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Clips from Archer - Three to Tango (S06E06)

"[Man] Wait. What happened?"
Archer
"I thought you were going to renovate this place."
Archer
"As did I, but I was betrayed"
Archer
"by a lying little country music wannabe."
Archer
"[Cheryl] Was that directed at me?"
Archer
"Yes! Who else?"
Archer
"I don't know who all lies to you!"
Archer
"[Intercom beeps] Also, there's a Mr. Slater to see you."
Archer
"Just "Slater." It's a mononym, like--"
Archer
"Jesus Christ! Nope."
Archer
"He's in here, you ritzy ditz!"
Archer
"[Computer shatters]"
Archer
"[Distorted voice] What are you doing, Dave?"
Archer
"So, uh, should I come back?"
Archer
"No. No, no, no, no, no. Of course not."
Archer
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking."
Archer
"I mean, whatever the task, we are up to it."
Archer
"We are professional and-- [Intercom beeps]"
Archer
"There's a Mr. Slater to see you."
Archer
"[Sighs] I'm gonna go."
Archer
"Good. Why are you here in the first place?"
Archer
"Mr. Slater-- Just "Slater"!"
Archer
"And hang on. Excuse me, are you and I gonna have a problem?"
Archer
"I mean, I'm sure we will at some point, but--"
Archer
"Sterling! Mr.--"
Archer
"Just "Slater"."
Archer
"Has-- Had--"
Archer
"an important assignment for us, which I'm sure"
Archer
"we can kick right through the basket for a homerun."
Archer
"I'm gonna go."
Archer
"Look, you're already here."
Archer
"Why not just tell us what the mission is?"
Archer
"I will, but only because I choose to."
Archer
"One of our-- well, I guess you could call him a freelancer--"
Archer
"What do you call him? I call him a freelancer."
Archer
"So shut up, please."
Archer
"Anyway, he needs an extraction from"
Archer
"[Latin American accent] Buenos Aires."
Archer
"Ugh, it's just us. You can say,"
Archer
"[American accent] "Bwaynos Air-eez.""
Archer
"And-- hush. And what operation"
Archer
"is the CIA conducting in Argentina?"
Archer
"Oh, sorry. It's called "Operation Nunya.""
Archer
"I-- As in "beeswax," Lana."
Archer
"Yes, I-- [Muffled] Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit."
Archer
"To help a patient who's been burned?"
Archer
"No."
Archer
"Anyway-- [Sighs] his cover's been blown."
Archer
"Argentine intelligence is onto him,"
Archer
"So, why us? Why not keep it in-house at CIA?"
Archer
"Because, turns out, you actually know this operator."
Archer
"Uh, do you mind? Hmm?"
Archer
"[Gasps] Oh."
Archer
"[All] Conway Stern?"
Archer
"Yes, Conway Stern."
Archer
"Questions?"
Archer
"Yeah, can I start?"
Archer
"You guys mind if I start? I'll start."
Archer
"Are you out of your shitting mind?"
Archer
"Sterling! Excuse me?"
Archer
"He literally stabbed me in the back!"
Archer
"Because you jeopardized his mission."
Archer
"What mission? To sell classified military technology to the Chinese?"
Archer
"Phony technology we wanted China to have."
Archer
"They've been chasing their tails on the whisper drive for years."
Archer
"Oh. "Oh"?"
Archer
"I knew it. In my heart of hearts,"
Archer
"I knew he was one of the good guys."
Archer
"Literally! The back! Stabbed it!"
Archer
"Well, then you people ripped off his hands, so..."
Archer
"After he literally stabbed me! In the back!"
Archer
"Oh, give it a rest, Sterling."
Archer
"I'm sure you did something to deserve it. What--?"
Archer
"But now you have a chance to right that wrong,"
Archer
"which is a rare thing."
Archer
"About as rare as getting called up to the majors"
Archer
"from single-a ball--"
Archer
"Hey! Lana."
Archer
"I assume that was a sports analogy meant to be cutting,"
Archer
"but we will take the mission, won't we, Sterling?"
Archer
"Huh? Yeah. Oh, sorry."
Archer
"It's just I'm worried, my entire life,"
Archer
"I've been misusing the word "literally"!"
Archer
"[Intercom beeps] And certainly overusing."
Archer
"[Electricity crackles]"
Archer
"[Tango music playing]"
Archer
"[Archer] You're not worried? [Lana] Why should I worry?"
Archer
"Because I'm the one that ripped of Conway's hand?"
Archer
"No. About-- Or that he'll double-cross us again?"
Archer
"Which, a blowjob says he does."
Archer
"And mother and Slater and the CIA are idiots for trusting him,"
Archer
"but I'm talking about us flying on the same plane, Lana. What if it crashed?"
Archer
"Then I wouldn't have had to watch you pound 20 drinks"
Archer
"and then try to talk the stewardess into a handjob."
Archer
"Where are you getting 20 drinks?"
Archer
"Uh, from ten doubles."
Archer
""A", those were mini-bottles,"
Archer
"and two, I'm talking about A.J., Lana."
Archer
"Who's going to take care of her"
Archer
"if something happens to both of us?"
Archer
"Well, me. Obviously."
Archer
"You think-- [Chuckles] Okay. Wow."
Archer
"You think, in the event of their deaths,"
Archer
"that you would be A.J.'s legal guardian?"
Archer
"Who else would they possibly choose?"
Archer
"You've met yourself, right?"
Archer
"If it's anybody around here, it's me."
Archer
"Of course. The one who smokes next to the baby."
Archer
"Dukes!"
Archer
"[Inhales deeply]"
Archer
"Ray!"
Archer
"You know--"
Archer
"[coughs]"
Archer
"All right, Virginia Slim. You're--"
Archer
"Nap time!"
Archer
"I have a meeting. Good-bye."
Archer
"[Tango music playing]"
Archer
"Look, don't worry about A.J., okay?"
Archer
"[Scoffs] Well, I think one of us should."
Archer
"No, I-- And I vote for mother and Woodhouse."
Archer
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