'll just...."
Weeds
"So tell me about this boat."
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
"Well, no."
Weeds
"Some other time, then. Okay."
Weeds
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