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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (S08E08)

"- [All] Yeah! - All right."
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"But you people remember, baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet..."
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"but they grow up."
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"Let's go, boys."
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"Ow! Those gears down there really hurt."
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"You're out there somewhere, Beer Baron..."
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"and I'll find you."
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"[Homer In Distance] No, you won't."
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"- Yes, I will. - Won't."
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"[Narrator] Dateline, Springfield. The elusive Beer Baron..."
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"continued to thumb his nose at authorities."
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"Swaggering about in a garish new hat, he seemed to say..."
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"Look at me, Rex Banner. I have a new hat. '"
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"Hey, boy, get cracking. Moe upped his order to 20 balls a night."
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"- Uh, Dad- - Call me Beer Baron."
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"All the beer from the landfill is gone, Beer Baron. We're out of business."
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"But I can't be out of beer. I'm the Beer Baron!"
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"Homer, my customers are sobering up..."
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"and they ain't gonna stick around for the ambiance."
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"- You gotta get me more beer! - Sorry, I'm all out."
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"How about some turpentine? Or caulk? Delicious caulk?"
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"Look, find it, buy it, make it- I don't care."
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"- Just get me some booze, and fast! - Make it, eh?"
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"Forty-two bathtubs, please."
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"- You know, they're 50 for $3,000 today. - I said 42!"
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"Now you're making your own alcohol?"
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"That's even more illegal than what you were doing before."
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"[Chuckling] Remember, honey..."
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"we're disobeying an unjust law here."
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"We're patriots, like all those people in jail."
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"- [Rumbling] - [All Cheering]"
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"[Sniffing] Who wants a bathtub mint julep?"
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"Mm-hmm!"
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"- Are you the Beer Baron? - Well, if you're talking about root beer..."
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"I plead guilt-diddily-ilty as char-diddily-arged."
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"He's not the Baron. But he sounds drunk. Take him in."
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"- Are you the Beer Baron? - Yes, but only by night."
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"By day, I'm a mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper."
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"- Don't crack wise with me, tubby. - Tubby?"
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"Oh, yes, tubby."
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"- Hey, Banner, how's it hangin'? - None of your business."
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"[Rumbling]"
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"- [Both Screaming] - What on earth happened down there?"
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"- One of the stills- - Uh, nothing, Marge."
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"I think it must've been that bean I had for dinner."
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"[Explosions]"
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"Kaboom! Blam! Oh, excuse me again, dear."
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"Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises."
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"Your homemade liquor is exploding again."
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"- What, dear? Kablamo! - [Explosion]"
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"You made some money and had the fun of being a wanted criminal."
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"- Why not quit now while you're ahead? - [Explosion]"
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"Boom."
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"- I'll be right back. - [Rumbling]"
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"- [Explosion] - [Homer Screaming]"
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"[Screaming] Oh, it's hot! Oh!"
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"Ooh!"
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"I thought about what you said, honey, and I've decided to quit."
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"Oh, well, fun's over."
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"- But I still have my wonderful money. - Stick 'em up!"
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"Geez! What happened to you, Wiggum? You look terrible."
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"Yeah, never mind how I look. Are you gonna give me the money or not?"
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"Well, I don't think so. You don't even have a trigger on that thing."
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"Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family."
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"Come on! Give me the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!"
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"- Poor Wiggum. - Poor Wiggum."
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"- I'll bet you really hate Rex Banner, huh? - Um, who?"
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"- The guy who took your job. - Oh, yeah."
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"More than anything in the world!"
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"Hey, how would you like to show him up..."
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"by beating him at his own game?"
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"[Cheering]"
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"I'm happy to report that the flow of illegal liquor seems to have dried up..."
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"public drunkenness has ceased, and those mysterious liquor clouds..."
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"over Evergreen Terrace are gone."
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"- You forgot one thing, Wiggum. - Yeah, what's that?"
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"People, Rex Banner has won your war against alcohol!"
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"I filled the balls with a funnel."
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"- [Cheering] - What about the Beer Baron?"
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"That was a very sweet thing you did for poor Wiggum."
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"I suspect he was just an invention of the media."
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"The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is laughable."
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"But what's gonna happen to you?"
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"[Gasping, Choking]"
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"Oh, probably just a slap on the wrist."
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"Well, you all know what laughter sounds like."
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"A nd he who shall violate this law..."
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"We now go live to Evergreen Terrace where I'm informed..."
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"shall be punished by catapult."
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"that former Police Chief Wiggum has captured the Beer Baron."
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"[Straining] Last time I help you."
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"- [Murmuring] - They captured Homer?"
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"Sorry. I thought you'd get a fine..."
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"Then the liquor-filled bowling balls..."
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"or at most, three, four years in jail."
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"traveled through a network of underground pipes..."
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"Hold it! This machine is two centuries old. Better test it first."
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"finally emerging at a nearby speakeasy."
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"Oh!"
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"- [Screeching] - Okay, go ahead."
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"Wait! Wait! You can't do this!"
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"All my husband did was violate a law that doesn't make sense."
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"Now, I'll admit, car crashes and fistfights have been down recently..."
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"but prohibition has cost us our freedom-"
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"our freedom to drink!"
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"- [Cheering] - Now, hold on a minute, missy."
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"It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey."
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"If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!"
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"- Our laws are in place for a reason. - Send him back to Mama, boys."
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"[Yelling]"
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"That was unexpected. Well, reset the catapult, and let's get this over with."
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"Wait! I have discovered more lines on the parchment."
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"It says that the prohibition law which was passed here 200 years ago..."
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"was repealed 199 years ago."
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"Release the prisoner!"
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"Oh!"
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"On behalf of the city, I'd like to apologize and ask..."
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"how long it will take for you to flood this town with booze again?"
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"Well, sorry. I'm not in that business anymore."
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"Four minutes."
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