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Clips from Cheers - Affairs of the Heart (S02E02)

"YOU'RE AFRAID THAT YOU'RE GOING TO FALL FOR THIS GUY."
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"NO. I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THIS GUY."
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"I'VE ALREADY FALLEN FOR THIS GUY."
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"AHA. AND NOW YOU'RE AFRAID HE'S GOING TO TURN INTO A JERK, RIGHT?"
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"NO, SMART GUY, HE'S ALREADY A JERK."
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"WHY IS HE A JERK?"
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"BECAUSE HE'S DISHONEST."
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"WHY IS HE DISHONEST?"
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"BECAUSE HE'S HIDING THE FACT THAT HE'S A JERK."
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"WHO'S JERKING WHO HERE?"
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"COME ON, CARLA. YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU'RE SO TOUGH."
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"YOU TALK TOUGH, YOU ACT TOUGH."
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"YOU'RE NOT TOUGH. TOUGH GUYS TAKE CHANCES."
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"YOU'RE A CHICKEN."
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"DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT."
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"AHA. AHA. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, CARLA. YOU'RE A CHICKEN."
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"BOK! BOK! BOK! BOK!"
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"HEY! HEY! HEY!"
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"I WANT TO GO WITH YOU."
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"YOU HAVE BEEN CRUISING ON YOUR LOOKS FOR TOO LONG BUDDY."
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"I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT WITH YOU."
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"YEAH YOU ARE. YEAH YOU ARE. LET'S GO."
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"OOH!"
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"HEY, CARLA, COME ON. YOU'RE HALF MY SIZE."
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"OW! COME ON. THAT'S DIRTY."
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"YEOW!"
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"NOBODY CALLS ME CHICKEN."
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"I'LL SHOW YOU. I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE. I'M GOING TO BE SO VULNERABLE."
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"I'M GOING TO OPEN MYSELF UP TO HAPPINESS LIKE A BANSHEE."
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"HEY, SAM. COULD I HAVE THE NIGHT OFF?"
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"OW!"
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"THANKS."
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"FEEL BETTER NOW?"
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"YEAH, I THOUGHT SO."
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"HI."
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"HI."
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"WANT TO GO TO MY PLACE?"
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"YOU BET."
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"WE CAN'T. MY KIDS ARE THERE."
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"HOW ABOUT YOUR PLACE?"
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"I TOLD YOU, I'M STAYING WITH A FRIEND"
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"UNTIL MY APARTMENT'S READY."
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"DIANE, GIVE ME THE KEYS TO YOUR PLACE."
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"I WILL NOT."
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"HEY. YOU'RE THE MATCHMAKER."
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"YOU WANT THIS THING TO WORK OUT,"
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"OR YOU WANT IT TO END UP WITH A BROKEN HEART AND A BROKEN LIP?"
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"ENJOY."
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"THANK YOU."
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"AND CARLA WHEN YOU'RE DONE, JUST BURN THE PLACE."
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"COME ON."
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"CARLA, YOU JUST MADE ME THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH."
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"JUST WAIT."
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"SAM."
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"SAM!"
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"WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?"
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"DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY."
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"SHE DIDN'T HURT ANY OF THE GOOD STUFF."
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"ROMANCE IN THIS BAR IS KIND OF AN INSPIRATION. YOU KNOW, UH,"
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"YOU, DIANE. CARLA, HANK, THERE."
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"SEEING YOU ALL MAKES ME KIND OF THINK"
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"THINK THAT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE THERE'S SOMEBODY FOR ME."
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"THERE ARE THOSE THAT WOULD DISAGREE, I GUESS."
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"I'M SORRY, CLIFF."
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"JUST A PICTURE CAME TO MIND"
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"OF YOU IN THE SACK."
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"I SEE YOUR MAILBAG DRAPED OVER A CHAIR"
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"NEXT TO YOUR GABARDINES."
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"YEAH? YEAH?"
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"THAT'S AS FAR AS I WANTED TO LOOK."
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"WAIT A MINUTE. I AGREE WITH CLIFF."
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"CHEERS IS A ROMANTIC BAR."
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"I MEAN, YOU TAKE EVEN A POOR GUY LIKE HANK,"
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"WITH HIS TERRIBLE PROBLEM,"
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"HE COMES IN HERE, HE CAN GET A GIRL."
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"COACH, WHAT TERRIBLE PROBLEM?"
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"WELL, I'M SORRY. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT."
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"HANK TOLD ME NOT TO."
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"COACH, THIS COULD BE KIND OF IMPORTANT."
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"CAN YOU GIVE US A HINT OR SOMETHING?"
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"A HINT. OK. I GOT ONE, UH..."
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"LEFTY KRAMER."
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"LEFTY KRAMER, THE OLD THIRD BASEMAN?"
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"RIGHT. LEFTY HAS THE SAME PROBLEM THAT HANK HAS."
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"HANK CAN'T HIT A BREAKING PITCH?"
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"OH, YEAH. POOR CARLA, HUH?"
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"YEAH. SHE'LL BE CRUSHED."
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"GO ON. KEEP THINKING."
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"THINK. WHAT PROBLEM DID LEFTY HAVE?"
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"WELL, HE WAS UGLY AS A MUD FENCE."
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"I REMEMBER THAT. HE WAS A BAD DRESSER."
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"HE USED TO SPIT TOBACCO JUICE ALL OVER HIM."
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"HA HA HA HE WAS GREAT."
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"COULD WE FORGET LEFTY?"
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"WHAT'S WRONG WITH HANK, COACH?"
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"WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE, I GOT IT."
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"COACH, LEFTY HAD A HEART PROBLEM."
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"THAT'S IT."
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"HANK HAS THE SAME THING."
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"I MEAN, THE LEAST BIT OF EXCITEMENT, WHAM, BAM, IT'S CURTAINS."
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"COACH, HOW ABOUT SEX?"
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"DIANE, PLEASE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAM'S GIRL."
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"NO."
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"COACH, I'M TALKING ABOUT HANK."
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"HANK IS SEEING CARLA. ARE YOU LISTENING TO THIS?"
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"COACH. COACH, WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO SAY IS,"
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"IS HANK IN ANY DANGER WITH CARLA TONIGHT?"
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"NO. NO. NOT AT ALL."
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"NOT AT ALL...UNLESS HE GETS OVER EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING."
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"OH! OH, SAM...WE'VE GOT TO STOP THEM!"
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"WAIT. WAIT. HANK WOULDN'T HAVE GONE WITH CARLA IF HE THOUGHT IT WAS RISKY RIGHT?"
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"OH, COME ON."
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"YEAH. YEAH."
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"WE'VE GOT TO STOP THEM."
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"WE'VE GOT TO WARN CARLA, AT LEAST."
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"I MEAN MY GOD...I MEAN"
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"WHAT A SHOCK IF THE GUY WERE TO DROP DEAD IN CARLA'S OWN BED"
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"OH, GOD. SHE'S IN MY APARTMENT."
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"YOU'RE KIDDING."
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"WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I LET BEDROOM."
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