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Clips from Hubie Halloween

"- My bad. - Guess they're talkin' about this fella."
Hubie Halloween
"Pubie?"
Hubie Halloween
"I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli."
Hubie Halloween
"Dan, Louise, let's table this discussion for a moment, okay?"
Hubie Halloween
"- To be continued, I guess. - Oh, you guess?"
Hubie Halloween
"I wish it was you that was knifed up instead of peanut."
Hubie Halloween
"You hear this? Can I borrow your gun?"
Hubie Halloween
"I assure you can arrest me right afterwards."
Hubie Halloween
"Cut your gizzards off. That's what I should do."
Hubie Halloween
"Officer Steve, I saw my ne..."
Hubie Halloween
"Never mind that. Cop a squat."
Hubie Halloween
"- Here? - Yeah."
Hubie Halloween
"Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem?"
Hubie Halloween
"Eh, my whole life."
Hubie Halloween
"Now, you've brought us many instances of unlawful conduct"
Hubie Halloween
"to our attention over the years."
Hubie Halloween
"Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot."
Hubie Halloween
"There's a diaper in Dori's pond."
Hubie Halloween
"There's a weird station wagon at the senior center."
Hubie Halloween
"The supermarket is selling expired bacon."
Hubie Halloween
"Janet at the library has not been herself lately."
Hubie Halloween
"I heard a voice in the sewer."
Hubie Halloween
"I'm sorry. I didn't recognize him."
Hubie Halloween
"The power of observation, the ability to blend in."
Hubie Halloween
"That is you in a nutshell, Hubie."
Hubie Halloween
"Well, Steven, let's talk turkey."
Hubie Halloween
"May I?"
Hubie Halloween
"Mmm… I only have 30 left."
Hubie Halloween
"Okay."
Hubie Halloween
"You ever hear of an AUU?"
Hubie Halloween
"I don't have an Internet, so I'm not up on my latest abbreviations."
Hubie Halloween
"Illuminate me."
Hubie Halloween
"AUU stands for "Auxiliary Undercover Unit.""
Hubie Halloween
"Now, before you get too excited,"
Hubie Halloween
"let me tell you what it entails, okay?"
Hubie Halloween
"First off, there's no salary."
Hubie Halloween
"There's no badge."
Hubie Halloween
"We can't acknowledge you officially"
Hubie Halloween
"in any way whatsoever. And..."
Hubie Halloween
"And the most important thing is"
Hubie Halloween
"you can never be seen talking to me or any other officer in this place."
Hubie Halloween
"A question. How would I go about getting the information to you?"
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, you just keep a log. A very detailed log."
Hubie Halloween
"And you drop that log right here."
Hubie Halloween
"In the garbage can directly outside Town Hall."
Hubie Halloween
"So, drop a log in a garbage can?"
Hubie Halloween
"Well, that garbage can, that's monitored, 24-7."
Hubie Halloween
"So, any intel that you have, it's gonna get to us. We'll know about it."
Hubie Halloween
"- Makes... makes sense. - Yep."
Hubie Halloween
"But remember, you cannot contact us, no matter how dire the emergency."
Hubie Halloween
"- Yeah, I heard you the first time. - Yeah, I said it twice, it's important."
Hubie Halloween
"- Gotcha. - So, you ready to join the team?"
Hubie Halloween
"Put me in, coach. I'm ready to play."
Hubie Halloween
"All right!"
Hubie Halloween
"Perfect."
Hubie Halloween
"Tommy, I want mom to bring half my candy to the homeless shelter in the morning."
Hubie Halloween
"Will you tell her when she gets home?"
Hubie Halloween
"Tommy?"
Hubie Halloween
"Tommy!"
Hubie Halloween
"Tommy?"
Hubie Halloween
"Tommy, where are you?"
Hubie Halloween
"Danielle! Mom isn't home yet, and I can't find Tommy. I'm scared."
Hubie Halloween
"- Did you check the basement? - I checked everywhere. He's not here."
Hubie Halloween
"You know what that means? Our brother's in love."
Hubie Halloween
"Ew!"
Hubie Halloween
"How we doin', ladies?"
Hubie Halloween
"Great, Freddie Mercury."
Hubie Halloween
"So lit to have freshman girls here. New crop of hotties to hit on."
Hubie Halloween
"Hey! Easy, Mikey. My sister's a freshman."
Hubie Halloween
"Dude, I would never even consider your sister in that way."
Hubie Halloween
"She's got no personality and a greasy forehead."
Hubie Halloween
"You're a good friend, man."
Hubie Halloween
"Ha ha ha!"
Hubie Halloween
"Hi."
Hubie Halloween
"Didn't I see you on Union Street a couple of hours ago trick-or-treating?"
Hubie Halloween
"Well, I had to take out my two new sisters, remember?"
Hubie Halloween
"I don't know. I thought I saw you hold open your bag to get some candy."
Hubie Halloween
"That's not babysitting, that's trick-or-treating."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, my God. I know, I know. It's so pathetic."
Hubie Halloween
"It's not pathetic."
Hubie Halloween
"If you brought me a Kit Kat bar."
Hubie Halloween
"Well, I have a few."
Hubie Halloween
"Excuse me. Smokers for chokers."
Hubie Halloween
"- What's your problem? - I got a problem?"
Hubie Halloween
"I think you got the problem."
Hubie Halloween
"How we doing, guys?"
Hubie Halloween
"- What's up, old man? - Got some ID for that drink?"
Hubie Halloween
"- What? - Yeah, not on my watch."
Hubie Halloween
"{\an8}- What the hell? - It's for the best."
Hubie Halloween
"And I think we are gonna dehydrate. Let's break that up."
Hubie Halloween
"- Watch it, GI Jackass. - You wanna die?"
Hubie Halloween
"Not yet."
Hubie Halloween
"Uh, excuse me, Grandpa Thermos, you need to leave the party right now."
Hubie Halloween
"Leave public property? I don't see that happening."
Hubie Halloween
"Leave. Or I'll beat you with a tire iron."
Hubie Halloween
"You and whose army?"
Hubie Halloween
"Just me."
Hubie Halloween
"- And me. - And me."
Hubie Halloween
"- And me. - And definitely me."
Hubie Halloween
"- Let's kill him! - Yeah! Yeah!"
Hubie Halloween
"Hang on! All right."
Hubie Halloween
"I realize I might have gone too far for your teenage mental capacities"
Hubie Halloween
"and that is a boner on my part."
Hubie Halloween
"- I don't think he knows what boner means. - No, definitely not."
Hubie Halloween
"When I was your age, I made some huge boners."
Hubie Halloween
"Boners that I wish I could get back now."
Hubie Halloween
"Listen, give me a minute head start,"
Hubie Halloween
"then tell him there's a kid stuck in the corn maze."
Hubie Halloween
"And why am I doing that?"
Hubie Halloween
"'Cause I am going to scare the living crap out of him."
Hubie Halloween
"Really? Does he scare easy?"
Hubie Halloween
"Oh my…"
Hubie Halloween
"Ah! Oh!"
Hubie Halloween
"Yes."
Hubie Halloween
"Yes, he does."
Hubie Halloween
"Actually, I had a good time with you guys after all."
Hubie Halloween
"It was fun. Hope we do it again next year. Give a hoot, don't pollute."
Hubie Halloween
"- Isn't that Woodsy the Owl? - No, he was Tootsie Pops."
Hubie Halloween
"Hey, Mr. Pubois."
Hubie Halloween
"- Dubois. - Dubois."
Hubie Halloween
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