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Clips from Weeds - A Pool and His Money (S03E03)

"I like root beer, I'm thirsty."
Weeds
"Just try the pot first, then you can raid the fridge for whatever you want."
Weeds
"- Hello. - You want a plate for that?"
Weeds
"Thank God. I thought you were Shane and Andy."
Weeds
"Listen, what setting do you think is best for drying pot that's been in the swimming pool?"
Weeds
"Are you trying to make some hash or something?"
Weeds
"Because I don't think this is how you do it."
Weeds
"Oh, yeah, you and me, we're doing our jobs."
Weeds
"Doing 'em, doing 'em right."
Weeds
"Hey, it's the "Drugs Are Wrong" lady!"
Weeds
"Hey, kids."
Weeds
"That's right. That's me."
Weeds
"Getting recognised."
Weeds
"Drugs are wrong."
Weeds
"And it feels so right to not do them."
Weeds
"Just throw them away."
Weeds
"I'm a crusader, you know?"
Weeds
"Could you move? You're blocking the goal."
Weeds
"Crusader."
Weeds
"Celia Hodes! Doing it pro bono!"
Weeds
"Not asking for... accolades."
Weeds
"Turning my ankle."
Weeds
"Oh, man, that's fucking awful!"
Weeds
"It's like all harsh and no high! It's wrecked. We fucked."
Weeds
"- Come on, let's go see U-Turn. - You said we had until nine o'clock."
Weeds
"You gonna grow a new crop between now and nine?"
Weeds
"- Let's go. - No!"
Weeds
"Saying no to me is not a good idea."
Weeds
"Look, I think you're cool and all, but I will hurt you. I'm a thug, that's what I do!"
Weeds
"- I think you need to go with him. - No, wait! Wait!"
Weeds
"I have one more idea."
Weeds
"No, listen!"
Weeds
"Best case, we actually show up with something."
Weeds
"Worst case, you deliver me on time. What have you got to lose?"
Weeds
"Hey, I didn't bring back the right thing from 7-Eleven once."
Weeds
"Now I got an artificial patella."
Weeds
"- Man, I'm out of here! - Marvin, please. Marvin!"
Weeds
"Look!"
Weeds
"Give me one more chance to make this right."
Weeds
"Please."
Weeds
"Shit!"
Weeds
"Hello?"
Weeds
"What? He's where?"
Weeds
"Thank God! Yeah! Great!"
Weeds
"I'll come get him."
Weeds
"Yeah."
Weeds
"Tell him Uncle Andy's coming to get him."
Weeds
"Great, thank you so much. Thank you, Officer."
Weeds
"Whoo-hoo!"
Weeds
"Was that a great party or what?"
Weeds
"How would you know? You spent the whole time in the bathroom."
Weeds
"I'm sorry, honey. I was just working some stuff out with your Uncle Doug."
Weeds
"That's all right. You weren't even the most embarrassing parent there."
Weeds
"Martha Straley's mom wasn't wearing any underwear"
Weeds
"and fell over an ottoman while doing the cha-cha slide,"
Weeds
"- And everyone saw. - I'm sorry I missed that."
Weeds
"- Hey, can we make hot fudge sundaes? - Oh, my God, that's the best idea ever."
Weeds
"- Dad... - Yeah, hon?"
Weeds
"Mom's passed out in the atrium."
Weeds
"Mom? Mom!"
Weeds
"I'm a winner."
Weeds
"Hi, sweetie."
Weeds
"How was the rest of your party?"
Weeds
"What the hell you doing here, Celia?"
Weeds
"I was..."
Weeds
"I just wanted to pick up a few things,"
Weeds
"but I couldn't get in cos all the doors were locked."
Weeds
"And it's been a really long day."
Weeds
"- I bet. - Could I just..."
Weeds
"Do you think..."
Weeds
"I could take a bath?"
Weeds
"My motel just has a shower, and I really could use a bath."
Weeds
"Fine."
Weeds
"Take a bath, then please go."
Weeds
"Could you unlock the door to the bedroom?"
Weeds
"Son of a bitch."
Weeds
"So, you want another man's dick up your ass, that's what you telling me?"
Weeds
"Well, I don't know, I've never tried that. I just..."
Weeds
"- I think I've always liked boys. - I thought you was in love with Nancy."
Weeds
"- Now, who we talking about, Conrad? - I think that was a..."
Weeds
"Judy Garland, Joan Crawford, Sarah Jessica Parker kind of love."
Weeds
"So, you'll suck a dick?"
Weeds
"Yes, I think I would, if it was the right dick."
Weeds
"Ain't no right dick!"
Weeds
"All dick besides your own is wrong, boy."
Weeds
"You know, you need Jesus!"
Weeds
"No, I think I just need to admit to myself what I am,"
Weeds
"what I've always been, no matter what you, or my family, or anyone thinks."
Weeds
"So let me just ask you this."
Weeds
"- You ever fuck a girl? - Excellent question."
Weeds
"Any pussy in your past?"
Weeds
"My cousin Reshma had this friend Meetah who let me play with her nipples."
Weeds
"- I found it kind of gross. - Yeah, some women got ugly titties."
Weeds
"That don't mean you're a cock smoker."
Weeds
"Hey. I got your lemonade, but I ain't add cayenne,"
Weeds
"cos I ain't know how much."
Weeds
"But I brought it so you could add it."
Weeds
"- Who got the tuna melt? - Tuna melt's mine."
Weeds
"Well, look at you."
Weeds
"Do I know you?"
Weeds
"- You work for U-Turn? - He do now!"
Weeds
"- Oh, I don't think so. - Oh, no?"
Weeds
"Well, shit. U-Turn, if you're gonna fuck him up,"
Weeds
"leave that pretty face, would you?"
Weeds
"- Turkey on whole wheat. - Oh, that's me. Is there mustard?"
Weeds
"Should be on there."
Weeds
"- Clinique, let me holler at you for a second. - What?"
Weeds
"Get your ass over here, now!"
Weeds
"What do you think they're talking about?"
Weeds
"Look, I need to get the fuck out of here."
Weeds
"I'm gonna grab U-Turn and put a gun to his head, and you need..."
Weeds
"I think they're talking about me!"
Weeds
"- What did you say? - Nothing."
Weeds
"- Just nothing, nothing. - Yo!"
Weeds
"Hurry up and finish that sandwich."
Weeds
"Clinique here gonna take you in the other room and fuck the gay out of you."
Weeds
"- Excuse me? - You heard me."
Weeds
"Man..."
Weeds
"- I don't think it works that way. - Clinique gonna make it work!"
Weeds
"You sure you don't think you a faggot?"
Weeds
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