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Clips from Hubie Halloween

"Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise."
Hubie Halloween
"And I think you've been eating too many of your own boogers, Dan."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, at least my mama don't stink the toilet up so bad,"
Hubie Halloween
"we gotta get rid of the shower curtain."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, you gonna bring up my mama in front of the police, huh?"
Hubie Halloween
"Ain't nobody say nothin' 'bout your big-ass mama."
Hubie Halloween
"She come in the house and broke all the furniture."
Hubie Halloween
"My mom wouldn't break up the furniture"
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"if you hadn't bought that cheap Ikea stuff and put it together with a butter knife!"
Hubie Halloween
"Well, if I had a real man, then I wouldn't have to do it myself now, would I?"
Hubie Halloween
"Peanut's dead!"
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"We gonna eat Peanut tonight!"
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"Look at these nerds."
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"Unbelievable. You can say a lot of things about me, I was never a nerd."
Hubie Halloween
"Hey, pimples!"
Hubie Halloween
"Pubie!"
Hubie Halloween
"Pubie? Uh, who's... who's Pubie?"
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"You are, Pubie. Landolfa called you that yesterday."
Hubie Halloween
"Hilarious."
Hubie Halloween
"Janitor, some drunk guy dressed as Captain Underpants"
Hubie Halloween
"just threw up in the jail exhibit."
Hubie Halloween
"That's my cue. Call me if you get lonely, Violet."
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"Don't call me."
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"Wasn't plannin' on it. Hey, Dot."
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"So, I saw there were massive lines out front."
Hubie Halloween
"I took the liberty to print up some happy Halloween word searches."
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"You can pass it out to the kids."
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"Give them something to do while they're waiting."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, Hubie, how lovely."
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"Thank you so much."
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"Of course."
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"So, Violet Valentine."
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"Good to see you. Happy Halloween."
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"- Thank you. - What brings you here?"
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"I am chaperoning my daughter's field trip."
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"She's over there. Danielle! Danielle!"
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"Say hello to Hubie."
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"Hi, Hubie. What school do you go to?"
Hubie Halloween
"No. He's a grown man. I've known him since kindergarten."
Hubie Halloween
"Yes. We had Miss Colestice's class together."
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"- Yes, we did. - You were the first kid to get earrings."
Hubie Halloween
"I was."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought 'cause of the thermos."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, why? Do you want some soup?"
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"- Uh, no, thanks. - Your friends?"
Hubie Halloween
"All right. It's here if you want it."
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"- What was that? - What was that about?"
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"What a nice young lady. I remember you just had a foster son."
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"Yeah. Well, I've got two foster daughters now as well."
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"Huh. That's quite commendable."
Hubie Halloween
"Looking out for the community. That's important."
Hubie Halloween
"Of course. That's my great-great-great-great-great grandmother."
Hubie Halloween
"She saw some bad things happening, but she spoke out."
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"Said there's no such thing as witches."
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"- Very brave. - Yeah, maybe too brave."
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"'Cause they called her a witch and ended up like this fella."
Hubie Halloween
"- Ooh. - The unfortunate dangling Dave."
Hubie Halloween
"God, I love the way you phrase things."
Hubie Halloween
"Okay."
Hubie Halloween
"So, how are you and Officer Steve doing? I saw him yesterday in his squad car."
Hubie Halloween
"We were talking shop. You know, code 10-4, 10-5. That kinda thing."
Hubie Halloween
"Well, since we've been divorced four years,"
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"- I don't really know how he's doing. - Oh, well, don't lose faith."
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"You guys will get through this rough patch."
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"Did you hear about the Andersons?"
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"I met the fellow who moved into their home. A Walter Lambert."
Hubie Halloween
"Seems like a decent guy."
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"- Walter Lambert? - Yeah."
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"There's a Walter Lambert buried right near my grandpa in the Pine Street Cemetery."
Hubie Halloween
"Okay."
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"I only remember that name because there is something off about his tombstone."
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"- Off how? - Well, I know you, Hubie Dubois."
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"- Mm-hmm. - You'll see."
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"Okay."
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"What is that fool doing here?"
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"No clue."
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"- You want me to kick his ass, Father? - Not yet. But stay close."
Hubie Halloween
"That concludes our service."
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"The family has invited you all to a luncheon."
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"A luncheon at the, uh, Captain's Table on Foster Street. Thank you."
Hubie Halloween
"He never died?"
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"Boobie! What are you doing?"
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"Nothing. What are you doing?"
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"I'm officiating a funeral."
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"On Halloween?"
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"People die every day, dummy. They don't skip holidays."
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"- Even April Fool's Day? - Shut it."
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"And if you get dirt on my good funeral shoes again,"
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"I'm gonna bury one up your butt."
Hubie Halloween
"Okay. You want some soup?"
Hubie Halloween
"No, I don't want some s..."
Hubie Halloween
"- Good to wash off the dirt. - Here, let me help you."
Hubie Halloween
"Oh, is this..."
Hubie Halloween
"Condolences, by the way."
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"And I love the Wicked Witch costume. It's classic."
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"It's not a costume."
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"Not a costume? Okay. My boner."
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"Why he talk about his boner?"
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"Hello, Hubes. What did you do wrong?"
Hubie Halloween
"I don't think anything."
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"By the way, I wanted to say that I'm sorry"
Hubie Halloween
"for my attitude yesterday at the deli counter."
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"My dad, you know, he died unexpected,"
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"and I just haven't been myself these past few days."
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"This is your dad's funeral? I'm so sorry. I didn't..."
Hubie Halloween
"My father passed away a couple of years ago."
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"It is very painful. It's..."
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"- Ups and downs, emotionally. - Yeah. My dad was a serious man."
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"He worked hard every single day of his life."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"- But he did love to laugh. - Okay."
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"And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this."
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"Have fun, Pubes."
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"Ma! He's an idiota, deficiente!"
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"Disrespectful?"
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"No, this is good."
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"We want him in the hole."
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"God would want this."
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"Somebody's down here!"
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"Ah! The dead speak!"
Hubie Halloween
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