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Clips from Cheers - If Ever I Would Leave You (S03E03)

CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

"CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE."

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DIANE, ARE YOU READY?

"DIANE, ARE YOU READY?"

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IT'S TIME FOR THE SORROW AND THE PITY.

"IT'S TIME FOR THE SORROW AND THE PITY."

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OH, YOU TWO GOING STRAIGHT HOME TO BED?

"OH, YOU TWO GOING STRAIGHT HOME TO BED?"

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YOU KNOW IT'S A MOVIE.

"YOU KNOW IT'S A MOVIE."

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OH, NOT JUST A MOVIE.

"OH, NOT JUST A MOVIE."

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IT'S THE FINAL FEATURE IN THE HUMAN BRUTALITY FILM FESTIVAL.

"IT'S THE FINAL FEATURE IN THE HUMAN BRUTALITY FILM FESTIVAL."

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SAMMY, WHEN'S THE COACH GETTING BACK

"SAMMY, WHEN'S THE COACH GETTING BACK"

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FROM VISITING HIS SISTER?

"FROM VISITING HIS SISTER?"

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HE'LL BE IN MINNESOTA AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK.

"HE'LL BE IN MINNESOTA AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK."

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IS HIS SISTER ANYTHING LIKE THE COACH?

"IS HIS SISTER ANYTHING LIKE THE COACH?"

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LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

"LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY."

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HE ASKED HER TO PICK HIM UP AT THE AIRPORT.

"HE ASKED HER TO PICK HIM UP AT THE AIRPORT."

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SHE THOUGHT HE MEANT THE BOSTON AIRPORT,

"SHE THOUGHT HE MEANT THE BOSTON AIRPORT,"

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SO SHE DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE TO PICK HIM UP.

"SO SHE DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE TO PICK HIM UP."

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FORTUNATELY, THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT.

"FORTUNATELY, THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT."

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THEY HAD LUNCH AT THE AIRPORT,

"THEY HAD LUNCH AT THE AIRPORT,"

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THEN THEY DROVE ON TO ST. PAUL.

"THEN THEY DROVE ON TO ST. PAUL."

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WAIT. UH, UH...

"WAIT. UH, UH..."

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BUT I THOUGHT SHE LIVED IN DULUTH, THERE.

"BUT I THOUGHT SHE LIVED IN DULUTH, THERE."

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SHE DOES, BUT THEY DON'T LIKE THE FOOD AT THE AIRPORT IN DULUTH.

"SHE DOES, BUT THEY DON'T LIKE THE FOOD AT THE AIRPORT IN DULUTH."

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YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,

"YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,"

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COACH WILL PROBABLY BE BACK

"COACH WILL PROBABLY BE BACK"

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BEFORE I COULD EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.

"BEFORE I COULD EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU."

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* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO *

"* YOU WANNA GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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WHAT DO YOU SAY LET'S GET OUT OF HERE?

"WHAT DO YOU SAY LET'S GET OUT OF HERE?"

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ALL THE GOOFS HAVE GONE HOME.

"ALL THE GOOFS HAVE GONE HOME."

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NOBODY TO LAUGH AT OR BUY US BEER.

"NOBODY TO LAUGH AT OR BUY US BEER."

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I THINK OUR WORK HERE IS DONE.

"I THINK OUR WORK HERE IS DONE."

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AMEN.

"AMEN."

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OOH, HEY.

"OOH, HEY."

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IS THAT CARLA'S POSITIVELY DISGUSTING EX-HUSBAND NICK?

"IS THAT CARLA'S POSITIVELY DISGUSTING EX-HUSBAND NICK?"

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ALL RIGHT, THINGS ARE PICKING UP, CLIFFIE.

"ALL RIGHT, THINGS ARE PICKING UP, CLIFFIE."

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HAVE A SEAT.

"HAVE A SEAT."

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UH, HELLO, BLONDIE.

"UH, HELLO, BLONDIE."

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I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER SEE ME AGAIN, RIGHT?

