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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Night to Remember (S04E04)

"ADULT ADAM: Ah, school dances."
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"Back in the day, nothing was better"
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"than dressing up and getting down with all your friends."
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"And the king of them all was prom,"
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"a magical night everyone wanted to remember forever,"
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"but no one wanted to make it last more than my big bro."
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"Hello, Father."
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"I come to you today with a life-and-death request."
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"Why do you look like a department store pianist?"
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"You're a department store pianist!"
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"No! Sorry. Let me start over."
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"As you know, next weekend is prom."
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"It is literally guaranteed to be a night to remember."
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"That's the theme, and I take it very seriously."
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"That's why you will fully fund this venture."
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"Go away."
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"But you have yet to hear the extraordinary details."
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"Me and Lainey begin the night"
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"crossing the Delaware River on a hot-air balloon."
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"- Go. - Upon landing, 12 Clydesdales"
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"will pull our bejeweled carriage to school"
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"on a path of freshly cut white roses."
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"- Get out of my face. - Tiki torches will light the way,"
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"as 100 bald eagles soar into the sky,"
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"each carrying a poem handwritten by a haiku expert."
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"- I'm begging you. - That's when El DeBarge serenades us"
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"as we destroy the dance floor with our love."
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"I'm not paying for an El DeBarge."
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"This all can come true for a measly $22,000."
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"You are an insane person. You're not getting a penny."
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"Mom! Dad isn't financially supporting my prom dream!"
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"Murray, give my baby money for the prom."
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"We need a new roof, not to balloon him to prom."
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"Lainey's graduating, and we don't have that much time together."
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"I have to make this extra-special."
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"I can't believe my babies are growing up."
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"One's graduating, the other's going to prom."
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"Thank God I still have Adam to focus everything on."
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"Wait. What?"
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"Don't worry, pickle. It'll be wonderful."
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"We'll be together morning, noon, and night."
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"(GASPS) Barry, please. Take me with you in the hot-air balloon."
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"No way, bro. It only seats three."
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"And I have a call in to Yo-Yo Ma"
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"to do amazing yo-yo tricks as we fly over the city."
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"- I'll give you 80 bucks. - Deal!"
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"Only one thing left to do. Ask Lainey."
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"And I know the perfect way to do it."
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"(FIRE ALARM RINGING)"
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"Lainey Lewis, will you go to prom with me?"
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"- Oh, God. What did you do? - What any man would."
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"Show a terrified school how much I love you."
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"There's no fire, is there, Goldberg?"
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"Only the one burning in my heart for this sweet lady right here."
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"Damn it. All right, everybody back to class!"
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"- (ALL GROANING) - I hope you brought your wallet,"
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"because the fire department charges 80 bucks for false alarms."
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"No problem. I happen to have that exact amount right..."
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"(GASPS) Oh, no!"
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"MAN: (SINGING) I'm twisted up inside"
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"But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"I don't know the future"
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"But the past keeps getting clearer every day"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was prom season, 1980-something,"
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"and I was doing what every other kid was."
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"Hanging up signs for my missing cape."
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"If my cape went missing, I would need answers, too."
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"Wait. You're into theater? Why haven't I seen you in drama club?"
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"I go to theater camp during the summer."
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"Your dad will pay money for that? Whoa."
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"Whoa again! You're starting a sci-fi magazine?"
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"My mom said I have to pad out my college resume."
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"I also love sci-fi! (CHUCKLES)"
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"I'm getting too excited. Deep breath."
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"- I'm Adam. - Jackie."
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"If you're interested, you should write something."
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"Interested?"
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"Let's just say it's my cup of Bantha milk."
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"Wow. I see the Force is strong with you."
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"That deep Star Wars pull didn't confuse and alienate you?"
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"(GASPS) Amazing."
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"ADULT ADAM: It really was. Nowadays, it's cool to geek out,"
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"but back then, lady nerds were extremely rare in my town."
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"I'm thinking for our first issue,"
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"we're gonna tackle Lord of the Rings."
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"- Ever read it? - Have I?"
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"ADULT ADAM: I had not."
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"Have I?"
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"ADULT ADAM: I really hadn't, but this girl was perfect,"
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"so lying seemed right."
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"I must have read it, like, zero to 10 times."
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"- Talk about it at the meeting? - It's a date!"
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"It's not a date."
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"Well, a date as in "a moment marked in my calendar"."
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"I'm gonna go now."
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"ADULT ADAM: I had a date! Kinda."
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"All I had to do was read Lord of the Rings."
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"How hard could it be?"
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"- Turns out, very. - (GROANS)"
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"It was super-long and boring, and made me mad."
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"Hey! Easy!"
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"You could kill someone with that dictionary."
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"It's not a dictionary, Pops,"
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"even though it has every word in it."
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"That's a reading book? Oh, my."
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"I met a girl, Pops. She's older. She knows stuff."
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"An experienced lady, huh? Now, this is where Pops shines."
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"How can I help you?"
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"What do you know about hobbits? Talk to me."
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"Give me your life wisdom about the Shire. Now!"
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"I don't know what that is."
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"I was talking about how to get your arm around a dame at a picture show."
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"Oh, man. I got to read 1,000 pages. I'm screwed!"
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"Why do I got to have a crush on a girl with required reading?"
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"Ooh,"
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"my baby's got a crush!"
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"I have a crush on my baby having a crush."
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"I want every detail about her. Talk. Now. Go. Tell me."
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"(GROANS) Okay."
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"Her name's Jackie Geary. We got lots in common. The end."
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