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Clips from Family Guy - Tales of Former Sports Glory (S19E19)

"I spilled spot remover on my dog,"
Family Guy
"and now he's gone."
Family Guy
"Are you serious?!"
Family Guy
"I became famous for smashing rackets"
Family Guy
"when things didn't go my way."
Family Guy
"Of course, back then, we didn't have multiple rackets,"
Family Guy
"so I was forced to play with it."
Family Guy
"Ultimately, my career ended when I developed the yips."
Family Guy
"And in 2001, at the U. S. Open, my first serve hit a plane,"
Family Guy
"causing it to go tragically off course and hit a building."
Family Guy
"Everyone blamed the Muslims."
Family Guy
"My second serve was no better."
Family Guy
"You guys talking sports stories?"
Family Guy
"You know, I won a bronze medal in the '84 Olympics."
Family Guy
"Are you serious?!"
Family Guy
"Track and field. It's a pretty good story."
Family Guy
"It's a series of coincidences that if someone wrote,"
Family Guy
"no one would believe."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, why is there only half a medal?"
Family Guy
"Hoo! How much time you got?"
Family Guy
"We got about seven minutes, and I haven't gone yet."
Family Guy
"Rocky."
Family Guy
"Like most, my day began with block letters of my name"
Family Guy
"floating past the screen."
Family Guy
"I grew up on the mean streets of Philadelphia,"
Family Guy
"the City of Brotherly Love."
Family Guy
"Or, as I called it, America's Northernmost Hillbillies."
Family Guy
"I was an Italian guy from the South Side"
Family Guy
"who never had a chance in life."
Family Guy
"to one day be the heavyweight champ."
Family Guy
"Yo, Petey!"
Family Guy
"Yo, fella!"
Family Guy
"Yo, Petey!"
Family Guy
"Yo, Delayheehoo!"
Family Guy
"It was a tough time in Philadelphia."
Family Guy
"We were losing dozens of men every day"
Family Guy
"to singing over open trash can fires."
Family Guy
"Yo, Petey!"
Family Guy
"Yo, Flaming Guy!"
Family Guy
"Aah! Aah!"
Family Guy
"I was a two‐bit knuckle breaker for the mob."
Family Guy
"But it was a flash mob."
Family Guy
"- ♪ - You owe us two grand."
Family Guy
"Don't make me come back."
Family Guy
"You better pay or we'll funk you up."
Family Guy
"I said we will funk you up."
Family Guy
"Like most fighters, I fell in love"
Family Guy
"with the local autistic girl who worked at the pet shop."
Family Guy
"I was one of her pet shop boys."
Family Guy
"Yo, hey, turtles. How you doin'?"
Family Guy
"How come they're not moving?"
Family Guy
"You sat on them yesterday. They're dead."
Family Guy
"- What happened to your eye? - I got beat up again in a fight."
Family Guy
"Yo, Lois, the San Gennaro festival was last weekend."
Family Guy
"You know, I was wondering if, uh,"
Family Guy
"- maybe you might want to go to it with me. - When is it?"
Family Guy
"- Last weekend. - Well, then I don't think that's possible, Peter. No."
Family Guy
"I could see she was gonna play hard to get."
Family Guy
"All right, okay, well, uh, want to maybe go to the park"
Family Guy
"and feed the pigeons yesterday?"
Family Guy
"Peter, I already did yesterday stuff. Sorry."
Family Guy
"Well, then how about we just get coffee this morning"
Family Guy
"- before you got to be at work? - It's 4:00 in the afternoon."
Family Guy
"I'm afraid that's not gonna work, either."
Family Guy
"Okay, well, I'll circle back last week"
Family Guy
"and see what your schedule looks like."
Family Guy
"I was not the smartest guy, but I wasn't gonna give up."
Family Guy
"I lived in the Little Italy section of Philly."
Family Guy
"My apartment was tiny."
Family Guy
"I didn't have much stuff, but, still, it felt cramped."
Family Guy
"I really needed a bigger place."
Family Guy
"I wanted to work the speed bag,"
Family Guy
"but my gym was so cheap it didn't have one."
Family Guy
"So I had to do the noises."
Family Guy
"Dug‐a‐duh, dug‐a‐duh, dug‐a‐duh, dug‐a‐duh, dug‐a‐duh."
Family Guy
"Harder hit!"
Family Guy
"I fought my way up through the amateur ranks."
Family Guy
"Most fights, my greatest challenge was entering the ring"
Family Guy
"without getting completely tangled in the ropes."
Family Guy
"Little help? Is my butt out?"
Family Guy
"My butt's out, isn't it?"
Family Guy
"Sorry you got to see that back there, ma'am."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I couldn't wipe. I had my gloves on already."
Family Guy
"Stop taking pictures, please."
Family Guy
"My least favorite part of boxing was the weigh‐ins."
Family Guy
"‐ ‐Hey, Keenan, Damon, Marlon."
Family Guy
"Good luck, Peter."
Family Guy
"Moo!"
Family Guy
"Oh, ha, ha."
Family Guy
"And I was the only guy who wouldn't"
Family Guy
"get naked in the locker room."
Family Guy
"I don't got a problem getting naked,"
Family Guy
"I‐I just don't have to change right now."
Family Guy
"I became known as an up‐and‐comer"
Family Guy
"with a mean left hook,"
Family Guy
"who farted every time he got punched in the stomach."
Family Guy
"By the second round, the entire front row had pink eye."
Family Guy
"I ran with a towel around my neck"
Family Guy
"tucked into my sweat suit, 'cause I always wanted"
Family Guy
"to look like a rich guy in a bathrobe."
Family Guy
"Then I promised Lois I'd see the Mark Rothko exhibit"
Family Guy
"at the Philadelphia Museum of Art."
Family Guy
"But when I got there, it was closed."
Family Guy
"Meanwhile, Lois and I were getting serious,"
Family Guy
"so I popped the question."
Family Guy
"Hey, listen, Lois, I was wondering,"
Family Guy
"if you're not too busy, what would you think"
Family Guy
"about spending the previous part of your life with me?"
Family Guy
"I'm afraid that's not possible, Peter."
Family Guy
"But I was rising through the ranks"
Family Guy
"and fighting bigger and better opponents."
Family Guy
"I fought Butterbean,"
Family Guy
"then I fought Can't Believe It's Not Butterbean."
Family Guy
"I could barely tell the difference."
Family Guy
"I fought Sugar Ray Leonard Nimoy,"
Family Guy
"who put a Vulcan nerve pinch on me."
Family Guy
"The fight was deemed highly illogical."
Family Guy
"I defeated Lennox Lewis and the News,"
Family Guy
"Evander Sallyfield"
Family Guy
"and Roberto Duran Duran."
Family Guy
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