"I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER SEE ME AGAIN, RIGHT?"

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CHANGE "THOUGHT" TO "BEGGED GOD,"

"CHANGE "THOUGHT" TO "BEGGED GOD,""

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AND YOU'VE GOT IT EXACTLY.

"AND YOU'VE GOT IT EXACTLY."

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HEY, NICK.

"HEY, NICK."

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OH, HELLO, SAM.

"OH, HELLO, SAM."

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AND THE REST OF YOUSE.

"AND THE REST OF YOUSE."

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IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE SOME FRIENDLY FACES.

"IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE SOME FRIENDLY FACES."

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MY, CAN I USE THAT NOW.

"MY, CAN I USE THAT NOW."

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SOMETHING WRONG, NICK?

"SOMETHING WRONG, NICK?"

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YEAH, BUT LET'S NOT DWELL ON IT.

"YEAH, BUT LET'S NOT DWELL ON IT."

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IT WOULD TEAR YOUR HEART OUT.

"IT WOULD TEAR YOUR HEART OUT."

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IS CARLA BY ANY CHANCE AROUND?

"IS CARLA BY ANY CHANCE AROUND?"

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NO. SHE WENT HOME TONIGHT.

"NO. SHE WENT HOME TONIGHT."

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FRASIER, YOUR TEA IS READY.

"FRASIER, YOUR TEA IS READY."

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OH. UM, NICK TORTELLI,

"OH. UM, NICK TORTELLI,"

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THIS IS SOMEONE

"THIS IS SOMEONE"

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WITH WHOM YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON--

"WITH WHOM YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON--"

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MY PARAMOUR DR. FRASIER CRANE.

"MY PARAMOUR DR. FRASIER CRANE."

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DOCTOR OF WHAT? CAN YOU GET ANY PILLS?

"DOCTOR OF WHAT? CAN YOU GET ANY PILLS?"

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I'M A PSYCHIATRIST. UH...

"I'M A PSYCHIATRIST. UH..."

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HAVE WE MET?

"HAVE WE MET?"

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YOU WOULDN'T BY ANY CHANCE BE THE BOGUS MISSING LINK

"YOU WOULDN'T BY ANY CHANCE BE THE BOGUS MISSING LINK"

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EXHIBITED AT THE AMSTERDAM WORLD'S FAIR?

"EXHIBITED AT THE AMSTERDAM WORLD'S FAIR?"

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NO, BUT YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO ASK ME.

"NO, BUT YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO ASK ME."

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I WISH I'D DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

"I WISH I'D DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT."

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MAYBE MY LIFE WOULD BE WORTH SOMETHING.

"MAYBE MY LIFE WOULD BE WORTH SOMETHING."

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OH, BOY. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

"OH, BOY. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

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WHAT'S THE MATTER, NICK?

"WHAT'S THE MATTER, NICK?"

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YOU REMEMBER MY LOVELY WIFE LORETTA?

"YOU REMEMBER MY LOVELY WIFE LORETTA?"

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SURE DO. TALL BLONDE?

"SURE DO. TALL BLONDE?"

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SHE RAN OUT ON ME.

"SHE RAN OUT ON ME."

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YOU SEE, SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A SINGER.

"YOU SEE, SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A SINGER."

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SHE GOT AN OFFER FROM THIS BIG MUSICAL GROUP

"SHE GOT AN OFFER FROM THIS BIG MUSICAL GROUP"

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THAT'S TOURING THE COUNTRY-- THE GRINNING AMERICANS.

"THAT'S TOURING THE COUNTRY-- THE GRINNING AMERICANS."

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THE GRINNING WHAT?

"THE GRINNING WHAT?"

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THEY'RE A GROUP OF WHOLESOME YOUNG PEOPLE

"THEY'RE A GROUP OF WHOLESOME YOUNG PEOPLE"

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WHO WEAR PULLOVER SWEATERS, SING PATRIOTIC SONGS.

