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Clips from Veep - Midterms (S02E02)

"Wipe that thing off before you hand it to me."
Veep
"- Here you go. - Hey there, pretty boy."
Veep
"You know what they call guys like you in prison? Sweetmeat."
Veep
"I have no plan to go to prison, Congressman."
Veep
"Holy shit, is that him?"
Veep
"Nobody plans on going to prison, dipshit."
Veep
"That's just the way it works out sometimes."
Veep
"You are fucked."
Veep
"If I lose this election tonight"
Veep
"and I'm back on that Congressional Oversight Committee,"
Veep
"your ass is toast because I don't like the way your boss runs things over there"
Veep
"and you are a mighty soft target."
Veep
"If I have to come after you, Dan, I can promise you something."
Veep
"You're gonna have to be prepared to be gay for the stay"
Veep
"'cause you're going down."
Veep
"Chin up, buddy. You'll be fine."
Veep
"Mouth open."
Veep
"Fat Wolverine."
Veep
"Oh, Kent."
Veep
"- Madam Vice President. - Look at you, you're all back."
Veep
"I see they took out the sink and the toilet."
Veep
"Made it a little roomier for you."
Veep
"I could punch through the wall and tap POTUS on the shoulder."
Veep
"And what would you be tapping him on the shoulder"
Veep
"about specifically, do you figure?"
Veep
"- Repositioning. - So glad to hear you say that."
Veep
"We are on the same page, my friend,"
Veep
"both in terms of the party and, of course, in terms of myself."
Veep
"Am I supposed to ask a question now?"
Veep
"Oh, sure. If you want. Fire away."
Veep
"And what would that question be?"
Veep
"Well, that question might be"
Veep
"what do you think is the best reposition to take?"
Veep
"And what would the answer to that question be?"
Veep
"And the answer to that question would be"
Veep
"standing right in front of you."
Veep
"The answer would be a certain someone,"
Veep
"shall we say, whose skills were not adequately tapped."
Veep
"That's some question."
Veep
"So, we're good."
Veep
"We're good."
Veep
"Great. I'm so glad that we had this chance to connect."
Veep
"I really am."
Veep
"I don't think I was actually very clear before."
Veep
"- No. - My uncle used to have this saying."
Veep
"He used to say to me, Honey, if you're not at the table,"
Veep
"you're probably on the menu."
Veep
"And, Kent, I will not be eaten."
Veep
"Why would anyone want to eat you?"
Veep
"You do know that I am not running for office right now?"
Veep
"I am, in fact, the vice president."
Veep
"I wouldn't dispute your title. I might question your role."
Veep
"It would be great if you would stand up when the vice president enters a room."
Veep
"- Oh, Lord, all right. - Oh, Lord."
Veep
"- There you go. - Oh, at ease, Kent."
Veep
"I'm just looking for my mug."
Veep
"Yeah. I love this baby."
Veep
"- It holds about nine cups' worth. - Oh, wow."
Veep
"Yeah, it's the only thing I'd save if this building were on fire."
Veep
"Okay. This is such a silly conversation that we're having."
Veep
"I'm gonna go talk to the president."
Veep
"- He went to bed. - He's in bed?"
Veep
"So that makes you the livewire, huh?"
Veep
"- This can't get out. - It won't get out."
Veep
"Everyone, POTUS has gone to bed."
Veep
"So let's make sure we make his dreams come true tonight"
Veep
"by fighting until that last bullet."
Veep
"Why don't you take the first bullet"
Veep
"and put it through your brain?"
Veep
"Yes, sir. Pfft."
Veep
"I'm gonna have more of a role"
Veep
"in this administration."
Veep
"Well, I just crunched the numbers."
Veep
"I know. You're the numbers cruncher."
Veep
"And right now they taste pretty bland to me."
Veep
"Well, salt and pepper 'em."
Veep
"Marion, listen very closely."
Veep
"You have as much chance of getting the vice president on your show"
Veep
"as you have of getting your husband to leave that cheerleader."
Veep
"Yes, Marion. We're all aware of that. Good-bye."
Veep
"Touch and go? Is that what they said?"
Veep
"No, it's a classic. There's a mounting on it for a harpoon gun."
Veep
"Well, Richard, if you hear me say no, that means no."
Veep
"No."
Veep
"You good slapping down those hacks?"
Veep
"I really do enjoy it."
Veep
"It's kind of like dumping all my ex-boyfriends at once."
Veep
"Oh, you got a lot of exes, huh?"
Veep
"Hey, dumpling. It's Gary."
Veep
"I'm sorry I missed you."
Veep
"It's just I can't find her lipstick"
Veep
"and I thought maybe it fell out of the Leviathan at home."
Veep
"Okay, folks, Kent Davison is back."
Veep
"what are we gonna do about it?"
Veep
"Number two: why am I telling you this news?"
Veep
"And number three: would you please hang up the phone"
Veep
"because I'm the fucking Vice President of the United States"
Veep
"- and I have something to say. - I'm going."
Veep
"So now we got to figure out a way to get Kent on board"
Veep
"with this whole co-POTAL thing."
Veep
"You can't reason with him. It'd be like explaining"
Veep
"Supertramp to a Komodo dragon."
Veep
"na: I don't know what those words mean."
Veep
"Mike, are you in the middle of some sort of aneurysm?"
Veep
"- Let's just wind back a sec, okay? - Yes."
Veep
"You think Kent Davison is a bad thing?"
Veep
"Okay. All right."
Veep
"I have a very strong feeling"
Veep
"that Kent is gonna get in between me and POTUS,"
Veep
"like some sort of thick rubber condom,"
Veep
"- and I have got to have... - Unprotected."
Veep
"Unprotected access to the Oval Office."
Veep
"Well, Amy, you were on the campaign trail with him."
Veep
"- How do we pop him? - Uh, I, um..."
Veep
"- Well, I guess... - What?"
Veep
"- Hey. Yeah. - Yeah? Yeah?"
Veep
"You have to go and see your dad."
Veep
"This is the midterms."
Veep
"Amy, it's the fucking midterms. Go."
Veep
"Thank... thank you."
Veep
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