"WHO WEAR PULLOVER SWEATERS, SING PATRIOTIC SONGS."

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THEY'VE HAD ME AND MA

"THEY'VE HAD ME AND MA"

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MARCHING AROUND OUR LIVING ROOM

"MARCHING AROUND OUR LIVING ROOM"

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ON MORE THAN ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON, I CAN TELL YOU.

"ON MORE THAN ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON, I CAN TELL YOU."

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YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER, CLIFF?

"YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER, CLIFF?"

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I HAVE MY OWN ROOM.

"I HAVE MY OWN ROOM."

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I HAVE MY OWN HOT PLATE.

"I HAVE MY OWN HOT PLATE."

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YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING SICKO INTO THAT?

"YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING SICKO INTO THAT?"

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WELL...

"WELL..."

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YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST GUY TO LOSE A WOMAN, NICK.

"YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST GUY TO LOSE A WOMAN, NICK."

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YEAH, BUT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE WORST YET.

"YEAH, BUT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE WORST YET."

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YOU SEE, LORETTA WOULDN'T MARRY ME

"YOU SEE, LORETTA WOULDN'T MARRY ME"

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UNLESS I SIGNED ONE OF THEM PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENTS

"UNLESS I SIGNED ONE OF THEM PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENTS"

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AND PUT EVERYTHING IN HER NAME.

"AND PUT EVERYTHING IN HER NAME."

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I WAS UP TO MY EYEBALLS IN AMORE THAT NIGHT.

"I WAS UP TO MY EYEBALLS IN AMORE THAT NIGHT."

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SHE GOT THE HOUSE AND THE TORTELLI TELEVISION HOSPITAL.

"SHE GOT THE HOUSE AND THE TORTELLI TELEVISION HOSPITAL."

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OH, OUCH. LET ME GET YOU A DRINK.

"OH, OUCH. LET ME GET YOU A DRINK."

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OH, NO, NO. I COULDN'T. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING, SAM.

"OH, NO, NO. I COULDN'T. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING, SAM."

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I COULDN'T PAY FOR IT.

"I COULDN'T PAY FOR IT."

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IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

"IT'S ON THE HOUSE."

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NICK TORTELLI DON'T TAKE CHARITY OR PITY...

"NICK TORTELLI DON'T TAKE CHARITY OR PITY..."

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OR SODA, SO MAKE IT NEAT.

"OR SODA, SO MAKE IT NEAT."

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I FORGOT MY PURSE.

"I FORGOT MY PURSE."

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NICK. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?

"NICK. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

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I CAME TO SEE IF I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT.

"I CAME TO SEE IF I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT."

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SORRY. OUR NEW SNAIL PELLETS TOOK CARE OF THEM.

"SORRY. OUR NEW SNAIL PELLETS TOOK CARE OF THEM."

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YOU LOOK PRETTY, CARLA.

"YOU LOOK PRETTY, CARLA."

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THE TWINKIE LEFT YOU, DIDN'T SHE?

"THE TWINKIE LEFT YOU, DIDN'T SHE?"

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SHE TOOK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, DIDN'T SHE?

"SHE TOOK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, DIDN'T SHE?"

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PLEASE, TELL ME SHE TOOK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

"PLEASE, TELL ME SHE TOOK YOU FOR EVERYTHING."

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I WAS BORN INTO THIS WORLD NAKED, AND SO SHALL I LEAVE IT.

"I WAS BORN INTO THIS WORLD NAKED, AND SO SHALL I LEAVE IT."

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BUT PLEASE STAY FULLY CLOTHED THE REST OF THE TIME.

"BUT PLEASE STAY FULLY CLOTHED THE REST OF THE TIME."

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YOU GOT A GUY, CARLA?

"YOU GOT A GUY, CARLA?"

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NO. I SWALLOWED A BEACH BALL.

"NO. I SWALLOWED A BEACH BALL."

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FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM NOT SEEING ANYBODY,

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM NOT SEEING ANYBODY,"

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